Gas Pain....and Dating
#89134 - 07/12/04 03:36 PM
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I had one of the most embarrasing experiences ever. I was on a date (first date), and my IBS kicked in with the bloat...and in the car....I just exploded. He made an extreme scene about it, and I just about died. Anyone have similar experiences? Anyone have IBS date recommendations?
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"He made an extreme scene about it, and I just about died. Anyone have similar experiences? Anyone have IBS date recommendations?"
Hey starimpaler!
First bit of advice would be to not date A$$hole$!  Seriously, what kind of jerk makes a big deal about something as minor as that. Ah well, at least he showed his true colours early on.
I've had some bad date experiences, luckily the girls have all been good about it. Without getting into too much detail I try and tell them beforehand that I have some stomach problems. I had one date where we had dinner, wasn't feeling great, waited a bit, then had a really really bad case of D, came back, sat and talked for a bit then as we were driving out of the parking lot..."uh oh". Parked the car, ran back into the restaurant. She was really understanding.
I learned the hard way that having cooked brocolli, carrots and calliflower on a date is a bad idea as well :s
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I've been lucky enough to have mostly good experiences with people I've dated, despite some quick darts to the bathroom from time to time. I agree with Jamie though -- this might be a sign of a guy you probably wouldn't want to date in the first place.
- Vincent
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My advice, find a more understanding guy. My boyfriend knew there's was certain stuff I couldn't eat (he's a coffe-holic and when he asked me out, he asked me to ask him out on whatever my version of coffee was since he knew I couldn't have it; we went for a walk the next night instead). But seriously, he's not worth it if he can't handle your IBS, it's a part of you. And there are understanding guys out there. And stick to the diet and don't cheat when you're on a date, that helps too 
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I not-so-jokingly call IBS my "a$$hole filter". Before a first date, I have a nice long chat on the phone, and explain that I have "stomach problems" that are quite severe. I then explain that I can't eat this and I can't do that, etc etc, and sometimes even just explaining all that is enough to weed out the really intolerant jerks.
Anyone who's going to make "an extreme scene" about a bodily function needs to grow up, IMO. I'm sorry it was such a bad experience for you, but you're better off without that kind of lack of support!
Hope you're feeling better!
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Dude
#89265 - 07/13/04 04:38 AM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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if he had made an extreme scene with me, i'd have had to get out of the car and call a girlfriend to pick me up.
kick him to the curb.
in the future, just stick with only the really safe stuff all day before a date and certainly on the date. don't drink alcohol unless you know you can handle it! i know i can't tolerate even a single beer without getting bloaty and gassy. several more will send me right to the bathroom. same with wine. i stick with my vodka drinks! 
there are lovely people out there who are more mature than this dude. jeepers. what a loser.
was the food good, at least?
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Quote:
I not-so-jokingly call IBS my "a$$hole filter".
I love it! 
I don't have much advice to offer because I haven't really dated much since IBS... partially because I was hardly leaving the house for a while. Now that I'm doing better I just haven't found anyone promising... but when I do I'll definitely try out that a$$hole filter!! 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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LOL...the food was just regular food for $50 a plate. He also "forgot" his wallet. 
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Thanks for the advice. After all, guys do it all the time.
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I feel the same way. What do you usually eat on a date?
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please don't mind me butting in here! My IBS developed while I was with my ex BF, so I didn't need to get through a cautious dating stage with him. My next BF I was already good friends with and he knew about my condition. This was before I started the IBS diet, though.
If he wanted to go out for coffee we would go, but I would eat a bagel and drink water.
Now, when he takes me out (or vice verse), we go to Japanese restaurants and get sushi. Just have to look out for rolls with cream cheese in them. And request a bowl of rice be brought out as your appetizer.I am not sure where you are from, but around me there are plenty of Chinese/ Japanese food places, incase your date my be alittle sushi-shy.
Definately only eat a small portion... even if you want more. Portioning is hard for me, I always want to gobble up my whole plate if it tastes good. Only eat half of your plate or even less. (another + about sushi- you could order just one roll- it's the perfect portion) And bring a chamomile tea bag with you, incase the restaurant doesn't have any.
This helps tremendously.
I never thought the day would come that I could go out to dinner FIRST and then a movie, but now I do all the time. Good luck on your dating... I know it was SOO hard hiding my gas from my BF, even though he knew all about my problem and even had an ex with IBS, it is still an embarassing situation!
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-Sheri
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Well, Luckily, I'm married now so I can fart away!! LOL!!
But seriously, when you go out try baked chicken or fish, rice or baked potato, be careful with veggies. Fill up on bread before your meal and don't overeat!! Thats hard to do when I go out to dinner! I am good with past as well, just watch out for cheese, things with "red" sauce are usually safe for me!
Keep looking, you'll find the right person for you! That guy was so not the right person!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Oh forget this dude. He's a loser. I try to be pretty safe when I go out on a date. Grilled chicken for the most part is a safe bet for me.
Getting back to this guy he forgets his wallet and then makes a scene because of this? Unbelieveable
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I know, I know. He was a weirdo. This is after I talked to him for about half an hour on how I sometimes feel like my colon is ready to explode. Oh well...as my grandma used to say, "you are not the chosen one....mwahahahaha."
What's wrong with farting anyways? It's not like it smells that bad.
