What can I do about it?
#334702 - 08/17/08 07:28 AM
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So my mom wanted me to be somewhere at 10:30am. Mornings are the worst for me because when I wake up I start bloating up. Then needing to drink tea all day and take supplements,running to the bathroom cuz of ibs, running to pee all day begins...Everyone got mad at me and said you have ibs everyday you just have to live with it. My mom's bf who has pnemoia right now is going and said hes having a touch time, why can't i just go too. I feel ibs is diffrent and the problems are alot worse than going somewhere with phemonia? Am I wrong? I'd be at the lake with an outhouse. What am I supposed to do, bring a gallon of water and all my supplements and some dial soap so I can run to the lake and rinse the poop off my hands? I'm really frustrated everyone is hounding on me all the time about how I can't go anywhere and I hate myself for never being able to go anywhere. I can barly make it at work from 5-11pm...
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I don't know that I really have a good answer for you, but it's something we've all experienced at one time or another. It sounds like you really need to have a good sit-down with your family and try to describe to them what a typical day for you is like, and how their harassment stresses you out more and exacerbates your symptoms. They are only hurting you with what they're saying, and they're not being at all compassionate. Someone posted a link on this message board at one time to a great "brochure" that was made especially for giving to friends and family of those with IBS, as a way to help them understand what we go through. Hopefully someone knows what I'm talking about and will chime in. But I think the important thing is talking to them and trying to get them to understand. If they love you, they'll listen and learn to support you. But maybe they honestly just don't understand how YOU feel, and what, if anything, they can even do to help.
Good luck!
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Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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I think it may be at www.ibsgroup.org. If I can find it, I'll post the link.
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IBS-C
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http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.shtml
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IBS-C
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Definately talk to your family.Explain a typical day of your life.My family was the same way and now they understand it's really hard for me to go places spur of the moment.
If you would like to go to the lakehouse let me suggest some things to help.
First eat really safe food.Maybe wait til you get there.
Take lots of Imodium.take your own toilet paper(I never leave home without my own roll, just in case we have to stop at the side of the road.and I'm not the only one to benefit from this)
Take a jug of water to wash your hands.Not really that unreasonable when you use an outhouse.
Drive yourself so that you are in control of how fast,how slow you go or if you need to pull over.
Don't set a time to leave,go when you feel the best.
I find that for me the biggest problem is getting there.Once we get to where we are going,I'm usually fine.
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. You don't need to give them an excuse.Thats called boundries.You can say no without telling anyone why.
Be strong and I hope you can figure out a way to go and enjoy yourself.
People that don't have bowel issues just don't understand what it is like.I can go anywhere I need to when just sick,but if my bowels are acting up...NO WAY!
Good luck.
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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The above is the link to the IBS self help group and Molly's brochure on explaining IBS.
Also from Mike the same as Mike's tapes on the HT forum is a non HT short and excellent recording on
"IBS Companion - CD or Cassette (Non-hypnosis)
An informative and instructive guide about IBS for the non-sufferer.
Click here for a sample from the IBS Companion CD
Requires Windows Media Player
For friends and family of IBS sufferers.
All to often, we forget that IBS not only affects the sufferer, it can have a detrimental effect on the lives of those around the sufferer. Holidays and days out might often be cancelled or restricted. It is not easy having IBS, it is not easy supporting an IBS sufferer either. This short recording is easy to understand explaining the symptoms, common fears, and the explorative tests that IBS sufferers have to go through to be diagnosed as having IBS. For those around the sufferer, it will provide insight into this most troublesome condition. For the IBS sufferer it can be a good source of explaining IBS when you have tried or you are tired of explaining it to others. With gentle soothing background music this recording adds to seeing both sides of the IBS equation. Recorded by Michael Mahoney, known by many sufferers for his gentle, patient approach and for his support in helping IBS sufferers and partners too.
Available on CD or Cassette. Recorded Time 19:01"
http://www.ibsaudioprogram.com/new_audio_titles.htm
This is the only audio of this kind and is really excellent for both IBSers and non IBSers.
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My website on IBS is www.ibshealth.com
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they know what my day is like because they live with me..
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omg. I've never told my bf I have ibs. Our work schedules make it so I have to request a day off to see him or If I happen to get a day off when he only works till 7pm(he lives out of town and has to babysit alot and such..) So I'd always get up extra early to deal with ibs,or it would be taken care of or most of it,by the time he got off work...so he's never found out... Maybe I should just say I have ibs and I spend everyday all day before work dealing with it and I can't really travel, then hand him the brocure?
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I think you should definitely talk to your BF about this! Especially if it's a serious relationship, and it sounds like it is. As for your family, just because they live with you doesn't mean they fully understand and appreciate the physical AND emotional aspects of IBS. They may SEE you every day, but they can't know what's going on inside your body or your head unless you explain it to them. A good heart-to-heart can still help. Sounds like they would benefit from the brochure (and/or the recording, which I had forgotten about) too!
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Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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