Frustrated and Scared
#93290 - 07/26/04 06:07 PM
|
|
|
|
Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
|
|
|
Hey Guys,
I'm basically just venting here so forgive me, but I felt like I needed to. I went to my GP today and got the results of my recent bloodwork and my B12 is so low I have to have weekly shots rather than monthly ones. I know this should really be the least of my concerns right now but I hate needles so much...I'm fine with having blood taken but hate the intramuscular shots. I tried to be brave and was all smiles until the nurse left the room, and then broke down into tears. Over a stupid vitamin shot! I tried to compose myself before the doc came in but didn't have too much luck 
Then the doctor mentioned he thinks I may need to be hospitalized to get this under control faster, both because it would help gets tests done quicker and also because I'm not eating properly and showing nerological problems from the B12 deficiency. It's a scary prospect...I don't want to have to go into the hospital.
I'm just really hoping that my GI appointment on Thursday yields some positive results...so anyone who can send positive vibes my way, I would really appreciate it.
BTW, does this get easier when you get older? I remember when I was little I used to think, "when I'm 18, needles won't bother me at all". Or "when I'm 20, I won't be scared of surgery." Now I'm 22 and still just as scared...does it ever go away?
Thanks for listening guys, I appreciate it 
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly,
My heart goes out to you! It sure does seem like you keep getting nailed with yet another setback, doesn't it?
In all honesty, Kelly, I think it might be good if you ended up in the hospital, only because that way you're sure to be getting the level of attention you need. To me, sending someone home with powerful pain meds without knowing the cause of the pain is unacceptable!
As for the shots, psychologically speaking, exposure to the thing you fear can sometimes relieve the fear. Maybe try visualizing yourself successfully getting the shots.
I'm thinking good thoughts for you!!!
--------------------
Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Kelly,
I'm so sorry you are going through this. If the doc thinks you need these B12 shots you should be sure and get them. I have heard of B12 sublingual (melt under the tongue). You might ask about that.
When you are getting your shots could you take some headphones and play some soothing music to get your mind off of it? Maybe that would help. Do you have Xanax or something like that to relax you?
Also, going to the hospital might not be so bad. You will get round the clock care and get pampered and food brought to you. I have always enjoyed my hospital stays even the one when I had my appendix out and that was pretty painful.
It might be a good way to get some rest. We just want you to get better whatever it takes.
Sending good vibes your way
Barbie
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Honestly? What finally got me over my fear of needles was weekly bloodwork, while I had an especially bad case of mono. Shots are still not my favorite thing in the world, but they don't bother me nearly as much as they did before I had mono, so maybe it'll become almost routine to you? It's a thought. I wish there was some way to make all of this easier for you. I don't blame you one bit for being frustrated and scared - I definitely would be. (And, other than the needles, still am, at 29.)
I know hospitals suck, but if that's the route they decide to go, look on the bright side: it *would* be getting all those tests and everything done quicker, and then hopefully they can get you on the mend quicker too.
In the meantime, I'm a-sending good vibes for Thursday. Hang in there, Kelly!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Kelly,
I'm so sorry that your GP appointment didn't go well, but the good news is that he wants to take care of you right away. Getting hospitalized will at least get you on the road to recovery faster. I know this is scary but as Barbie said - at least you'll have around the clock care.
My son has trouble with shots and having blood drawn and our doctor prescribed a cream that helps. It's called EMLA cream (lidocaine 2.5% and prilocaine 2.5%) and it's helped him alot.
Yes, it does get a little easier as you get older, although everyone gets frustrated and scared at times. Some of the things that scared me the most have actually brought me to the best times of my life!
Just hang in there Kelly & try to take it easy on yourself. You are going through a rough time now but things will get better and you'll enjoy the good times of your life even more for having gone through this.
I hope this post made sense (I started to ramble). Sending lots of good thoughts your way!
Kim
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Urgh I feel for ya! I am such a scaredy cat of needles myself. I used to have so much trouble getting them. But being pregnant helped me so much because I had to get so many and I also told myself if I can't handle a needle, I will be pathetic during labour LOL
It's really tough to get rid of the fear...and I don't know what to suggest, but I found it really helps to think of something much worse and scary to you. Then the needles won't seem so bad.
