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A question about stability
      #90799 - 07/16/04 09:30 AM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

So after my ranting the other day - and totally not being able to eat ANYTHING yesterday, not even from the "what to eat when you can't eat anything" list - I'm kind of curious.

Could my problems with not feeling better at all yet, after 7 weeks on the diet, be a combination of not being on a high enough SFS dosage yet, and just plain not eating enough?

I have a feeling the answer is "yes", but I just need some encouragement, I guess... I feel like I've lost all hope, and I really want to find some of that again. I've been coasting on the SFS for the past few weeks, but I'm going to increase today. I'm so tired of feeling lousy. I've barely eaten for the past 2 weeks because I just CANNOT eat when my insides are gurgling and cramping. I've lost so much weight that my boyfriend is genuinely afraid for me. I spent a lot of yesterday asleep, because I didn't even have the energy to sit at the computer. My doctor's appointment isn't until Aug. 2, and in the meantime, I'm so miserable that I'm starting to think that jumping off a bridge isn't such a bad idea.

By the way, I did finally get an appointment with a therapist - I go this Monday morning. I'm still not convinced they can really do anything to help me, but I'm at a point where I'll try ANYTHING that I can afford. I don't think I've ever been so low.

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Re: A question about stability new
      #90836 - 07/16/04 10:10 AM
LauraSue

Reged: 01/14/04
Posts: 4812
Loc: New York City

Yes, and yes. That could be exactly the problem.

You HAVE TO EAT, Casey! Otherwise your tummy will be trying to do its thing and have nothing to work on so it will spazz! Also just to stay alive one does generally need to eat! j/k! How about setting up a food plan to make sure you get at least 1000 calories a day?

Ditto on the SFS. It helps give your tummy something to do its thing on so it doesn't get rumbly grumbly. Set yourself a plan on that too. And report in to me on the Vegas board, okay?

THERE IS HOPE!! This plan works when you work it, so work it, you're worth it! (And stay away from bridges, okay??!!)

Feel better sweetie, it's just the disease talking, not reality.

--------------------
Laura
Keep it simple!

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Casey... new
      #90842 - 07/16/04 10:16 AM
ChristineM

Reged: 05/31/04
Posts: 1662
Loc: soCal

I just want to say I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much right now! You DEFINITELY need to eat! Please force yourself to, even when the tummy is grouchy!

We're all pulling for you! Maybe the therapist can work with you on relaxation techniques or how to not fear food when you feel like this...

Sending good thoughts your way!

--------------------
Christine

Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.

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Re: A question about stability new
      #90844 - 07/16/04 10:20 AM
Sheri01

Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey

definately eat something! If even you are just eating plain bread! I found that my 'D' attacks will seem to stop sooner and be less painful if I eat bread. bagels and pretzels have always been my life savers when I have been really sick.
Just have hope that this WILL stop oneday. I used to be as bad as you and there WAS an end to it, but it's hard not to get really depressed when you have to live through it.
If you starve yourself you will feel ALOT worse, that I know from experience.
Good luck, and just hang in there!
Also remember to drink lots of water for strength

--------------------
-Sheri

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Re: A question about stability new
      #90852 - 07/16/04 10:34 AM
Saralou