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Re: Dude
#89430 - 07/13/04 12:04 PM
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JBI
Reged: 01/25/04
Posts: 579
Loc: BC, Canada
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I was in the car with some friends of mine who have been together since the middle of highschool (they're 25 now). It was a hot day with no Air conditioning when the power windows all went up. Then the driver got a big smile on his face. apparently that's the game they'd play with each other whenever one farted 
Although I don't plan on subjecting a potential date to any such torture, I agree, what's the big deal? Especially if you're polite about it, it really shouldn't be a big deal, yet some people make a huge deal out of it. Although, you don't necessarily want to do it on a first date.
And that date of yours just sounded like a totally knob. It's a good thing things didn't work out!
For date food, I haven't been on many recently, but generally I'm the same as most folks here. Try and go somewhere where you can get a nice easy chicken breast with rice and maybe a baked potato. Make sure you have some soluble fiber beforehand as well. If they are the chosen one (mwhahahaha ... haha sorry, I thought that was funny ) then they won't mind and they'll understand why you don't want to go out for ribs, pizza and beer.
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Quote:
Well, Luckily, I'm married now so I can fart away!! LOL!!
Now that is the attitude to have! Love it! Chuckle, chuckle!!
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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Quote:
LOL...the food was just regular food for $50 a plate. He also "forgot" his wallet.
He probably burped at the table too. Loose and him and don't let him follow you home. Serious looser warning signs all over.
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Peace,
Tammy
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oh my!!! *drool*
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If I don't get enough soluables in during my meal, or if I drink my water too fast the gass can really kick in! It is embarrasing for me. I have been known to go to the bathroom only to fart! With my husband, I say that I "toot" and he has been known to (jokingly) say that I "toot" more than anyone else he knows! It's just that with him, he hears it because I don't feel like I should have to go to the bathroom to fart when it's just me and him at home! My IBS developed about one year after we'd gotten married though - so it was something we both had to get used to! If a guy makes you feel bad, he's never the one for you. Hope you find the right one soon!
Min
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LOL..thank you...I will. It's just soooooooo embarrasing. That is one of the reasons many of us ibsers don't have much of a social life.
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Hey,
I don't have that problem because most of my gas is trapped....I wish I could <<<<let it blow>>>> because I know I would feel much better.
Anyway, my hubby doesn't have IBS but he eats lots of beans & veggies so...of course....he farts a lot. We have been married 37 yrs and we have lots of fun with it... Of course this is in the privacy of our own home... Sometimes they sound like a tune and we have names for different sounding ones....it's so funny When you have been married for a long time you find crazy things to laugh about.
I have started back to work part time after being off for a year. Anyway, the place I work has one bathroom for men & women and it's in sorta close proximity to the offices. I am afraid that if I have to "D" I will stink up the whole office. Gee Whiz, I hope that doesn't happen for the sake of everyone in the office....he he
BTW, you might try taking a Phazyme before you go on a date and stay away from gas producing foods.
Barbie
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At least you know that this is going to be your embarassing date story, and that it wasn't worse! What if you had to explain to him when he was about to lean in for a kiss that you had a massive exlosive diarehea attack coming on. Or even worse, wound up at his place and smelled up his bathroom?
A boy once told me that you can tell that a girl is really comfortable around a guy and cares for him if she farts in his presence. I fart in front of my boyfriend. The first time I ever did was last winter when we were trapped in my closet apartment and I hade BAD gas. And oh boy do I mean bad. They were the worst I had ever smelled, completely putrid! he could tell that I was so embarrassed that he let it go. Now we laugh about that kind of stuff. he told me that I was the first girlfriend that he farted infront of. I told my coworkers this and they said that we must be a match made in heaven and will wind up married.
To sum things up- if someone can't go with the flow- then they are worthless and no good to be around anyway.
Someday you will find a guy that loves you, farts and all.
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-Sheri
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Good guys (and girls too I hope) will laugh with you and not at you.
btw, if you don't mind me asking how old are you and the guys you are dating?
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i have a ridiculous affinity for potty humor. i think i'm actually a third-grade boy in disguise!
sad, but a well-told and well-timed crude joke is the way to my heart (as long as it's not in a totally inappropriate situation!).
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~Wookie
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Well my boyfriend says that if I would just sign up for the army the country could just stop its Nuclear-Chemical-Biological Weapons programme there and then. They could just stand me with my back to the enemy... well you get the picture. Anyway fart to your heart's content, it's good to relieve some of that pressure
(Hey Vincent - my initials are jrs!  )
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My husband says he has to laugh to keep from crying most of the time. We have been together 22 years and he is used to it by now. We do laugh about it and now if my kids here us laughing after we have gone to bed they will say the next day we heard you laughing at Mom having gas. I guess I have a reputation around my house.
Janey
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Janey
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My husband and I laugh over the same things too! He's not a big guy and I have no idea how he gets all that air in, but it sure is funny when it comes out! His are different pitches ranging from a trumpet sound to whistle and different tones sometimes sounding angry or cute.
I also understand what you mean about the loo at work. Although ours is not co-ed, it is in close proximity of everyone else and to make matters worse there is a vent in the door! Luckily, everyone knows about my having IBS and there is plenty of Lysol!
Hope you have a great day!
Kim
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Talking about trapped gas, that's what I get. I have started doing the stretch that heather recommends and it makes me belch like you wouldn't believe. Then my tummy feels so much better. It happened yesterday. I was in the car for over 4 hours on and off and my guts just did a number on me. I had to go to a concert last night. My tummy was huge and I felt awful. So I lay on the floor on my side, bent knees and take one arm and lift it up then try to get it to the floor, so now you are lying almost flat but with your knees bent to one side. It takes time for that arm to get to the floor and all the time I belch and belch. This stretch by the way I also did when i had a frozen shoulder (my physio man got me to do it). Anyway, try it it will help, I am sure. Neeta
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