Also - try talking to the nurse while she gives it to you. Ask her about her family, kids etc. It helped me.
That's all I got though. Good luck. And sorry you are having such a terrible time. I will send positive vibes your way.
(((THINKING POSITIVE)))) 
--------------------
Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Kelly-
It will get easier to handle once you start to feel better. Once you start to realize you can feel well again, the flares will be easier to handle. I didn't realize how young you are. I was 32 when I was diagnosed with Crohn's and IBS. Before they figured out what was going on, I was a complete wreck. I was so weak and so sick I can remember crawling on the floor to get to the phone to talk to my GI. My husband came rushing home from work because I was so out of control mentally I really didn't think I was going to survive. But if you do have Crohn's once they start you on the proper medications you will start to feel better and stronger. I know you haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but if you are I would suggest Jill's book on IBD if you don't already have it. It really helped me to have the information and accept that this is a lifelong thing. Jill also moderates a message board on ivillage.com for IBD that will have more information. Even if they do diagnose you with IBD, you might still have IBS also. I have both. So keep on Heather's diet. A lot of the foods that Jill advises you to avoid for IBD are compatible with the IBS diet.
Take care of yourself, rest, and go in the hospital if it is needed. You will feel better when they properly diagnose you, I promise.
Ann Marie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly,
I certainly do understand! After my surgery and subsequent hospital stay for 6 days, I was almost in tears myself over getting my TEETH CLEANED!  I just didn't want anybody touching me! LOL. I was able to keep it together so the hygienist and dds didn't know, but I sure felt like I was going to lose it on the inside! I felt so stupid too! But you can't help your feelings sometimes...Missyb
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Now MissyB, don't take this wrong ... I don't mean to get all preachy here, but something you wrote set me off a bit. "You can't help your feelings sometimes."
I want to preface this with an image for you: me in the emergency room in February, bawling like a baby, sobbing with tears running down my face, shaking like a leaf from head to toe. Terrified. They weren't even DOING anything to me yet!! Okay, so that said, and keeping in mind that I am a serious pansyass when it comes to pain, the flip side to that is that I'm just fine and dandy when it comes to needles, shots, whatever -- come and get me, I've got my arm out, no problem!
Okay, now back to the feelings part. Stick with me now .... feelings don't just come out of nowhere. ALL feelings are caused by THOUGHTS. There is no feeling that is not the result of a thought. Okay? And -- usually to some degree -- you can control your thoughts. If I tell you to think about a six-foot-tall bunch of broccoli right now, you can think about it, huh? Okydoky. Well, then, it follows that if you can think about whatever you decide to, and feelings follow thoughts, then you can at least direct your feelings if not totally control them.
I start thinking about things in the hospital that cause me pain and I start freaking out. I think about shots and I'm fine because that's how I think. DUH.
Kel, maybe if you practice thinking about some non-fearful thoughts associated with shots you will at least get better at it, huh? Picture that nice friendly B12 under your skin, spreading out to make your whole body and mind feel all better. Picture yourself sleeping restfully spread out on the bed with a little smile on your face. Picture yourself waking up with birds singing and you feel pretty spiffy because now you have B12 running around in your system. (Believe me, I know how staggery you feel when the b12 is down -- I'm doing the same thing!)
If you can trick or train your mind to associate good stuff with shots instead of bad stuff with shots, it will help some. (And maybe I'll take my own advice and work on my response to pain, eh?)
Do investigate that sub-lingual B12 idea. I asked about it, too, but was told it's just not as effective as the shots, and since I don't mind shots, I just let it go. But I'm curious if it would work for you, so let us know, okay?
BEST OF LUCK, we're pullin' for ya, hang in there baby. You can do this, and as someone else noted, once you get properly diagnosed and treated, you'll be amazed at how life brightens back up again. Trust me, it's true.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Kelly; hoping your feeling a little better today! Everyone has great advice here. I take a Vit.B12 tablet every day. Who knows with having the shot everyday your fear of needles maybe over.(maybe) Either just look away when they give it to you;or just talk to the nurse. The hospital stay may be a good thing. I know no one likes to be in the hospital but this might be your life saver!! Just think not having to cook! just being served yours meals. I know you said you are not eating but maybe you might eat a little there, because you might have less fear of what happens when you eat .Does this make sense? Also the Dr. is right the tests will be done faster. I am sending positive vibes your way...and a hug (( )) for thursday.
