Anyone with bipolar disorder...
#191619 - 07/04/05 09:32 PM
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I am wondering how it manifests? I think I might have this (on top of everything else!)
Sometimes I laugh and cry at the same time. I have to say...I feel crazy. This happened to me tonight as a matter of fact...
I am very scared. I will stay close to hubby tonight and make sure I am ok...if not I will wake him...so no worries. he knows what is going on.
I hope I find a psychiatrist to help me SOON. I will call tomorrow when I wake up!
I love you guys,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I've never been diagnosed with bp - or think I need to be - but I get like that when I'm not on a-d's and needing them! Don't stress about it, hon. Lack of serotonin makes me TOTALLY crazy, so it could well just be that you really need those a-d's to keep you on the level. {{{hugs}}}
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I agree with Linz..
generally with bipolar you get really high highs (ie in some cases you can go for an entire week not sleeping and feeling as though you are on top of the world as per my exroomate) and really low lows, which generally last alot longer than a few days.
if you're really worried ask your doctor.
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Quote:
generally with bipolar you get really high highs (ie in some cases you can go for an entire week not sleeping and feeling as though you are on top of the world as per my exroomate) and really low lows, which generally last alot longer than a few days.
That is generally true for most bipolars. However, there is such a thing as 'rapid cycling' where you experience the mood swings much faster. Also, when you're in the 'up' phase, it may not be euphoria, good feelings, etc, like you hear about. You can actually swing between periods of severe anxiety & irritability, down to depression, fatigue, etc. (I had a dr once who thought I 'might' be bipolar.) That's the type where there's no real upside.  I always said I wouldn't mind being bipolar so much if I got the mania, the energy & giddiness. Instead I got just irritable & anxious, restless, couldn't sit still.
Turns out, I don't believe I actually have bipolar, I'm just a grumpy, irritable gal who suffers from anxiety AND depression. (Not to mention the IBS...hmm, which came first, the chicken or the egg??) 
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Shelli - Wife & stay at home mom to 1 son, 1 dog & 2 parrots! IBS-A, usually C.
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I tend to get REALLY happy and then REALLY low within hours--even less sometimes! My highs usually last 1-5 days or so. The depression can last weeks and months. I have friends who have said to me that I am very "up and down". I get moments of grandiosity where I make big statements or goals I can't possibly keep. And this has all been going on since I was a child And around PMS time I almost always feel VERY DEPRESSED and sometimes suicidal.  While it DOES get better on non-PMS times...it does NOT go away. And it can be just as bad on non PMS times...it is just VERY consisten then.
As for spending money and the overly sex interested parts...not so much. I HAVE called friends excessively and run up phone bills. And I have bought things MANY times that could not be afforded just to have them and then return them 
I'm just a freak!
After the pyschologist mentioned going to a psychiatrist to be evaluated...I took a LONG look at my life. I do NOT want to be like my mother. I want to raise kids in a SAFE world where they can come to me and I will be there for them. This means having to be REAL and HONEST with who I am...and that might be someone with a chemical imbalance. I don;'t want tht to be the truth...but this is making come to terms with the fact thatthere IS something wrong here. Bipolar or not, am I right, this is all not normal? Being suicidal, anorexic and then overeating, depression, highs/lows. 13 clubs in college and extra classes, etc.? (Then again...being abused is not NORMAL! What do I expect?)
Thank you for supporting me...PLEASE send more encouragement. This is VERY hard stuff *hugs*
Love,
Ruchie
P.S. I THINK I should have posted this in the Living Room. I wrote this late at night during an episode and I was not thinking clearly. Sorry for posting in the wrong place
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ruchie--
I admire how you're taking control of your life and evaluating your past experiences.! Being honest with yourself is probably the most difficult think to do. Something else that can be difficult for some people is to advocate for yourself. I know that you're a very spiritual person, and I think that taking care of yourself, as you would a friend or a loved one, and realizing that you, too, deserve to be happy and have some peace are ways to show respect for the life and body your G-d has given you. I hope I'm making sense...
My only concern is that you don't try to self-diagnose yourself at this point. I don't have much experience with abuse, so I can't say what is a normal reaction or not. However, I definitely don't see you as a freak! I doubt anyone else does either!
*hugs* and 
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Well, hon, I'd say that's not normal, but then NOBODY IS!  Getting help when you need it (and I think you do - I do too) is very positive and healthy.  My Mom had real issues with getting help too...I'm so glad that I'm a new generation with new concepts and things to help. It's weird...my Aunt's going through depression atm and has just started on a-d's...she hasn't wanted to talk to my Mum about it at all, but she talked to me fine as I was upfront about being on a-d's myself. The older generation had a lot of bad stereotypes to cope with, like getting treated for depression being weak! Uh...NO WAY. This is chemicals, people! There's no stigma attached to taking insulin for diabetes so why should there be for taking SSRIs?
Anyway, good luck with the psych.
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Thanks for the encouragement! I cannot self-diagnos...only a doc can tell me what I have going on. And they are the only ones that can give me meds! I just want to know if I am not alone...if there are others on the boards like me? And what they personally experience?
Thansk again...you are GREAT *hugs*, big ones!
Love, Ruch
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ruchie:
Get the to a professional, i.e. a psychiatrist, a.s.a.p. You are not a freak. You are emotionally challenged due to past trauma. You are panicked. You are anxious. You are fragile.
You need some "amo" some tools to survive/thrive/progress and be you again.
A psychiatrist can access your needs and prescribe something to help manage your MIND, your moods, et cetera. Hopefully,
a sense of ORDER can be restored or recreated.
I re-iterate that YOU ARE AN INTELLIGENT, LOVING and LOVABLE
INDIVIDUAL and are responding to extreme psychic distress which you live with every waking and seemingly sleeping moment. In a bizarre way, your response patterns, your rhythms, your behaviour is a mode of protection and an attempt to adapt/survive. There are more evolved and enlightened ways. You're just in the dark, honey.
Hugs. E-mail me for further support and discussion. I send bunches of P.E. (positive energy) and support. Don't jump the gun, as they say. AND BREATHE!!! I HEREBY TELL THAT DAMAGED younger inner you that IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!
Edited by Wind (07/05/05 12:36 PM)
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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