Boyfriend moving in... you know what that means
#220943 - 10/24/05 10:43 AM
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fishnets
Reged: 10/09/03
Posts: 515
Loc: MA
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That means I need to be symptom free!! And I need some C people to help me. I've said in a couple other posts that I'm pretty stable, but when I say that I don't mean totally. I'm able to not take an SFS anymore, and I eat pretty much what I want (except try to eat lowish fat, and avoid whole grains). Because of this eating with abandon, I do get a little gas and bloating, but I consider it worth it. For example I love apples, and I eat them (with the peels) like twice a day, no soluble fiber with it...so it does give me gas/bloating, but it's not enough that makes me not want to eat them. Except now my boyfriend is going to be moving in, and I can't be having "managable" gas and bloating, I need to have none! So I need some help reeling myself back into the diet a bit.
I'm not sure if I should watch my diet better, or start taking an SFS again, I feel like I probably wouldn't have to do both. I'm wondering what would be more annoying...eating more strictly, or having to take fiber drinks each day.
I dunno, can I get some C people to remind me of some smarter choices of eating? I eat too much insoluble!
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IBS-C
Edited by fishnets (10/24/05 10:44 AM)
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As long as you aren't C, then I don't understand the problem. None of us are ever completely free of gas and bloat, boyfriend, husband or whoever lives with us doesn't cure that! And if this is the "real" thing, and longterm, he better get used to gas, bloat and everything else....comes with the package when you are IBS.
I don't mean to be short or opinionated, but just because he's moving in doesn't mean your gas and bloat are going anywhere no matter what you eat, don't eat, take, don't take...you might improve it some, but if you have IBS, you're stuck with it and so is he. Actually, sharing your home with him might make it worse since stress comes with with the package of sharing your life with someone...I guess I'm "venting" because I wouldn't want anyone living with me that couldn't accept me like I was. IBS and all.
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God is Faithful!
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I'm sorry, but you can't cure IBS. You're still going to have the occasional attack and bloating, etc. Your boyfriend does know this, right? If not, you can either tell him now or he's going to find out ASAP!
I think you know what to do to be more stable. If you like the apples, have some soluble fiber with them or peel them or both. Make sure you are drinking lots of fennel tea and peppermint tea if you don't have acid. Have some sort of stress relief program. Exercise daily.
At least for me, there's nothing that brings on an attack quicker than trying to hide my IBS!
--AC
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Yeah, I mean I know he's not going to care if I'm bloated or whatever, I know it's stupid cause I know he loves me, but I just feel paranoid about stuff like that around him! I'm very self concious about all those kinds of things. I guess I just feel nervous. I only recently told him I have IBS, but I told him I don't have the bowel symptoms(lol I'm sure he knows I do but am just self concious, he's not dumb). I've never in my life farted infront of him, and I'm just wondering what will happen if we're living together and I have an attack  I guess I'm really just venting too, cause I don't expect anyone here to fix me.
Oh and I hate fennel tea and can't have peppermint(GERD).
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IBS-C
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I'm not an expert at co-habitation, but I'm not that far away from where you are now, either.
To put it bluntly: you're going to fart in front of him... eventually, it's going to happen  lol. I totally understand where you're coming from though with the paranoia and the self-consciousness (gawd, when we moved in together just using the bathroom - and uh, the "noises" - was terribly of stressful for me! I got over that one pretty quickly, heh).
All I'm saying though is that you'll get used to each other's smells and noises and problems and ideosyncracies and such pretty quickly. Maybe not capital-R "Romance" but really, it brings you closer (in a funny, smelly, silly kind of way, lol). And I'm sure he'll be understand (and probably be very helpful and consoling) when you have symptoms - and I'm sure he'll be ok with it. IBS is embarassing, but I've found having someone I can share that embarassment (to a certain extent - i.e. a person I know in person, not just you guys on the boards!) is really helpful. Like, my partner is the person I don't have to worry about being embarassed in front of, and that's a huge stress removed for me. Certainly, it took time to get to this comfortable place - but you WILL get there. It's kind of inevitable, because everyone gets sick at some point and everyone farts and everyone's bodies do gross things etc... and when you live with someone, you get to see that, like it or not 
...lol ok I bet I'm just really selling you on the whole romantic living together thing here aren't I? LOL Really. It's wonderful. You'll see 
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Think about it this way:
If you've ever been front spoon, chances are you've not just farted in front of him, but farted ON him in your sleep. My boyfriend tells me this is extremely amusing....
Try not to worry about it. Boys know we fart. They love it because they get to hassle us about it when it happens. And then they get to fart in front of you, and everyone's more comfortable. And farting is still hilarious, no matter how old I get.
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*Emma*
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Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm the same as you about never wanting to fart in front of a guy. My parents have been married 35 years and I know they keep their private business private, and excuse themselves to another room or the bathroom if they are gassy. I've never lived permanently with a bf but have traveled a ton and visited a lot, and I can say gas-x is a life saver. I have probably 8 -10 a day and they are excellent. Try that, see if it helps. Watch out because some of the brands contain sorbitol, so if you're sensitive to artificial sweeteners you might want to avoid that.