Reged: 10/18/03
Posts: 62
Loc: Maryland

Hey Casey-

I am sorry that you are feeling so low (physically as well as mentally). I can relate to wanting to jump off a bridge when the pain gets particularly bad. There have been times where I think that if the rest of my life has to be like it is when the pain is very bad, continuous and seemingly never-ending, that I rather end it all now. I mean, who wants to live like that, right? But here's the thing, as bad as the pain can be at times, or in this case, all the time, it does not feel as bad as your loved ones would if you did end up jumping off a bridge...
From reading some of your past emails, I gather that you do not eat enough. You may very well eat frequently throughout the day, but that does not mean that you are getting enough calories/nutriets, etc.
When you say that you are feeling bad, do you mean that you are not able to go to the bathroom (or are going too much if you are D) or do you mean the pain is so bad? I can tell you right now that you have to eat even when you are not hungry or are in pain. Stick to ff saltine crackers, white rice, oatmeal, etc. for a good 3-4 days (forget the fruits and veggies). When you feel a little better, start incorporating other soluble fiber (sweet potato, cooked carrots, beets, bananas, mangoes, peeled apple, etc.) Once you start feeling even better, then add a small amount of insoluble fiber (and I mean small, at the end of your meal). If you do not do so already, try keeping a journal for the next 2 weeks or so where you write down not only everything that you eat or take and at what times, but whether you have had a bm that day, how much water you consumed, how well or poorly you slept, how you felt mentally, anything out of the ordinary that occurred, if you worked out, etc...to see if there is something that you are possibly missing.
But just as important, if not more, remember that your mental state plays a HUGE role in how your body will feel. I can rarely remember a time when I was in pain, when I was not upset, sad, down, stressed (even if I did not know it). I had a a lot of difficulty believing that my mind could have such an effect on my body...but it does (and I know that eating poorly in college and drinking and having eating disorders did not help my case either). Get as much sleep as you can, pump yourself up mentally by doing things that you enjoy, even if you do not feel 100% and tell yourself that you will feel better (cuz you will). I mean it Casey and I cannot emphasize it enough. Today, and the past while might have been a low point, but there are definitely high ones to come, you just have to make yourself believe it. It's normal to get down about life, we all do, and it's normal to get done about the pain, we all do that too, but you have to remember that this is only temporary and that you can and will get better.
I have been doing the hypno tapes and feel that they are helping me. I also stopped taking my birth control and think that helps too. I take a walk after every morsel of foon I eat, even if only up and down the hall. I excercise everyday and drink plenty of water (which I know you do too). I take 2 fibercon 3xs/day, and take 2 digestive enzymes and 1 pep pill before every meal.
If you ever want to talk about anything (either IBS related or not) please do not hesitate to email me...I'll be here if you want to chat.
Good luck and try as much as you can to keep your spirits high. Know that as much as it does not feel like it sometimes, you are not alone in this.

Sara

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Thanks, Sara... new
      #90865 - 07/16/04 11:35 AM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

I know I'm not eating enough. My main problems right now are nausea and fear. On the rare occasion that I'm not nauseated, I'm scared to death to eat anything beyond rice and crackers. I've been eating the "what to eat when you can't eat anything" diet for the past 2 weeks, but leaving out fruits (including the ones that everyone else finds "safe", like bananas and applesauce) and most veggies (I'm ok with carrots). I do keep a food journal.

The fear is why I'm hoping the therapist will be able to help me. If she can't, I hope she'll at least be quick to send me off to a psychiatrist to be medicated. I've been struggling with this since January and I'm tired.

I literally, honestly, can't afford the hypno program. If I could, I would have bought it back when I first found the boards and saw the rave reviews for it. I believe it'll help me. However, I can't afford it.

Anyway, I'm just kind of rambling... I know I didn't even address everything you mentioned. Thanks for all the suggestions and kind words of support.

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LS! new
      #90868 - 07/16/04 11:39 AM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

Well, you got me to laugh, anyway. Heh. I know, one typically does need to eat to stay alive.

I will actually take your suggestion to report on the Vegas board. I thought that keeping a food journal was going to be enough to "motivate" me to eat even when I don't feel like eating, but it really isn't. Maybe if I have to go public with how little I'm forcing down, it'll eventually make me eat more. (I'm not articulating this well, but you know what I mean, I hope.)

And I'm increasing my SFS today. It was a "duh" moment this morning, for sure.

Thanks for the advice! I'm not normally this low and blah and defeated, I'm really not... I know it's just the disease talking.

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Re: A question about stability new
      #90874 - 07/16/04 11:57 AM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

I do nosh on ff saltines, pretty much all the time. And most of the time, I manage to eat a little rice cereal in the morning, after I've been awake for an hour or so. The really stupid part about this is that I'm not having a lot of D, or even a lot of C. It happens, but not every day. I just never feel like eating. But yes, I know I have to force myself to.

It's encouraging for me to hear that you used to be as bad, and that you're better now... that gives me a little hope. Thank you.

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Re: LS! new
      #90877 - 07/16/04 12:02 PM
LauraSue

Reged: 01/14/04
Posts: 4812
Loc: New York City

There ya go, chica!! And now your reward. My favorite yummy when I can't eat anything else? A piece of white bread with honey drizzled on it, folded in half, eaten standing up in the kitchen. I don't know why that last part is so important, but it is!! It's like I have to trick my mind into thinking I'm NOT eating!! he he

I know you're not usually this low. That's why I figured if I could make you laugh, it would help!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}

--------------------
Laura
Keep it simple!

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To Casey
      #90881 - 07/16/04 12:16 PM
Saralou

Reged: 10/18/03
Posts: 62
Loc: Maryland

Casey...would you mind giving me your phone # or personal email address...OR would you call/email me if I gave you mine?

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