in law tummy
#56279 - 03/30/04 09:55 PM
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Dalia
Reged: 03/14/04
Posts: 79
Loc: London / Tel Aviv / New York
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feeling like crap...getting an attack (gas, nausea choking me etc). Am staying with my lovely in laws in new york city, and there are so cute. they know a lot about healthy eating, but unfortunately not all 'healthy foods' agree with me. They went to so much effort tonight and made me chicken breast schnitzel with whole wheat bread crumbs, gnocchi with wholewheat bread crumbs, salad, asparagus, cocoa based truffles and soy ice cream. that is waaaay to bad a food combination for my belly to deal with. oh I am suffering.
downing the peppermint tea, its already 1am and there is no way i can get into bed with my fiance because of the smells I am making (sorry, but I know you all understand!). feel so unfeminine.
my fiance goes crazy with me as to why I can't just tell people, "I can't have that' etc. but the rules to how to keep my tummy happy get so complicated, and I get so embarrassed and self consious. I just can't sit there and blush beetroot infront of people who have made a special effort to accommodate me. he doesn't understand how I would rather suffer then face things. why can't I just have confidence?
thanks for letting me vent XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Feel the fear, and do it anyway
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Hiya,
I'm sorry you are having a bad attack right now! I can really sympathise with you since I am _living_ with my partner's parents right now and they are NOT good about healthy cooking. We live in England and they like to make only four dishes: Creamy Tomato pasta with shellfish/chicken, pizza and chips, curry, and fish and chips. I can't eat any of it! In the beginning, I was too embarassed to tell them and just kept saying, "I'm not feeling too well, I think I will just make myself some rice".
Eventually, though, I realised that I might feel a lot less stress (and guilt over refusing their offers of dinner) if I just explained it. I didn't go into all the gory details, I just told them I have a stomach disorder that makes it hard for me to digest a lot of foods. I said that when I get a bad flare up of it, I will usually just to stick to rice and plain pasta and potatoes.
Life has been so much easier since I told them! Sometimes they'll still offer me food, but it's when they think it's something I can have. Most of the time, they just let my boyfriend and I make our own dinners (or we offer to cook for everyone) and there is no awkwardness or discomfort.
I know it seems scary to say, "No, I can't eat what you're eating because if I do, I will end up on the toilet all night." They'll probably understand if you say that certain foods just make you really ill, and you have to be very careful.
Good luck, love! I hope you figure out a non-embarassing way to handle it, I'm sure you'll do fine!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I understand what you mean! My boyfriend and I used to eat dinner at his grandparents house every Sunday, but since all my bad attacks lately...we have stopped. This past Sunday she begged us to come over for lunch and asked what we wanted. We requested something with chicken. (his grandma is an AMAZING cook, by the way) We got to their house and she had made a huge salad, green beans with bacon, carrots cooked in butter, chicken and rice with cream of mushroom soup, homemade rolls, coffee cake, AND peach cobbler. It all smelled so good! She had been cooking ALL DAY and she is 82 years old...I couldn't tell her 'oh, no thanks all I can eat are the rolls.' It is extremely embarrassing for me too! I was miserable the rest of the night, but at least I didn't have to make her feel bad I guess! Just hang in there! (I keep immodium and gasx on hand for situations like this, even though I hate to resort to that but if it keeps me from getting bad I am all for it!)
Amanda
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Delia - you're too sweet!
Have confidence my friend! Most people would rather you explain to them why you can't eat something, then feel awful later because you ate it. Before I really was aware of my tummy problems, I would eat something my mom made for dinner and then feel all bloated and gross afterwards, and at times I think that made her feel bad because she thought it might be from her cooking! NOT!!!
Just be very casual about it. Say something like, "Wow, this looks wonderful! I really appreciate you taking the time to make all this food. I would love to eat ALL of this, but I do have some food allergies and they really bother my tummy if I eat what I shouldn't. And I don't want to spoil the rest of our evening together!"
Well, something like that - ha ha! I'm sure you could do better. Hang in there, the more you are open about it, the easier and easier it will be. 
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"Love isn't love, until you give it away!" 
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Here's a funny story from the other side of the fence. When I was in college I lived with my grandmother. One night I wanted to suprise her and make dinner. I made one of my specialties which you'll be appalled to hear involved ground beef, canned tomatoes and canned corn (and elbow macaroni). My sweet grammy tried so hard to pretend she liked it, but I could see that something was wrong. I asked her what and she broke down in tears and told me she had **DIVERTICULITIS** (hear that, Bev) and didn't dare eat canned tomatoes because of the seeds or corn. She wiped her tears away, we laughed and made some scrambled eggs instead!!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Re: in law tummy
#56561 - 03/31/04 02:47 PM
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Dalia
Reged: 03/14/04
Posts: 79
Loc: London / Tel Aviv / New York
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awwww thanks for that!! so cute!
thanks so much for the support everyone!
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Feel the fear, and do it anyway
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