I don't have your post in front of me so can't remember if you can't have fennel or just don't like it. If it's the latter, I reccommend adding a bunch of honey or even another flavor of herbal tea bag (not peppermint because of your gerd) and seeing if you can take it in that way. It's pretty helpful.
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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So has he ever farted in front of you? Eaten something off and had to spend the evening in the toilet? If he hasn't, well, lucky for him; otherwise, don't hold yourself to higher standards than he holds himself to!
Women are human beings and we have digestive systems. Anyone who doesn't accept that should live far from other people.
--AC
p.s. Try mixing fennel with other herbs - you can barely taste it if you have strong enough teas. A fruit tea from Celestial Seasonings might be a great mixer!
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Hey, I just dealt with this issue a couple days ago! My boyfriend knows about my IBS, & is totally supportive. Well, the other day, he accidentlly knocked his head on a cupboard, & in response to the pain, he laughed. Well, he laughed just hard enough to let one out right in front of me, he was totally embarassed. I just held him & laughed.
After I let him go, he left the room laughing, & then came back. He hadn't gotten over it. So I let him know that I had let one go earlier while we were cuddelling just to console him. It's just a part of life. I've found that the
more you tell a person, the more they are able to accept it. It just makes it easier to deal w/ if your up front about it. He's goona have to deal with it!! Sometimes it's easier if you can just joke about it. Give it a try!! Kee
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Kiwi
IBS-C
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This reminds me of an episode of "Sex in the City" where there's a lot of "taboos" adressed. Carrie farts in front of Big. There's also a bathroom door open/shut sequence with Miranda and co. (I still adore that show!!!)
I guess the point is to a.) be honest/up front and to have a sense of humour about it all.
Also, ENZYMES, Beano, Gas-X, Fennel Tea, Immodium, etc., etc. are effective. Ditto for hypno., yoga, some exercise that appeals to you...
Doesn't it feel GOOD to successfully follow Heather's diet guidelines, as well? It can definitely make a huge difference in the number of attacks and the recovery time.
Best wishes,
Kate, IBS-D.
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Hi Amanda, Are you saying that Gas-x prevents farting!? I
thought it just acted on stomach gas? -Bob
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<img src="http://www.math.mtu.edu/~rwkolkka/BritPicA.jpg">
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I find that my boyfriend has no problems with any of it... we actually laugh a lot about my little 'pooping problems' and find little ways to make everything light hearted... for example, I take miralax daily and sometimes he asks if he can make me up my 'butt juice'... it's really funny to us! We are not immature at all, but a sense of humour and knowledge that this is all natural really helps out. Laugh a lot! That's my advice:)
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IBS-A
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Fishnets - it's all about comfort. If your BF loves you, he won't mind um... the odd gaseous explosion if you know what I mean. My husband is quite impressed that I can fart better than he can. Try not to worry. Remember, he loves you.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Thanks for all your responces guys  I've only ever made "bodily noise" infront of a guy like, once, so I'm not the type that knows how to be silly with it! He's actually the same way, he refuses to ever fart infront of people. But I know obviously he wouldn't be horrified by me if it happened. Thanks for being so supportive guys
thepurplelolly- I'm always the front spoon! lol!
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IBS-C
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I second that
#221172 - 10/25/05 11:38 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and he's not only seen me through some of the worst attacks you can imagine, but we're totally comfortable having conversation about poop and farting and the whole 9 yards. In fact, I think he thinks it's pretty cool that I'm so nonchalant about the whole thing - it's like I'm one of the guys. We're all human, you know, and our bodies all do the same things sooner or later, LOL!
He loves you. It won't be an issue, honest.
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O.K. girl, trust me, i know EXACTLY where you are. And I'm not going to tell you "Oh just fart in front of him, he'll get used to it yada yada yada" b/c the truth is, for some people, its harder to just be up front about that kind of stuff. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and he has NO IDEA that I have IBS. He simply thinks I have a sensitive tummy .. but anytime I have an attack (which isnt often b/c I'm a C) he thinks it makes me throw up, not poop. Hahah for some reason, telling him that I'm puking seemed more .. acceptable, than telling him I'm pooping. He loves me very much, and would never even think about breaking up or anything like that if I told him I had IBS, but I still don't. So far, hiding it has been easier for me. If the day comes that I just can't do it anymore, then sure, he'll find out. But for right now ..
- I hold my toots when I feel em' coming, or I make up some excuse to run to the other room, or pretend I'm throwing something away so I can let it out somewhere else.
- I wear longer t-shirts or jackets when I'm feeling bloated
- I drink TONS of hot Fennel tea (It really does help with BOTH gas and bloating)
- And last .. I look forward to bed time so I can toot my troubles away alllll night long!
I know its difficult to just come right out and talk about all of this. And I DEFINITELY know what you mean about not wanting to fess up to the "bowel issues" of IBS. But like I said, I just say it makes me throw up. And yeah, I'm being dishonest, and yeah, relationships are built on trust and honesty and all that good stuff ... but, I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable enough with all of that stuff to spill the beans quite yet. And you don't have to be either!! Do what you are ready to do.
