No support from family
#323338 - 01/27/08 03:33 PM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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How do you deal with your family when they don't support you when you get sick? My husband/parents and siblings say that I get sick because of my sins (in a religious way). My husband reminded me of that today and I got very upset. I mean, my period just started and I am battling bladder infection and on top of that I have to go through emotional stuff. Is your family supportive?
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
Edited by TATYANA (01/27/08 04:32 PM)
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Tatyana,
What do you mean your "sins?" Do you mean cheating and eating unsafe foods, or are you saying they mean "sins" in a religious sense? If it's the second one, it sounds to me like an issue that is deeper than these Boards. I hope you know that you don't "deserve" to have IBS. And I hope you start to feel more support from your family. IBS is hard enough on its own.
Take care,
Jen
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Tatyana, I'm sorry your family is unsupportive. I agree with Jen, nobody "deserves" to have IBS. If the word "sins" is meant in a religious way, I would probably reply something like "God puts the ones he especially loves through additional hardship". IF your family is very religious they should also believe that God loves everyone unconditionally, no?
It would probably be helpful if they were more educated about IBS. Would they perhaps consider reading Heather's book?
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IBS-C, bloating, cramps
pregnant 
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Thanks, girls. They mean it in a religious way. Every time my IBS flares up or I break my knee or get a bladder infection, this is what I get: "You should go to church more often", "Confess your sins", "pray for healing"....
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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First of all, I am a Christian and there is no way in hell that people suffer because they are "bad". What kind of Loving Father would do that to His kids?
Do you think all the little kids who get cancer are sinners and that's why they are ill?
Job never sinned and look at what happened to him!
Sure, sin is a big part of why the world suffers but it's not as exclusive as you sin therefore God punishes you with cancer.
No wonder you're stressed out! If I thought God, who helps me through really tough times, was punishing me I'd feel worse too.
Tell hubby to get real and tell him that he's blaspheming when he says God is punishing you. God Loves us all and we suffer here on earth because of sin coming into the world. Everyone, good or bad, Holy or not Holy, suffers and that's a fact. Sooner or later your hubby will have to deal with that and it will be a harsh lesson for him to learn.
I suggest you talk to your priest about it...see if he can make your husband understand that what he says is not only wrong, it's blasphemy.
Offer up your suffering for those who suffer in the world. Jesus suffered and so did Mary and they never sinned once.
Also, I strongly suggest you talk to hubby about his attitude. If he can't accept that you are ill through no fault of your own then perhaps some marriage counselling might help.
I couldn't stay around someone who was constantly berating me and telling me my illness was because of "sins".
Do talk to a Priest about it or perhaps some Nuns. Or maybe get your Dr to talk to your hubby and family.
This is a real illness. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and don't wait on any of them either. Tell them your so-called sin illness has made you far too ill to wait on their lazy selves.
Hang in there.
P.S IF you are able to go to a Church that has a toilet in case you need it it can be very helpful but if your Church is not supportive Pray for another one that you can go to. Not all Christians are narrow minded.
Edited by Wheresthedamnloo (01/27/08 06:05 PM)
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Thank you
#323640 - 01/31/08 11:59 AM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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Thank you ladies so much for your support. You don't know what it means to me when I hear negative things around me all the time, to get support here.
Again, thank you.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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