symptom free and still cant leave the house
#196506 - 07/17/05 05:51 AM
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So the good news is I am 10 days symptom free. Eating very carefully, faithfully listening to IBS CDs, mostly sleeping well.
and I still couldn't get my act together to go to work. I didn't plan ahead to sleep right and missed Friday nite. I work ideally from midnite-8am so I try to sleep from 10am-6pm. I'm an independent contractor with a totally open schedule, long story at my blog www.fundiva.blogspot.com
Then today (Sat) I focused on getting to sleep on time, had my hypnosis going at 10:20am, alarm set for 7pm. Woke up at 1:45pm, the A/C had gone out, got up to 86 in the house, (I'm in Las Vegas so it was 113F outside) Luckily hubby got it going again but by then I was too wired to sleep. Finally went back to sleep at 5, but he had to climb on the roof again sometime around 9 so it was twilite sleep all evening.
I finally got up at 3am and hurried to get ready for work. Ate some really safe instant mashed potatoes and was ready to go.
And I didn't leave the house.
It was too late, my tummy was unsettled, why couldn't I have just gotten up at 11, my heel was still hurting, it would be a waste of time, blah blah blah in my head.
I am so sad. I worked last Sat and it was so nice to be out and not afraid of being sick, and now I have a whole week of feeling stable and I still sabotaged my sleep to screw up my schedule. I thought fixing the IBS would fix everything but I still have to face the fact that I hate my job and I have to find something else to do.
So now it's not the IBS, it's me. My DH will be disappointed again and the money will be more crucial since it looks like new AC is required ~$4K
My body is not used to being normal. A few times this week I wanted to purposely eat a trigger cuz I thought it was time to go, but I wasn't going. Patience and hot tea (my fav is Celest Seas Almond Sunset) helped.
So part of why I didn't want to leave for work is that I hadn't had a movement yet, it's been from 0-2 hrs after eating all week. Before I started to realize I might have IBS, I actually used to look forward to my coffee after I woke up cuz it would help me go. But then sometimes in a really bad way and I'd be sick all day.
On the plus side, I got some Nilla Wafers and they are yummy!
thanks for letting me vent
Christy
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There's a word for people who think everyone is conspiring against them. I know, perceptive.
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Oh dear
#196508 - 07/17/05 06:09 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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How are you at getting out of the house for stuff other than work? I always found that if I made myself get out (to the shops or whatever) it was then easier to leave the house for work.
Could your hubby drive you to work or something so there's someone saying "Are you ready yet?" etc?
And look for a new job! 
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It takes me forever to get around to doing errands and even then I schedule them all together, which is somewhat practical when it's 115!
I can make it to appointments if they are important, like taking my precious kitten to the vet. And the day I found out the IBS CDs were at a local shop I just went cuz I knew I wanted them ASAP. Of course I had to call ahead and check that they really had them there before I left.
And I only drag myself to the gym 1-2 times a week even though they are open 24 hrs and 3 min from my house.
But any fun stuff like meetups that I wanted to join or a local biz get together, I just don't go usually. Of course I haven't had anything scheduled like that in the past week since feeling stable.
I like the idea of maybe scheduling a time to go do some trial runs. Like I could practice leaving the house to go get gas at 9PM Wed and come home and that wouldn't be too big a deal. OK that's on my calendar. Having no schedule at work is a huge part of the problem.
I wish hubby could take me to work, but he sleeps 8pm-4am, he has to be at his job at 6am, and weekends he sleeps in if hes not doing overtime.
A lot of it just has to do with accountability and responsibilty neither of which are appealing to me. Sure theres many childhood issues around those. I just know I do not want to make myself sick anymore to avoid being an adult.
I just really didn't expect to feel so much better physically so fast! No more IBS excuses, wow the mental part really sucks too.
ODAAT Christy
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There's a word for people who think everyone is conspiring against them. I know, perceptive.
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