Does it get easier when you get older??? I think it does!! The older I get the wiser I get,the older I get the less fear I have because I want to experience new things!( Went on a whole slew of rollercoaster rides that I never thought I would ever do, Husband was very surprised)( Surprised myself) The older I get the more I live each day to its fullest! ( my age is 43)
Take care of yourself, I will be thinking of you on thursday. Sue
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly,
Big hugs. I just got out of the hospital & I actually gained two lbs. I didn't get much rest, but I sure needed the two lbs. So think of the hospital stay as an opportunity to gain some weight. I am assuming you will be on an IV? Good luck & I hope you feel better.
--------------------
Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Smooches, Kelly!
#93542 - 07/27/04 01:40 PM
|
|
|
|
Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
|
|
|
Hi Kelly,
I just now read your post. Boy, am I ever behind! No time, no time! Oy.
Kelly, you've had such a bad time of it, and I hate that things aren't getting much better for you. But aren't you getting tired of it? Don't you want some answers? Being hospitalized might be the best thing, really, because they'll be able to watch you closely and run tests -- and most likely find the problem once and for all.
Maybe I'm just a sucker for attention, but I loved being in the hospital. They actually wait on you, did you know that? They do EVERYTHING for you -- and all you gotta do is sleep and watch TV and RE-LAX!
Despite the fact that I have an extremely low threshold for pain, needles don't bother me -- because I know that what they're doing is helping me. Please try to look at it that way; after all, it's true.
I'm actually encouraged for you now, Kelly -- I think this is a positive step forward. How long would you be hospitalized, any idea?
And, by the way, take it from a 60 year-old broad. Yeah, it DOES get easier, absolutely! At this point, I just figure, what the hell, either I'll get better from the shot or I'll puke my guts out. Regardless, one way or the other, I'm gonna get better as a result.
{{{{ Hugs }}}}
Bev
--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice, I really appreciate it. I feel a lot better now...you guys are the best!
I don't have many details yet, my GP was just mentioning hospitalization may be a possibility, but it's likely ultimately up to my GI so who knows what'll happen...and the needles, I'll just have to keep reminding myself that they're supposed to help me and suck it up.
Work has put me on a short term disability leave, I have to fill out paperwork to make sure everything gets approved but as for now I'm off...which is a bit of a relief because I'm not functioning very well and now at least I can take my meds whenever and not have to worry about my schedule.
I will keep you guys posted. Thanks again!
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hang in there, sweetie. Will be praying for you on Thursday. One thought: if they do hospitalize you, it may be a good thing because you will likely see specialists REALLY FAST because they don't like to keep you long anymore. This may work to your advantage - it will force them to finally buckle down and find out exactly what's going on. Considering the pain you're in and the weight you've lost, it may be a good idea.
I know you're worn out and scared. I hate hospitals, too. But I got through it when I had to be there. Somehow, you'll manage. Just like you'll manage all of those horrible shots. You never know, you may get used to them.
Hugs from Han.
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Kelly, I'm echoing all the other posts, but wanted to let you know that you have our moral support. It is good that you are going into the hospital -- it's a scary thing to do since it brings to attention the seriousness of the problem, but just keep thinking about how this will finally get things under control with your vitamin deficiency.
I absolutely hate needles, so I sympathize with those shots. Just try and take things in stride and maybe rationalize a little -- the needle will only take a couple of seconds, which isn't all that much in the course of your week. Just make sure you don't watch, and bring along something soothing whether it be music or otherwise that you can have before, during and afterwards.
I know this is all easier said than done, but this is just the beginning of a process that will make you feel better in the end. Just know that we're all here for you.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Kelly,
I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Maybe going in the hospital will be a way for you to get some answers. You have had so many things going on lately that have been worrying you.
Things do get easier as you get older. Things that seemed so important to me when I was 22 don't even cross my mind now.
Good Luck!
--------------------
Janey
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Posts
