Harassment at work due to IBS!
#8777 - 05/10/03 08:53 PM
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KyAngel
Reged: 04/24/03
Posts: 49
Loc: Pikeville, Kentucky
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I do not know if this is the right place to add this post but I had to tell someone about it because it has truly been bothering me all day.
I was at work today and this girl that has been dogging me for months about my bathroom habits made a very cruel comment about me where I was within an earshot to hear it.
She said that my boss stated they could get a port-a-potty for me and a cordless telephone. I knew she was referring to me because she got quiet when she was referring to the person he was talking about.
I have put up with so much crap at my current place of employment. Some people I talk to tell me I take it personally because I have low self esteem, most say it is because I am being harassed and no one should have to put up with it and that is why it bothers me so.
I never asked God to give me this IBS I never asked God to put the harassment in my life. I never asked for any of this to happen to me. I suppose I am very emotionally drained over this entire thing.
If anyone wishes to chat with me please email me at the email in my profile. I work as a Dialup/ADSL Technical Support person and I have to be on the phones 8 hours straight with 2 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch.
It is just getting to where I am ready to quit my job and just give up on life. I am frustrated and I see no answers coming to me soon.
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Those people are SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is one of the most upsetting, inconsiderate, mean-spirited things!!!!!!!
Those people have a REAL problem! First, they're adults--what are they waisting their time with? Obviously, they have nothing creative to talk about--so they have to put down others to make themselves look good(they look pretty PATHETIC to me)! It's bad enough when kids act that way--when adults do it--it's inexcusable!
I would have gone right up to that woman while she was having this discussion and said "And how have YOUR bowel movements been lately? It's so nice when folks are comfortable discussing these things..."
It's up to you to quit or not--but what's going on is VERY unprofessional--and quite upsetting! I support you no matter what you decide. But, YOU DON'T DESERVE to be treated that way. I'm SO SORRY you are going through this--please keep us posted as to what you decide. I feel you should be appreciated wherever you work--I'm sure you work hard and do a GREAT job! You don't need people who giggle when someone passes gas--they need you to make themselves feel better though! Remember that--YOU DON'T NEED EM'!
((((((((hugs hugs))))))))
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I tell myself that I don't need them. I don't know if you are a Christian or not; however, I have had two prior incidents with this person and I told my head boss to let it pass and I would see how things were handled. Eventually they found out I had spoken to him and went to another girl telling her I had mentioned her name to him specifically. She went back to my head boss and validated to him that they were indeed talking about me like that however she had nothing to do with it, so they hung themselves in that area 
I just want to be fair and my mother tells me I am being way to fair because they do not care enough about me to be considerate of me and my feelings yet I am theirs and she says that is me being a patsy. I understand her view on things but I believe in seeing the positive in everyone and giving them chance even when I'm wronged.
I care to much for people I suppose. This time around if she gets into trouble she put the noose there, I didn't. 
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I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Obviously this person has problems--that's what I was saying when I said they need to talk about you and they don't have anyting better to talk about. I feel bad for them! It IS pathetic...and I don't mean that to be mean--I really DO feel bad for them!
I don't feel bad for you! You are taking care of yourself, you go to work EVEN THOUGH IT'S HARD! I give you a LOT of credit! And the fact that you are able to care about this person--that shows strenghth and character! Are you being too nice? No--BUT I don't like the way this person is having a negative affect on your life--that's NOT fair!
If we TRULY believe that a person has their own problems and they are "using" us to feel better about themselves--then we truly become a better person--BUT only if it doesn't hurt us in the process. Does that make sense?
I hope this helps...and again, GOOD FOR YOU!
((Hugs))
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh, sweetie, you need a different job! You need to work at a place where there are grown-ups around you instead of little silly kids.
One of the things I hate about this stupid illness is that it just lends itself to scorn. Think about it - if you had cancer or even really severe acne, nobody would make fun of you! I'm thinking Karin was right about re-naming it to something more serious. You could dazzle people with a really technical medical term and then be on your way, leaving them scratching their heads in wonder.
Meanwhile, I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that you are a better person than they are (and probably a better worker too, considering you don't waste company time gossiping about your co-workers). Ignore them and eventually they'll go away.
sperry_twiggins
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Thought about you when I read this artiacle in my local
newspaper today.
Get rid of bullies in the workplace
By ANITA BRUZZESE Gannett News Service
If you thought you left bullies behind on the schoolyard, think again. That boss who dogs your trail, criticizing your every move despite your good performance record, is a bully. And the co-worker who works to humiliate you, to demean you in front of others — nothing more than a bully.
"Bullying is a silent epidemic that affects one in six workers," says Gary Namie, a psychology professor at Western Washington University. "It is witnessed by nearly 80% of workers, who don't do anything about it. It's a dirty little secret."
Namie heads up the Campaign against Workplace Bullying. He says studies show that some 41% of those who are bullied are diagnosed with depression; more than 80% said it keeps them from being productive because of severe anxiety, lost concentration and sleeplessness; and 31% of women and 21% of men suffer post-traumatic stress disorder.
"The targets of bullies are often people who are strong and independent and talented and believe that they can tough it out," Namie says. "But once the bullying starts, most can only stay 16.5 months because it costs them their health."
Namie says bullies often target the most talented in the workplace because "the dolts don't threaten anybody." That means if companies fail to stop bullying, they will be faced with a talent drain, decreased productivity and increased healthcare costs.
"Bullying in the workplace is increasing," he says. "Half of the bullies are women. Bullies are often otherwise good people — church deacons or soccer moms — who have gotten cues in the workplace that they need to be aggressive. As long as we are investor-driven at work, then people are being told by top executives they don't care how they get the job done, just as long as they get it done."
