Advice needed....hello again
#329202 - 05/01/08 11:27 AM
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AndrewIBSC
Reged: 03/23/07
Posts: 159
Loc: PHiladelphia, PA
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Hello everyone,
I have not been on the boards for about a month now and am still seeking answers. I am really getting scared because my wife is 8 months pregnant and I still am symptomatic. I was religiously on the diet for a year and the anxiety that came with it was not worth the benefits it was providing. I am quite confused and would appreciate if someone that is stable could answer some of the questions I was never able to answer. I am really scared that this illness will prevent me from being the father I want to be. At times I feel like this illness makes me act like I have never acted.
1. What is stable? Heather seems to infer that stable means to be completely asymptomatic but others on the board seem to think that it merely means the symptoms are more manageable. When I stick to the diet I feel confused because out of a week I will have 4 or five "good days" and then 3 or 4 that are "not good." Is this stable. Before I stopped the diet I would tell my wife that I was better but still not well. I told her that I felt like before the diet I was a parapalegic and after the diet I felt like I was hopping on one leg. Heather, anyone, can you please define what stable is or at least what to expect.
2. I am IBS-C and Heather says that IF should not be used to control constipated. When I slip into the bad days I get constipated and my hemorrhoids flare, which makes me extremely uncomfortable. I get shaky with blurred vision and extremely anxious with a feeling that I need to go but can't. When I get to this point instinctually I want to increase my IF but feel like I am not adhering to the diet and that I am attempting to control my C with IF. When I get to this point what do I do? I get so confused…increase SF, IF, etc?
3. How much IF do some of the stable people eat? When I felt better I would increase my IF and would be doing well with it and then I would feel guilty even if I wouldn't have symptoms. When I would increase I would get anxiety because I felt like I was going against the principles of the diet and not really know how much some people eat? If I get C when I increase does it make sense to cut back or increase my SF? This is very confusing to me.
4. Finally, I used to never stray from the diet. However, when I felt like it was no longer worth the effort because I was still symptomatic I resorted to the only solution I knew. I mentioned how I would get shaky and C with a feeling that my body wants to eliminate but can't. My eyes water and I get extremely physically anxious. As weird as it sound my solution became to eat trigger foods in extremely large amounts. I mean extreme amounts. I did it this morning and ate the following: soy yogurt, snickers bar, 100 grand candybar, 6 oreos, a donut, and six chocolate chip cookies. Keep in mind that I did not even touch a trigger for a year. Now because I don't know how to handle it when I get C for a couple of days I binge eat. The worse part……it works I will have a completely normal BM and will feel absolutely physically fine. This is not the way I want to be but it reinforces that thought that hides in the back of my mind that this is all in my head.
I would appreciate advice from those who believe they can steer me in the right direction. Heather, if you are out there I have asked your opinion before but you must not been on the boards those days. I have read both of your books, done hypnosis, and adhered faithfully to the diet but these questions continue to prevent me from living a happy fulfilling life. Please help me so that I may raise a child the way that I know I can when I feel well. I am in tears right now and would love to have these answered so that I may renew my faith. Thank you for your precious time, Andrew
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Hi Andrew:
I read your post and feel the way you do. I have tried just about everything....and still am close to being disabled many days. I did end up having to quite my job that I loved.
I have found a website which you may have some interest in. It's www.evolveability.com. On the first page on the right side there are several links....under the link "Dr Paulson's hypnotic protocol" you may find a therapist in your area. I know you said you have tried hypnosis, but was it by a professional???? I am looking at one in my area right now and she is covered under my insurance. I get so bad that I often wonder if a colostomy is an option....anyway, I won't go on and on but I really, really understand.
Sharon
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I never had C with the accompanying symptoms like you described, but I can sure relate to how hemorrhoids can really mess with a person's mind. I have gone through that SO much. How can you relax and act like a normal person when all you can think about is that your b*TT is on fire?
The pain, irritation, frustration.... I hate it! And I am so apt to be on the fringe of getting irritation or a hem. flareup, it's like walking a tightrope.
