It's finally hit me...depression
#206077 - 08/17/05 05:42 AM
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Yesterday I wasn't my usual chipper self and then I felt yucky after noon and laid around. I thought I felt better after going to the bathroom. then while baking and doing dishes I had a strange panic attack. Today I woke up depressed still. I feel powerless and overwhelmed. I think it is job-related (see this thread for explanation). I haven't allowed myself to cry at all through this whole ordeal since I look so bad afterward, maybe I should just go ahead and do it. Then again maybe that won't help and this whole thing is going to get worse. DH thinks I will snap out of it like always, but I feel like it will continue when I start the new job and on and on. I am suspicious that it is because I never wanted to go back to having a bad employer or feel like I was doing something I really didn't feel comfortable with. Not that I always liked meter reading for my old boss (especially after dog attacks), but I knew it was a good situation. The new employer seems like a hand-pumping, fakey, pompous jerk and I don't want to work for another one of those.
Well, that is what i think is causing this blueness. I can't decide what I should do to make myself feel better. I have a pulled muscle and shouldn't exercise today but will tomorrow. I don't know if I should go out and be with friends today or stay home and read. I sure hope this goes away! (I am trying a cup of caffeinated tea to rev me up.)
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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I am sorry to hear that you are so emotional. I think everyone feels like you do at one point or another. You are allowed to feel sad and overwhelmed. Crying is therapeutic, espcecially if you have a shoulder to cry on. I like to call my friends and go out for a tea with them when I am feeling upset. Then come home and do what you like best, reading, taking a bath...Hang in there... 
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I left the house to do other things and had to come home for a D attack. It was mild but now I am pretty sure I will just lay around all day. 
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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i'm sorry - that really sucks. but maybe you can look at the day spent at home as a chance to relax and laze about, rather than a limitation, and just enjoy the vegging out?
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I like to curl up in the corner of the couch with a cup of tea and either a trashy novel or a trashy TV show and indulge my misery for a while - don't know if that would work for you. (If you need trashy novel suggestions, let me know.  )
As for the job, I think I know just what you mean about the kind of person your new boss is - I find them absolutely exhausting to be around. Maybe you'd feel better about it if you set some kind of time limit, like, I'll try this for 3 months and if it's as bad as I think it's going to be, I'll quit?
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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To say, "that sucks," is a crude understatement.
I am reminded of a Tom Robbins novel, "Only Cowgirls Get the Blues," for some bizarre reason. It is funny.
You're entitled to feel blue/depressed. I think some pampering is in order. A home facial? Exfoliate something? Wax this or that? Movies? Magazines?
Brewing a pot of something yummy. Curling up like a cat with the silliest trashiest book you can find--or maybe something horrorific? (I vote for choice number two.)
I am so sorry that you feel so depressed, but I must say that you're entitled--so don't deny it, just "go with it" and uh, "have fun?"
Kate.
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Ok
#206263 - 08/17/05 06:09 PM
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I did follow the suggestions and took it easy, read and watched the movie of the book too (part 1). I do feel better. I am sort of setting a time limit- wintertime. If I am wasting too much money and time I will find other work before winter. Anything. 
I am also still trying to get published and to get a job making up recipes and doing appearances for a grocery store chain. It is so much work to make these proposals!
I am not sure what the gurgles were about other than stress, but with a lot of tea and pep caps I think I am doing better. I went out in the garden a little bit too and that was nice.
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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I am really excited for you on the goals you set in getting stuff published. Sorry that I am new to this but what do you write? I am always excited to check out new authors so if you need readers or feedback, please let me know since I am an avid reader of whatever I can get my hands on.
Plus you love to cook and come up with new recipes. Have you thought about competing in the cooking competitions. I know there are some great theme cooking contests. A few weeks ago I was watching Food Network and they had the $100,000 Chicken Cookoff. I would love to compete but not sure if I have that great of recipes since I am always tinkering. Although I love to try other individuals recipes.
I have been reading about the stress you have going on with work, and I know it isn't fun to deal with. I really hope things improve for you before winter.
*hugs*
Michelle
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thanks!
#206277 - 08/17/05 07:08 PM
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I write early nineteenth century set fiction aka Jane Austen ripoffs! Seriously, I wrote a Regency England set romance that I am trying to get published. I am excited that a new member joined our local Jane Austen Society group that is a literary agent. I am going to ask for advice.
I have thought of entering recipe contests before and never seem to do it. I used to really try hard. I would love to hear about the ones I must be missing! 
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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I love reading period pieces. I just finished one of Robin Maxwell's books on Queen Elizabeth I, and before that it was a book called Slammerkin. I love Jane Austen and other writers who really lure you into the characters and the scenery so you feel that you are there. So few writers anymore seem to really have you feel compassion or really get to know the character and their ordeals. It seems like they only write a cookie cutter story with names changes and various details altered. It starts driving me crazy since some of my favorite authors have started to just have others write for/with them. I wish I knew why but it gets a bit disappointing.
A few of the cooking contest links that I started checking since then have been:
http://www.proofpositive.com/contests/cooking.php
http://www.foodreference.com/html/recipecontests.html
http://www.contestcook.com/
One of the gals on the show had won all kinds of new appliances and pots and pans. The stuff filled her garage.
I love your penguin photo in your sig. Have you seen March of the Penguins? I am hoping to see it.
-Michelle
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