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I've been called the same things: snob/party pooper, etc. I can't tell you how many "Christmas" celebrations I deleted. I forget how many parties I never considered attending. My strategy re: coping with IBS, socially, has been to avoid. It's become a habit, this being a "hermit." I just choose to eat alone because I know it is safe. I despise myself at times for not sharing eating times/situations with those that I love. Only very very recently did I venture beyond my "bubble," on my birthday. It actually turned out better than okay. I take a pill for the anxiety and it's helping me "ease" up tremendously. It's still hard, though, being accused of being a snob or literally a "party-pooper" by my loved ones. Some people just don't understand, but there are a few people that do, now, to the best of their ability, due to the literature I've shared and test results, etc. It just really hurts beyond description sometimes.
You nailed this one, Maria! Maria! Feel better soon, and hugs. You reminded me, too that I should get my hair trimmed and my eyebrows waxed.
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i cope really well some days and not so well other days....i know my topic of discussion today is my dbf....but he's been so supportive and understanding, and when he buys food he checks every single food he gets for trggers, thanks me for not being able to eat out...because it saves him money...ahaha...and alot of it is knowing that there are other people who deal with it too. one of my co-worker's husband has ibs, so it helps to know that people around you deal with it too. there are some days that my tummy can't handle anything, and it's so hard to eat, and it makes the day that much worse, but my daughter who is 5 is really nurturing about it, my dbf will rub my back or make tea and such, and the heating pad does miricles!
i'm more ibs-d...but the c comes but not as bad as most of you others, so watching what i eat helps so much
my family tries to be as understanding and supportive as possible too...but like most other people's family they constantly forget that i have tummy problems...that can being emotionally distressful just becuase it feels like they don't care, though they arne't living with the symptoms so it's hard to relate....
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Hi. Really good question. I have had IBS since I was fifteen and now I am almost 26. Lately it is getting much more on top of me then it ever did. It is causing psychological damage to me and its like a constant fight to remain that spontaneous, happy, carefree girl I know I was born to be, if this IBS wasn't here. I think a few things make it harder to deal with - the feeling of lack of bodily control and the unpredictability of it is huge. I always said, if I KNEW from 8am to 10am every day I would be in pain and with D or C or whatever, I could revolve my life around it accordingly. But the whole 'one minute I feel ok and the next awful' is soooo hard to take. Thinking about others worse off then me really helps. I have a list on my cellphones notebook that gets me focused. I've also started keeping a diary on the toilet when I am able to write and that helps me process my feelings.
The emotional support and compassion of people that are meant to love us is also vital. I have three brothers. One is and always has been completely insensitive and arrogant about his ignorant opinions on IBS. It was a source of tension between us for a long while, now I guess it still is inside me, but I try not to let it effect our relationship. My other brother and his wife are sometimes caring in words ie how are you feeling - but their actions are not. They are also not the most compassionate helpful people. Too wrapped up in their own analysis of what THEY think is wrong with me without actually ever googling IBS or even trusting my own description of what happens. I am also, of course, the local hypochondriac. I have started to relax about them lately though and not let them bother me, I have realised I should pity them and their lack of compassion. Their lack of ability to just give me a hug and say 'this must be so hard for you'. I KNOW if the situation was reversed, I would be there for them. Even when they have colds I help. My little brother is the only one I trust to bawl my eyes out on and to know that he is there for me.
On the other hand, my best friends and my in laws and my parents (especially lately) are incredibly supportive. My husband is unbelievable. They carry me through all of this.
Its sooo important to surround yourself with the people that will help you, understand you, BELIEVE you, not BELITTLE you. It really lifts the spirits.
What has brought my spirit down in this last year is the whole 'I've tried every diet etc and its not going away' feeling. Loss of hope. But it IS a day to day thing. And I've stopped fighting the tears and suppressing the frustration. I put a brave face on a lot of the time (hubby says I am the BEST at hiding nausea at social events!) but I let myself have a good moan and cry every so often, I think I deserve it.
Its hard to explain to people the deep set emotional and spiritual stress of dealing with a disease like IBS. This board has been an ABSOLUTE LIFESAVER.I wish I would have had it in my first 9 years.
