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I grew up anorexic. My mom was chubby as a kid and at times obese and is on and off now in her adult life. So I was born anorexic.
Then at some point I became an overeater.
Now with the help of these boards (and a board called FlyLady...FlyLady.net), I am getting to a healthy LIFESTYLE!
I just want to send my love to ALL of the people here...and to you Jaime *hugs* we can do this together! SOOOOO many of us use food to hide pain and even joy! It's GREAT when you feel your feelings and are PRESENT for them (though sometimes I just want to SCREAM!!!!!)
Thank you both soooo much for sharing this here...it means a lot to me!
Love you both!!!!
Ruch
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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jaime, you really triggered something with your comment, but in an enlightening way.
i don't live in my body. i dissociate. the only thing that truly grounds me is pain, but i also dissociate--or live outside of myself due to pain, fear, etc.
when i see fat people i am so very sad and angry. the sight of fat people takes my appetite away. i feel claustrophobic in the company of fat people. my mother is overweight and i'm sending her spa meals c/o me, all to no avail. i read an interesting article in McClean's magazine about the neuro-hormonal chemistry of fat/thin people. It's related to dopomine receptors. Thin people are wired differently, or have different neuro-chemical responses.
I consciously don't have a problem with obese people, but obviously I do on another level as being exposed to them makes me feel violently physically ill. Yes, it's a kind of NLP response. Truly kind of Orwellian--no joke. I don't have a fear of being fat--just a feeling of intense physical revulsion around fat people, fat in my foods, and well fatness.
I don't know what to say, except..."just shoot me?"
kate.
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Hi Beth,
The soup recipe that I am using is one that I found originally in the "Fat Women Don't Get Fat" book, and then modified slightly.. So this is my end result:
3 potatoes, peeled and cut into cubes
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
1 Leek, cleaned carefully and sliced crosswise
2 small onions, peeled and quartered
1 celery stalk, washed and sliced
1 small bunch parsley, cleaned and chopped
1 can of diced tomatoes.
Salt and Pepper
Dried Thyme
Put all the veggies in a big pot, it should be about 10 cups of vegetables in total. Add pepper and salt, and dried thyme. (I also added some ground peppercorns and some chipotle flakes for some flav-ah  ). Then as many cups of veggies (so probably 10) add that many cups of water.
Bring to a boil, then simmer for an hour and half.
Drain off liquid.
Put cooked veggies in food processor, blend.
Add back liquid until desired consistency is reached, and VOILA!
I like it very much, haven't had it since my stomach has been so bad but last time I made two huge pots and froze a bunch of it individually so I can defrost it for easy dinners and stuff.. once belly is feeling better.
Cheers!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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