I don't have any answers for you. I am finally better, and am not sure why. I was having a bad flareup right before I went in for a colonoscopy, and then got immediately better afterwards. Lord knows why.
I know my thyroid medicine finally kicked in just recently---low thyroid can make you constipated. Plus I upped the Natural Calm to 1 tsp. and the acacia powder to 1 tsp---which I take at bedtime.
I don't even follow the IBS diet, because I don't eat gluten or onions or garlic. And no dairy, no coffee, etc. etc. So it's Worse than the IBS diet, I guess.
Best of luck with the new baby coming... it'll be a whole new kind of stress, but mixed with an amazing portion of Wonder and Love. Try not to worry about being a good father---you WILL be.
C
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Here is a concoction I use when I feel a hem. flareup coming on. I know it sounds strange, but if I start it immediately the hemmmies are usually gone in no time. I take a Tucks Pad and stick it in my butt then sit in warm bathtub for a while. Next I take a wheat germ capsule, break it open and mix with Nature's Way Bone, Flesh and Cartilage. Then put then around anus and a little inside. Sometimes I use just the oil from the capsule,,,,just prick the capsule open and stick that in anus and squeeze out the oil. You can get the Bone, Flesh and Cartilage and Wheat Germ Capsules at Health Foods Store. Then when I feel I'm going to have a BM stick a wad of vaseline up my butt so there is lubrication. This works 90% of the time for me....especially is you start the minute you feel one coming on.
Sharon
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You're especially right to point out that you have to get after the hem. treatment as soon as you feel the slightest indication that a hem. is starting---very important. And oil lubrication and protection both internally and externally, really helps.
For me, I find that warm water soaking makes it worse---so I use an ice cube in a baggy right away---and this heads off the problem. The only time I use warm water (as compresses) is if I am having trouble with a spasm (and pain) after evacuation. I had this really bad with a fissure last year.
One of my problems is that fecal matter from incomplete movements stays in the lower rectum, putting pressure and causing an "irritated feeling" to always be present in the anus, whether there's hem. or not. I hate that feeling! Not pain, but just a constant reminder of "my butt," so I don't have a moment's peace when I'm not thinking about IT.
C
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Advice for a new Dad- quit worrying over the type of dad you will be. Babies don't come with instruction manuals and that means you learn on the job just as the baby is learning. My husband was so concerned about being a good dad. We have 2 girls in their teens now and they have shown him the way all along. Worry about paying bills,(kids are expensive little creatures :-), being a dad will develop and you'll love it as they love you unconditionally (till they are teenagers).
On the IBS side- You have to find a way to ease your worrying as that is only causing the issues to get worse. I do yoga before going to work. I also get a full nights sleep regularly otherwise the IBS "yells" at me and I'm constipated and hurting.
"Stable" may be what you are personally able to live happily with. I'm fairly stable but I'm a bit C today from something I ate 2 days ago. Time for the Miralax which I used to take daily and now only use once every few weeks at most. Actually it's been even longer this time around which is great for me. That's my version of stable, I can function and live well more days than not.
The more IF that I have the more C I am. That is totally the opposite of what we have been taught. I've been eating a lot of veggies this week. Oddly, I like them but they don't like me. I use 1 tblsp of Acacia at each meal. I used to use 1 tsp and didn't see any progress. After one of Heather's recent newsletter on the 7 sins of IBS I learned that I wasn't using enough to make a true difference for me. Once I upped the dosage life was much better. Because of the C feeling today I cooked some "sticky rice" in my rice cooker (while I took my shower and got ready for work) and mixed that with the acacia, cinnamon, ground walnuts, a few raisins and some brown sugar with soy milk. Lots of SF with protein and some IF from the nuts and raisins. Yummy, filling and soothing along with a cup of hot peppermint tea. I make a pot of that at a time so it's always available and fast for the morning. Don't increase your IF but do increase the SF when C. It will help you retain the fluid in the gut and coat the bowel so the harder stool doesn't rub it raw.