Good luck
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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It's so nice to know you're not alone. Maria Maria your post could have been written by me. As a teenager the IBS wasn't as bad but after the birth of my first daughter it became out of control and has steadily gotten worse as time has passed (that being said so have my stress levels, which doesn't help at all). I too haven't had a haircut in 8 months (AHHH split ends galore!) and I wax my own eyebrows. Even the thought of my own wedding day struck fear into my heart (for IBS reasons not because I didn't want to marry him  ). It's great to know we're not alone 
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Amy
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That's exactly how I feel, too. I am learning and coping. Soy milk tasted like beans before, now regular milk tastes like COWS and diarrhea! Soy cheese was a gross thought, but again, now it all tastes like animals and weird.
And yeah, we have to be careful and it's for sure unpredictable(remember, July 1 I was D? Today I'm quite C! ah, the fun...)
The best therapy for me is to laugh about it. i mean, hey, it's a POO disorder! How can it not be funny? how is it NOT funny that we talk about marbles and scoots and logs? it's a freakin riot!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Thanks for replying! Cool that you remember. Do you have a boyfriend right now? I've had boyfriends in the past who tried to understand and said they were ok with it, but now I'm single and having such a hard time getting to know someone because I can never go anywhere far from home. The first date "wanna go out for dinner" is a right off for me. I hate this...I'm getting more and more depressed hearing that some of you have had IBS for 10 years and it's proof that it's never going away. I still have hope though, that's the only thing that keeps me going.
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Nope no boyfriends (my husband would kill me he he ). He married me knowing I had IBS and while it's not easy for him he's still there for me (we DO have arguments about it though sometimes, mostly when it's frustrating him, men like to fix stuff and this I'm afraid he can't fix). If a guy suggests going out to dinner why don't you come up with some places that you'd feel comfortable going to (anything but a restaurant) so you can say "that sounds great but would you maybe be interested in .....". If they ask just say you have food intolerances and eating out can be a bit hard for you but you'd love to do something else. Going to the beach, a walk in a park, ummm a movie? Sadly I've had IBS ever since I can remember. Some of my first memories are of mum dragging me round doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was always sick in the tummy. I still battle with it now (a whole 26 years later). I just hang in there for the good days. Feel free to chat anytime and if you'd like to email me that's okay too (amyemadden@hotmail.com).
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Amy
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If we can't laugh at it, it will be worse. I'm glad other people use names for it besides me. Raisins, marbles, meatballs, gummy worms, little snakes and tree trunks. LOL Let's not forget Dairy Queen "soft serve". I tell my friends I am going on line to check out the FECAL FORUM and they just look at me like I'm nuts.(well, maybe I am, but IBS has driven me there)
I can't say I joke or laugh too much during an attack. It isn't pleasant, but I know it isn't life threatening, like so many other things. Just keep a  on your face and the toilet paper handy.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Quote:
Linz had another good point - the heat (and humidity, if that's a problem in your area) can really mess with your system. I have a feeling that's what's destabilized me - I've been back in almost full-fledged attack mode since the start of summer.
I'm going to start my story by addressing this point. I've been the same way for the past month or so! After not having a single full-fledged attack for over a year and a half, I've started having them at least once every couple of weeks again. I had been doing a great job coping during that time when my IBS was so undet control, but now that I've gone back to being an A I've been getting down about it from time to time, too. It's tough to know that something that's out of your control, like the heat and humidity, can wreak such havok on your body! Yes, it's very dperessing at times, and has been causing me a great deal of anxiety lately. For me, coping at times like this is about putting it all in perspective. Yesterday I started feeling sorry for myself, and then reminded myself that hundreds of people had been killed or injured that very morning in the terrorist attacks in London. Is my IBS really that big of a deal compared to something like that?? No. It's things like that that bring me back to reality and force me to realize that things could be a heck of a lot worse. Plus I try to pray about it and ask God to help me cope as much as possible. Remembering that I'm not going through anything alone is also a comforting feeling. Which is also why these boards are so awesome! Knowing that so many people are going through similar things is a huge anxiety-reducer.
One more thing... the hypno CDs were a HUGE help when I first started having problems. I would highly recommend them as a coping strategy. I'm done rambling now. 
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Quote:
For me, coping at times like this is about putting it all in perspective. Yesterday I started feeling sorry for myself, and then reminded myself that hundreds of people had been killed or injured that very morning in the terrorist attacks in London. Is my IBS really that big of a deal compared to something like that?? No. It's things like that that bring me back to reality and force me to realize that things could be a heck of a lot worse.
Kree, that's the same thing I do. I think about how I could be so much worse. I don't have something fatal, I have use of all my limbs, my sight, etc. It usually helps me get over my self-pity party. Sometimes it's still not easy though....
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