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Anybody that isn't okay with you having to deal with IBS in whatever way necessary isn't worth troubling over. If you find someone you care about and can see some sort of future with that person, tell them what's going on. If they are understanding and supportive, good for them. If they aren't, walk away. Don't be embarrassed about gas or any other symptoms. Especially the gas. I've yet to find a man that didn't pass gas with pride. LOL.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I've found that honesty - scary as it is - is better than hiding. Heck, I've had attacks that have ended abruptly just by my admitting that I was feeling crappy. And I've driven myself into attacks by trying to "behave normally".
As for sex...if I'm feeling bad, I'm not in the mood. If I'm feeling good, I try not to stress about what I look like because I know women are brainwashed to compare themselves with airbrushed models. I try to concentrate on what I feel from the inside, not what I look like on the outside. Outside of my stupid abusive ex, no man ever dissed me about my belly bloat, which was pretty bad pre-Heather.
--AC
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Thank you for posting. I try not to get embarrassed by the gas, but it is much easier said that done. This is the main reason why I don't socialize much let along try to get a boyfriend. I have tried to find guys on the Internet who have IBS or IBD, becasue I feel maybe they would be more understanding. But it seems those guys or at least the ones I have met either in person or through e-mail are just not interested in a relationship. It seems they are more scared than I am. At least I am willing to take some sort of a chance with an IBSer. I find I am not as comfortable being with "normal" guys. I do know I need to find a way to get past this.
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Hello,
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2003. The diagnosis came about a week after I started dating my now fiance. I hid my violent episodes of D from him in the beginning when we went out on our first few dates by loading up on immodium. But once I knew what my diagnosis was I just decided to be upfront with him and tell him everything. As it turns out his Grandma has chrohn's disease so he was somewhat familar with IBD.
I haven't really had any issues with sex and ulcerative colitis. As others have mentioned of course if I'm having a D attack then obviously we won't have sex but I mean there's always cuddling.
I think the important thing is to not let the IBS control your life. The right guy will accept you for who you are as a person and not care about the IBS. Jenn
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I had a very not-so-understanding ex-husband. I am very thankful everyday that I have met a wonderful man who is more devoted to finding a solution to my IBS than I am. Not that it bothers him or inconveniences him, because he knows how much pain I am in most of the time. It was very difficult at first to even think of telling him about my "problem". But once I got the nerve up, it was amazing. He now tells me "let it rip" even though I won't in front of him. He is a very reserved type of guy so this was a big shock to me. But he knows that if it does happen, it's not my fault. He says he would rather me be embarrassed a little then to be in pain. If the person you are with is the right one, then he/she will understand EVERTHING about you.
-------------------- Angela
IBS-D and C
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I can so relate to your episode in the bathroom. I have been married for18 year. My IBS was beginning when I met my now husband. I used to pretend to take a bath when I was really on the toilet with D. Using the tub to mask the amount of time I was in the bathroom. Now my husband is used to my endless hours in the bathroom. I keep a radio in there though to at least do what I can to keep the noice down. As for sex, it is not very often. Who can feel sexy when your butt has been exploding for hours. Even though my husband has always complimented by shape and my butt, I ask him how he can be attracted to the part of my body that does such horrible things.
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How did you exactly tell him? Did you go into actual details when you explained it to him? Or did you just say you have IBS and let him thing whatever that meant to him?
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Are you ever gassy at night while you are sleeping? I know I must be, because if I get up and am groggy through the night, I know I am gassy and need to let it out.
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Have you tried the hypno yet?
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I have had the hypno tapes for a long time. I started the first one and two tapes but never get much farther than that. I seems to fall asleep in the middle of it and then try to redo it the next night, so I can actually listen to what he is saying but end up falling asleep again or not paying attention to it. Now, I have not listened to it for a while. I should start again.
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