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Than
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I'm sorry fishnets, but when I read this I laughed sooo hard! I totally remember how I felt about farting in front of my boyfriend. I was petrified! I'd find reasons to have to run out to the garbage or to the car or something so I could let rip!
I finally realized that I was either going to die from holding my gas (not to mention my poops) in while he was around or I could just do my business. Now, needless to say, we have quite the "musical" relationship. Gross to some, I know, but we try to out-fart each other some times. We talk about my problems which means poops and farts...it's really nice to be able to be so open with the person I care about! And he thinks it's great fun I'm so open about my bodily functions  Granted, I am not a shy person whatsoever, plus I came from a family whose outlook was basically "better out than in" so perhaps all this came easily to me.
Bottom line: If you are moving in together I guarantee your gas is not going to scare him off. In fact you should be yourself around him and I know that once you break that barrier and let one go in front of him, you won't worry again!
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ok... funny story... when Shane & I first started dating we went for a day drive to the beach and back (we got married there later )....anyway...by time we got home... he was in sooo much pain... come to find out HE had trapped gas cuz he did not want to fart in front of me... THAT was the end of that... LOL So now it is more like....
- SSShhhh.... listen.... (FART)
- Hey baby....here's a kiss for ya...(FART)
- UUnnooooooo...... (FART)
- (FART) WWoooooo...... THAT wing of the house is CCCLLLOOOSSSEEDDDD!!!
- (FART) I didn't do it .... you can't prove it!!
- Hey, you be nice or next time I have to fart in bed I'm gonna do it and pull the blanket over your head! LOL
See.... REALLY it can be a lot of fun....
Shane says to me, "If you DON'T fart.... I worry your gonna get sick" 
p.s. that "spoon" comment reminded me that a few times we have farted on each others legs while sleeping.... LOL
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
Edited by Shell Marr (10/26/05 04:23 PM)
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Quote:
ok... funny story... when Shane & I first started dating we went for a day drive to the beach and back (we got married there later )....anyway...by time we got home... he was in sooo much pain... come to find out HE had trapped gas cuz he did not want to fart in front of me... THAT was the end of that... LOL So now it is more like....
- SSShhhh.... listen.... (FART)
- Hey baby....here's a kiss for ya...(FART)
- UUnnooooooo...... (FART)
- (FART) WWoooooo...... THAT wing of the house is CCCLLLOOOSSSEEDDDD!!!
- (FART) I didn't do it .... you can't prove it!!
- Hey, you be nice or next time I have to fart in bed I'm gonna do it and pull the blanket over your head! LOL
See.... REALLY it can be a lot of fun....
Shane says to me, "If you DON'T fart.... I worry your gonna get sick"
p.s. that "spoon" comment reminded me that a few times we have farted on each others legs while sleeping.... LOL
LOL!
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IBS-C
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you're together, know what i mean...and you let one loose? my hubby is SUPER careful to never let one go with me...he even brushes his teeth with the door closed and blows his nose in another room....what do I DO!!!!????
Any advice? THANKS!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh Ruchie...just let 'er rip!!!
And pretend nothing happened.
Blame it on the dog.
You're married!!! You should have farting priviledges by now.
It's just a sneeze coming out of your bum.
Kate, IBS-D.
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ROTFL
#221694 - 10/27/05 08:54 PM
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Kate, you crack me up!
I think in this way my hubby is just VERY MODEST and proper or something LOL
I guess I will have to get him to lighten up?
I am also very proper in the way I was brought up in these regards...
Any help for us? 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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LOL!
#221702 - 10/27/05 09:32 PM
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Kate, you're hilarious as usual
Ruchie - the first one's always the hardest one...lol. With me and my partner it was weird at first, but then someone just let one go (probably him, lol) and after that it was just like "whatever"! So... hmmm what's my advice here... I guess the only way to lighten him up really is to, uh, expose him to it! if ya know what I mean... Be bold, daring and courageous! Be the first to one rip and then laugh about it!
Good luck!!!
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LOL! You could also pretend to sneeze the same you fart. It wouldn't cover up the smell, but it'd damper the sound.
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When hubby and I started dating he had no problem letting'em rip in front of me and belching and all kinds of stuff. But I was mortified to pass gas or belch in front of him. But I have GERDS on top of IBS so sometimes if I don't stay on top of my meds I belch like a champ, especially when drinking alcohol which come to find out is not good to drink when you have IBS. Hence the increased belching and farting when I was out drinking.
So we were at his house with his bestfriend who brought his girlfriend and we were drinking. And I couldn't hold it in I belched so loud it could have peeled paint off the wall. I was so embarassed I jumped up from sitting which caused me to fart VERY LOUD!! There was silence from everyone and I know I was the shade of red of a tomato and looking horrified. And then my hubby began to laugh so hard he almost peed himself. What a relief and to think that I suffered so many times from holding in gas!
Christie
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Christie
~Hoping and Praying for Sleep!~
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I agree. Shell just posted a post about farting. Practice farting in front of him. You'll get comfortable with it - make it light "farted". (Sorry, couldn't resist)
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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