If anxiety seems to be a norm for you daily, you may want to talk to your doctor or see a therapist. I started on zoloft for hormone issues and found out that it helped with the anxiety that would happen in stressful situations. It also showed me that I had had a low level of depression since my pregnancies. Life's not perfect but I'm able to handle things better than I used to and I'm happy.
Cravings for food is your body's way of trying to find something to make it work. It leads you to eat all sorts of stuff good or bad. Most of the time just laying down and resting with a heating pad on the belly can help relieve things as your gut relaxes. I eat when I'm over tired and needing more energy but I'm not actually hungry.
This is where some help may get you on track. Is IBS a mental thing? No, but it does cause you to question stuff so much over time that you're not sure what is right and that is a mental thing.
Cut yourself some slack as far as the diet goes. My husband feels he has to exercise every day or else his blood pressure and cholesterol will go back up. He is beside himself on the days he can't do his walking or weights. That in itself can cause issues. His doctor says he's in great shape and to quit worrying so much. Nothing is perfect for every person. Follow the diet but if you see things that work or don't work for you then alter it. Life will be so much easier and you'll be happier. You sound like you have the perfectionist streak in you. Much of my family, me included, is like that. You have to learn that it's ok to draw outside the lines. Congrats on the baby to be. It's a big responsiblity to bring another human being into the world but it's also an amazing experience. My husband has learned a lot about what's really important, like singing to them, cuddling with them, being silly, playing Barbies and dressing up because it made them happy and giggle a lot. Enjoy it all girl or boy.
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Catnut IBS-C for many years, finally diagnosed in 2005. Wheat and dairy sensative.
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Hi Calli:
I know what you mean about incomplete evacuation and having that feeling in the anus...Many times I have a general discomfort in the rectum....like the stool is still sitting above that area just waiting to drop and I cannot get any movement. This can happen even after having a BM. I did have a defacology test and that showed the anal sphincter did not relax enough and to see a physical therapist. I spoke to her on the phone first and have made an appointment. She is a pelvic floor specialist and works with rectal issues with great success. She has a treatment plan for these sort of rectal issues. She also told me that she has never met anyone who suffers from constipation who doesn't have pelvic floor issues. Anyway, just a thought.
Sharon
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Hey Catnut,
I've got to be honest. I've stayed away from this board because of the ridiculous advice that is sometimes posted. However, I found your advice to be quite sound. I spoke to my wife who is usually my soundboard and while I am somewhat stable when I get C I usually increase the IF not the SF. I am going to try it and also manage with Natural Calm and Miralax as needed. One question when you increase the SF do you do it through food or a SFS? Again thanks I do appreciate good advice. Take care, Andrew
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Thanks for the comment, Sharon. I guess I never really connected pelvic floor with the problem. I could definitely be lacking in muscle tone there. And I have had that anal sphincter spasm in the past----what a trial! It took me many months to get back to semi-normal.
I think there's a lot to be said for what physical therapy can do and many thanks for pointing that out. This could really be a key to relief for C sufferers.
C
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Hi Andrew,
Sorry I haven't responded sooner but I haven't been on the board since last week. I'm glad I could help. This is a crazy symptom filled illness and you just have to keep at it. I have found the Acacia to help a lot. It's not a miracle powder but it has made a significant difference. Just keep adding the SF foods and it should help over time. Give your insides time to heal.
One other thing I was thinking about was how you eat all the candy and stuff and then have a movement. I know from experience that, that sort of reaction is due to the irritation caused in the gut. It's making it spasm and you go but the problem is that now you have an irritated gut from all the IF stuff you ate. That just makes the issue worse. This problem really takes a lot of strength to work on each day.
I have to go on a visit to some extended family today and I know that they will offer things I can't eat. I'll have to refuse, explain, deal with their confusion over how give me something to eat(as it is required in my family) and that will cause some hurt feelings etc. etc. But, I'll deal with that rather than be sick for a week trying to get my grumpy gut calmed down again.
Congrats to you and your wife on the baby to be. You'll love being a Dad.
Hope things get better for you healthwise. Catnut
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Catnut IBS-C for many years, finally diagnosed in 2005. Wheat and dairy sensative.
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