All Boards >> Eating for IBS Diet Board

Posts     Flat       Threaded

Pages: 1 | 2 | (show all)
Trade-in required!
      #4103 - 03/25/03 10:28 PM
KinOz

Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 909
Loc: Brisbane, Australia

Classified Ad!

WANTED
Anyone willing to trade in their body for one that is "slightly malfunctioning".

All applicants will be considered.

For free you will get the following:

- a whopping headache
- a mind like a sieve (this morning I wore odd shoes to the shops)
- hair that does not cope with humidity
- gastritis resulting in severe nausea
- a stomach bloated to ten times it normal size
- a very sensitive colon full of trapped gas
- a set of ovaries unwilling to release even one egg (IVF comes as a bonus "old friend")
- crippling lower backache (thanks to the bloated stomach and sensitive colon)
- a bladder that can sense when a bathroom is not near and instantly becomes "busting"

I am also willing to throw in a range of different sized clothing designed to fit an ever bloating stomach.

I know I'll be rushed off my feet after placing this Ad.

But seriously everyone, sometimes the only way of making it through the day is to make a joke of it!

Kerrie

--------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Comic Relief, one of Shakespeare's better ideas-nt- new
      #4109 - 03/26/03 02:15 AM
ConcreteAngel

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 612
Loc: New Jersey,USA



--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required! new
      #4114 - 03/26/03 02:48 AM
tlc

Reged: 03/06/03
Posts: 207
Loc: Australia

Yes, that did make me chuckle! Especially considering that I"m going through this list and thinking, 'yes' I feel like that tonight!!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required! new
      #4115 - 03/26/03 03:57 AM
mamaraggi

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 19
Loc: Davie, Florida

Hi! If you get any offers, let's see if they'll take mine, too! I'm more than ready for a trade-in or upgrade!!! but seriously, I have IBS-D and today I look pregnant! Yikes! What causes this bloating...I have tried to avoid any and all triggers?
Thanks for the community laugh!
Betsy

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required! new
      #4133 - 03/26/03 07:23 AM
SharonMello

Reged: 01/22/03
Posts: 996
Loc: Groveland, CA

Kerrie - that was great! Have you ever considered a writing career?????

I think almost everyone on this board can relate.

Sharon

--------------------
Sharon
"Anything Chocolate"...that is all!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required!-Any takers yet? new
      #4176 - 03/26/03 04:21 PM
Peanut

Reged: 02/09/03
Posts: 182
Loc: England

I just wanted to say NICE ONE!! Needed a laugh today and that was perfect!

Sheri

--------------------
So much baking, so little time.....

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required! new
      #4203 - 03/26/03 11:24 PM
louise

Reged: 02/05/03
Posts: 836
Loc: canada

I SURE DON'T BLAME YOU FOR PUTTING UP THE "ad", many times i have wanted to have a new stomach too. even sometimes wishing for some kind of operation to fix things for me(albeit inpractical).

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Trade-in required! new
      #4349 - 03/27/03 10:25 PM
juniorrachel

Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 140
Loc: St. Louis, MO

i totally know what you mean! today i was crying and told my boy "i just wish i could step outside of this body for a while"

hang in there, we'll all make it

beth

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: We Got a Candidate! new
      #4358 - 03/28/03 02:17 AM
ConcreteAngel

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 612
Loc: New Jersey,USA

I was talking to my best friend Danielle the other day, and she was telling me that she wishes she could be sick and get all the attention and have people worrying about her. She told me that she would trade health with me any day of the week, just so she could stay home from school, get all the attention, and people worry about her. If only I could take her up for that bargin

--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: We Got a Candidate! new
      #4433 - 03/28/03 03:36 PM
SharonMello

Reged: 01/22/03
Posts: 996
Loc: Groveland, CA

Angela - is she nutso??? Does she know how awful you feel sometimes? That's like making a deal with the devil!!!

Sharon

--------------------
Sharon
"Anything Chocolate"...that is all!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Pages: 1 | 2 | (show all)

Extra information
0 registered and 6099 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  Heather 

Print Thread

Permissions
      You cannot post until you login
      You cannot reply until you login
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 1776

Jump to

| Privacy statement Help for IBS Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2


HelpForIBS.com BBB Business Review