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Hi, my name is Alesha. I've been reading these posts for about a year and I've gotten to know you the most because you write so well about your life. It's always interesting to read your posts. I have a very hard time fitting in no matter where I am, and getting to know people or building relationships is a struggle for me. Even though I've posted a few threads, no one on here probably remembers me because if anyone replied to them I may not have replied back to them. I've always distanced myself from people, kept that space between us to protect myself from getting hurt. I feel like people don't understand me, they are going to get bored of me, sick of me complaining etc etc. I hate my life, but I love being alive. I can't be like "normal" people, and I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. When I start getting to know people they start asking me to go places, to drink with them, to have dinner with them, and so on. When I turn down the invitations so often they stop asking me, even when I try to explain why I can't go they always assume I just don't want to or I'm stuck up. Well....I am lonely, and tired of being afraid of this. I want to get to know people and I want to be accepted for who I am and what I have. I thought what better place to start building friendships than right here, where people understand me? So, if anyone wants to get to know me, or replies to me I promise I'll keep in touch on here. I can learn from you guys and maybe, just maybe some of you will learn from some things I have to say. Goodluck to everyone in getting better and staying better!
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Hi! I'm very much like you. I don't have a whole lot of friends for the same reasons as you. People get tired of me always dipping out at the last minute, they get tired of me saying "oh I can't I'm sick" and they think I'm either a snob who is using her health as an excuse or that I'm faking it cause I just don't want to go. When I do go to someone's party or a friends child's baptism or something I don't eat. There's never anything "safe" to eat and even if there was food makes me feel so ill that I probably wouldn't risk eating it while I was out anyway. It's a very hard life when you're lonely and can't meet people cause you're always so sick. At least we all understand 
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Amy
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Aerobics Angel, glad your here and hope your life gets better. I know about turning down the invitations and people do stop asking....duhhh I keep saying no 
I am sorry you feel suicidal so much. Been there, tried that! The devastation it reeked on my family took ages to heal and longer for trust to return. Keep writing and visiting around here. I try to not take it personal when I don't get much response to a post. Some posts go on and on some just sit there. But I've always found any info given very helpful. Hang in, life's a beach 
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Franny
IBS/D
Celiac
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Just reading you & Aerobics post made me tear up because you both totally sound like me! I don't have very much friends because I can't go anywhere. I am so afraid of going places especially if I don't know the bathrooms.
My boyfriend gets upset with me sometimes because he doesn't understand. In fact, we just got into a fight because he said that I never go out with friends anymore.
It's so depressing and lonely. I can relate to you guys. Thanks for your posts! It makes me feel little "normal" to know that I'm not the only one.
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Your board name sticks in the brain! 
My advice is, unless you're actually mid-attack, say yes and go out! If you're going to a restaurant, suggest one that will do something you can eat...if you're going out for a drink, be the designated driver  ...if you're going to a party, take some brownies!
But I totally understand all the same. I just know that it gets increasingly harder to say yes the more times you say no....and getting out and enjoying life makes IBS easier to deal with.
Oh...and Immodium and painkillers are my friends!
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Hey. I love your board name btw (you're not a virginia andrews fan by any chance are you?). It's really hard on our partners. I've been with my DH for 8 years (married 4 1/2) and as much as he tries to get it he doesn't and I'm sad to say we still have arguments over it. And with every new symptom I get I have a barrage of tests to see what's wrong and every single one of them comes back clear (looking on the good side I might be ill but I know I'm not dying of anything terrible for a while at least!). I think a lot of us go through this. The worse the pain is the more "hermit" like we become. I don't even like making doctors appointments cause I'm always scared I'll be sick while I'm there and going to the hairdressers? HUH! Forget it! Sitting still that long and having nothing to do but think about how my belly is behaving is just darn scary. Just know you're not alone. (((hugs))))
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Amy
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Coping was something that takes alot of time and patience.
I personally tried to cope with my IBS without the help of medication for close to 2 years. Needless to say I was quite unsuccessful. I currently take Zoloft 75mg a day to "help" me get through the days when things just seem like they can't be any worse because of my sore tummy....
Zoloft has been a savior for me.
Understanding from friends and family certainly make my coping with this terrible condition much easier.
Best of luck to you and hang in ther-
It isnt fair- but it's a part of life.
Melissa
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First, *hugs* to all three of you!
AerobicsAngel--Hey! I remember you! I can also be wary of new people and making friends (partly because of some IBS limitations, partly because of an ex-friend of mine who suffered from a personality disorder and what happened to her, partly because of the expectations and responsibility of having friends). It's scary posting here, because there are a few people who I'd really like to get to know better, but I feel sort of anxious about it.
Heavenlee--You're not alone. My dad and sister used to call me a "party pooper" because I wasn't able to go out with them all the time. I finally got through to them by making them read stuff about IBS and telling them over and over what and how I was feeling, crying, inviting them to come to the bathroom with me and see what the "party pooper" is experiencing (they never accepted the offer). But they're family and I thought I had the right to be as obnoxious with them as possible to get my point across. lol. IBS is a functional disorder, a real illness that needs to be managed by the person who has it. It helps when family, friends, and partners understand this, but it can take a while for them to "get it"--especially since it's not a life-threatening disease and most of us probably don't even look sick.
Doubletrouble--At times, I feel like hermit; I've always had these tendencies to be a loner but with the IBS (and anxiety) I find myself actively isolating myself. At this point, I don't worry about the quantity of friends of I have, but the quality. I have a few really good friends who visit me and know about my IBS and plan get-togethers accordingly, so in that way I feel pretty lucky that they don't leave me alone. Like you, it's hard for me to go to the doctor's or dentist's office--oh, and getting my hair done! It's not the act, like getting my teeth cleaned or blood drawn, but just the fact that I have to sit there, waiting, wondering about what's going on with my belly--and if I hear one gurgle, I FREAK! I'm trying to stop thinking so negatively because it feeds into my anxiety and that triggers more IBS symptoms. But it's difficult to break old habits and thought patterns!
I'm sort of rambling, I had a rough night and took some meds that are making me woooozy. I hope this reply made sense. I just wanted to reach out to you all because I know what you're feeling and I feel relieved I'm not the only one.
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wow...
#192711 - 07/07/05 09:05 AM
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maikko
Reged: 05/30/05
Posts: 62
Loc: maryland
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...it's like someone reached in my heart and wrote out what i could never properly express. Seeing what you guys wrote reall ymakes me feel like less of a freak and perhaps even willing to open up to people as well. Ive been going through a lot of transitions on top of being sick and feeling pretty depressed and alone, but right now i feel a slight glimmer of hope that i can also be accepted, and if nothing else, receive understanding..thanks...
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--maikko
IBS-A, mostly C-- many foods intolerant 
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It is VERY difficult to deal with IBS. Sometimes it just seems like whatever u eat it just triggers symtoms. I know just how u feel. Sometimes I just wish I didn't exist because I don't want to live with this for the rest of my life. It is hard to think that we're stuck like this and we have to try our best to control it. And sometimes it just doesn't help it. It is just so confusing to deal with. Sometimes I wish they could do some kind of surgery and fix the pain, but I know that isn't possible since there's no surgery that can fix this. I just look at the people around me who don't have this problem and ask myself why me? Sometimes even when I eat something like a grahm cracker and that even bothers me. While everyone else can eat all the sweets they want and not get sick, how come I get sick on one little grahm cracker? It just doesn't seem far and it isn't. But life isn't fair and it is up to us to do our best to control this problem, and it might not always work but we have to try.
Edited by Jessica Anne (07/07/05 09:16 AM)
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