Namie says once someone is the target of a bully, he or she may become a victim again and again. That's why it's important to know a few steps you can take if you become the target:
Stop listening to the bully's lies and verbal assaults. You did nothing wrong and don't need to feel ashamed.
Break through your fears for one week at least. Procrastination ensures an outcome worse than the most feared.
Assert your right to be treated with respect regardless of who you are and where you rank.
Demand it directly from the bully whenever you interact. You owe it to yourself.
Document the bully's misconduct. Report him/her to anyone who will listen. Break the silence.
Rally witnesses and co-workers to help defend you, to shame the cowardly bully-tyrant.
Namie says the third week in October is being declared "Freedom from Bullies Week" and anyone who witnesses bullying can take steps to celebrate it by:
Supporting whoever is being targeted.
Preparing and signing a statement telling about the intolerable actions committed by the bully.
Testify at a hearing or meeting on behalf of the person being bullied.
Force the group to talk about what they all see and know to be unacceptable conduct by the bully.
Plan how the group can informally confront and shame the bully, to hold him/her accountable.
Refuse to cooperate with the bully's attempts to turn the group again the target. Don't be a snitch or turncoat. Resist "divide and conquer" tactics.
Break through the fear that you will be the next target. Stop the poisoning now or everyone will suffer.
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Anita Bruzzese is author of "Take This Job and Thrive," (Impact Publications). Write to her c/o: Business Editor, Gannett News Service, 7950 Jones Branch Dr., McLean, Va., 22107. Fr a reply, include a SASE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © 2003
Use of this site signifies your agreement to the Terms of Service.
Send your questions and comments to Gannett Wisconsin Online.
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Don't worry, I get it all the time, I am a driver for a very popular courier service, and just late on Friday night while leaving work, one girl asked me (very rudely), do you think you will be to work on Monday?? I responded to her question with, It's not like I enjoy feeling the way I do, and hopefully I will feel good on Monday! I was at the point of leaving my job too, untill I spoke to a man from the Department of Labor, who informed me that IBS, (colitits) is a chronic condition, and that FMLA (family medical leave act), does cover this condition. Please look into the laws in your state at www.dol.gov and good luck.
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Wow. I got tears in my eyes reading your post. Unfortunately, IBS takes away a lot of our self esteem because we are constantly doubting our ability to have control over our lives. I had a similar situation happen to me at work as well. One of the ladies I teach with asked another coworker what in the world was wrong with me and why did I miss so much work. Of course, I don't have the lack of self esteem problem so I went up to that lady and politely told her that I have IBS, explained what it was (very vividly) and told her why I miss work. I then had a run in with the principal at my school. She gave me the usual "isn't there something you can TAKE for that?" I told her I was doing all I could but please don't harrass me because it's illegal. I have a diagnosed medical condition and from what I understand, as long as I'm doing my job - she just has to take it. Basically, I think a lot of people are fooled into thinking that as long as our illness isn't killing us it can't be that bad. For those people, I talk to them and tell them how bad it really is. Now a days, people at my job ask me how I feel and what they can do for me. It helps a lot with the anxiety. Hope this helps. My advice, talk to them like adults (even though they don't act like it) describe how you suffer and the steps you're taking to help yourself. Ask them to walk a day in your shoes and imagine how it would feel for them to be sick for the rest of their lives. It gets people thinking. Take care.
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When I was 14 my mother was diagnosed with a terminal case of cancer. My father is disabled and we had no income while my mother was undergoing treatment. It was a 3-year battle that she eventually won, much to the amazement of her doctors who at one point gave her 6 hours to live. Needless to say it was stressful on the family and as a result I became the parent. I dealt with the bill collectors and took care of the farm and made sure everything ran smoothly while going to high school. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone else's business. We had no income and lived on food basket donations from local churches for most of the 3-year time. As a result ALL my peers knew my financial situation and many of them would tease me for being poor. The straw that broke my back (when I was 17) was a comment something like "Wish my mom had cancer." As a result of my frustration with the situation and the clear ignorence of my peers, my health teach invited my mother (still undergoing treatment) to speak to the students about cancer, what it is, how she was treated, and what happens to the family unit when one parent is terminally ill. As a result, I received many apologies and if nothing else, some respect. I never heard another word uttered about my mother or financial situation again.
So the point here is that it may do you some good to shed light on what is going on with you. I realize that aspects of IBS are embarassing and you don't always want to talk about it but honestly, knowledge is power. The reason IBS is not treated with the same level of compassion as Cancer or other terrible diseases is the sheer lack of knowledge the general public has on the matter. I often explain it to people as having the worst case of the flu you can imagine only worse and on a daily basis. That often gets some attention.
Best of luck to you! I hope you are able to find some resolution. You may want to consider at least looking for a job that is more flexible and does not require you to be sitting at a phone for hours at a time.
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Thanks so much for the web link! I'm temping with a Fortune 100 company - a "courier" service - not UPS - in their call center and hope to land a perm job there if I can make it thru the probationary period (passed the training last week). EXTREMELY stressful - tied to the phones, scheduled breaks, short lunch. Wondered if I could take it. I've been living on sourdough bread and applesauce and chicken just so I wouldn't miss any days due to illness (3 days during probation and you're disqualified)- only missed one day due to IBS - had to leave at lunch time. I'm praying I get hired because of the benefits. They've actually been very compassionate about my upcoming hysterectomy and have made an exception because I was able to finish the training and get started on the phones. PTL! God knows my needs and He opened this door, and He hasn't shut it YET! I've just decided that until and unless they actually "show me the door", I'm going to keep showing up! SO glad to have the link you provided!
KyAngel, I'll pray for you - you've really been having a rough time, lately! Actually, I think I'll just ask my prayer buddies to include this whole IBS Message Board to the prayer chain! We all need it!
Blessings,
Kaybee C
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