Need advice on a situation here at work....(m)
#2577 - 03/12/03 08:56 AM
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Nugget
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 2167
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We have a general manager here who a few of us girls have caught looking at pornography on his computer. We hadn't caught him for quite a while until yesterday afternoon. It kind of bothers me and the rest of us who have caught him. How do we...or should we...approach the president who is in charge of the general manager about this matter. It's a very small company...not like a corporation or anything...the president is real easy to talk to and get along with.
Any suggestions? The other thing that bothers me is his computer is visible by customers when they come in the door. What would happen if a customer saw what was on his screen? And...he is very involved in his church.
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I'd say whatever he's doing, it should be in his private time and not at work - if the president is easy to talk to, either find a quiet time to speak to him or get the colleague with the most nerve to handle it. Good luck
Sarah
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Sarah
Looking for inspiration...
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Just a quick couple of comments: your co-worker's looking at pornography at work, where female colleagues can see it, could be considered sexual harassment if he continues after he's been "outed" for his behavior. (Has this happened before, and does he know he's been observed?) Viewing pornography can also be a sign of a sexual addiction, and if he's doing this at work, he may be having a very difficult time controlling and hiding his behavior - and for sex addicts, the behavior tends to escalate in relation to the stress / disconnection in their lives. Sex addicts also often like to take risks. Or, he may just be a jerk. But, if you don't mind, and I hope I don't offend anyone here, you mentioned his church - I assume it's a Christian church, or you would have said temple, mosque, Kingdom Hall, etc. The odds are great that this man has been able to hide his use of pornography from his church "family" - he may not be as connected there as you think. It's a vicious, secret life - and it's miserable, for the addict and the people who love him or her  . A healthy church, if they knew about this problem, would go to him, ask him to enter into an accountability relationship with other men, and also get counseling. There is a great book written by Stephen Arterburn, from New Life Ministries (newlife.com), called "Every Man's Battle". The author conducts "EMB" seminars around the country and your co-worker may be aware of the book / seminar. If you have compassion for this man, perhaps you could consider chipping in and buying a copy and leaving it on his desk. If he is open to it, he might be helped by calling 1-800-NEW-LIFE, to find a counselor in his area (the company's owner might require him to get the counseling as a condition of keeping his job). We tend to think of people who view porn as just "sickos" or "perverts" who could stop if they wanted to, but the truth is, from the first look, a great guy can become hooked - and it's almost impossible to heal without help and accountability. Hope no one minded this reply!
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