Sorry-I have to vent-I am so depressed
#186534 - 06/15/05 03:11 PM
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beacon1961
Reged: 02/28/05
Posts: 62
Loc: Marlton, NJ
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I have been watching my calories and exercising every day-walk 4 miles and strength train 3-4X week.
The last 2 days I have gotten up in the am and had huge logs and pain. My gut felt like it worked out-sore all day-actually since about Sat it has been doing this.
I have a huge job interview next Thurs. It would be a much less stressful job, much less travel and much more in line with my personal goals in life. I am meeting with 10 people from the CFO, COO aand every Exec VP.
I am bloated terribly. I went suit shopping today and it is like my hips have doubled in size. I feel like a fat cow.
Of course the heat and humidity aren't doing much to help. My hair is limp and yucky all of a sudden, but I just feel so pregnant-even when I don't eat a thing. It is like I grew 2 dress sizes overnight.
Anyone have issues like this. the scale is way up too. I am so frustrated and totally depressed. Help guys!!!!! Please.
Sorry to be so down-but I am majorly depressed right now. The suit I bought last year I can't get over my hips. Stuff that fit perfect 2 weeks ago, I can't get on. I know I haven't been eating that much and I work out like crazy. This just doesn't make sense. I feel obese and like a failure.
Thanks!!
Mary
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It only takes a few committed people to change the world!
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Don't feel like a failure - you're most definitely not. You've got a major stressful event coming up in your life and the little things are taking their toll. It's totally frustrating when you're working out like crazy and eating healthily and nothing happens. Trust me - I was on weight watchers for 12 weeks and didn't lose a pound. Not ONE. In fact, I gained. Don't obsess over the fact that your weight is up a bit. So what? The honest truth is is that likely no one but you notices it. Plus, if you're bloating, I find that the pulling on the stomach pulls the pants forward and tightens the hip area even more. So it's not just your hips. It's probably the bloating too. Your hips aren't likely nearly as bad as you're thinking. Cheer up. Treat yourself to a new suit and try not to worry.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I am so sorry you are feeling so down and I totally understand. Have you changed anything you are eating recently? Are you eating a lot of wheat products? Are you eating too little calories for your size and activity level?
Just a few questions, I really hope you feel better.
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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The heat has broken here in North Jersey - I'm sitting in front of an open window and the breeze is making me think about putting on a sweatshirt, thank goodness - so it should be easing off there, too. I think that will help a lot - even before IBS, heat and humidity always made me simultaneously swell up and wilt. Plus this kind of weather is just psychologically hard, I think.
I agree that the size increase is more likely bloating than actual weight gain. Two weeks is way too fast to gain enough weight to make a difference - especially if you're exercising.
Could you consider a dress/suit type outfit instead of a true suit - a classic/classy A-line type dress that skims your body rather than hugging, with a super jacket? (I have no idea if they're in style this year and if they're not, I know they can be almost impossible to find. Maybe Nordstrom's?)
Good luck with the job interview. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Hi Mary,
Im so sorry to hear of this difficult time for you. I know it is so difficult when you see those numbers on the scale or feel your belly protruding despite all your conscientious efforts to eat appropriately/exercise. First of all, as hard as it may be, get rid of that scale for now. Your weight is only going to be inflated, esp if you are full of water/poo. And, no matter how much you exercise/how well you eat, that number is still going to be artificially inflated. Forget the number until you are feeling better about yourself, and the bloating goes away. Otherwise, you are just using those numbers to self-deprecate when you need to try to focus on all the amazing qualities you must have to have been chosen to interview amongst such prestigious/successful individuals. On the day of the interview, I would suggest a skirt or pant suit which will hide the bloat that you are seeing. I know when I get really bloated and gassy, I am also very constipated. I try to eat enough fiber to regulate my BMs better and drink lots of hot fennel tea, too. Maybe try some soothing soups on your belly. It could be that it is just aggravated and needs some soothing to bring it down a bit. I completely empathize with you, as I know it is devastating but i also know that the scale is like the WORST thing ever when you are feeling so bloated.
I also believe that the more you worry/get anxious over your belly's size, the bigger it gets too. It sounds silly, but I think all that anxiety becomes self-fulfilling for your eyes.
I know I am making it sound very easy,but believe me, I completely understand all the distress. But, try to put your best self forward for these next few days so you can shine on the day of your interview. I promise no one but you will notice that belly, and get rid of that scale until your belly calms down.
Good luck and take care!
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Thanks everyone. I can't tell you how much better I feel just talking to you guys and getting support. I am calming down and taking all your advice. I had two cups of fennel tea, lots of water and no triggers. I also understand the anxiety/stress connection which is probably a big trigger here. It would be a big change and I guess I internalize the nerves.
I know in my head the weight is the bloat etc. because I know what I have eaten and how much I have exercised and it doesn't make sense, but i still beat myself up. Hearing it from you all really helps get me grounded.
I bought 2 suits tonight-one with a long very loose skirt, and one pant suit. Both fit loose and the jackets cover the bloat. I am planning on the pantsuit since it is more tailored and classic, but I am throwing in the skirt in case I feel really bloated and can't handle even the pants. But they fit tonight and I am at my worst-so they should work next week- I hope!!
Thanks again-I needed you tonight. I really would love this job-it would change my lifestyle for sure. I think I would be a lot less stressed, I would have more time with my son, and I would be happier when I am working.
Mary
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It only takes a few committed people to change the world!
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I hope, hope, hope this works out for you! 
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Hey, gurl. Isn't the bloating just the worst??!!! I get it lots. Stress is my worst problem. I was unemployed for 7 months-am a single mom-you would think that was stressful, but now that I'm back working, I'm in worse shape IBS-wise. Peppermint seems to break up some of the bloat for me, and I take Valerian root to calm my stress down. Sigh. Nothing is helping much right now, I'm too freaked out about my new call-center job. So I'm looking for something less stressful. Geez, ha, I stress about having D on the job! Maybe if I started smoking weed like the cancer patients I would be calm.... Or in jail? ha. I guess all we can do is our best! I hope ya get better, I DO feel yer pain!
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I know you posted about wanting to try it. But it could be your problem now. Did you see this reply I posted? FiberChoice
I would stop it for a while if you are indeed taking it since it may be the cause of your worse bloating/pain. Just a thought.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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TOTALLY!!
#186586 - 06/15/05 08:24 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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That's why I kept paying $40 a month for a gym membership that I didn't use for 6 months. i went every day consistently, and dieted, for 4 months, and never lost a pound!! I quit trying again till recently, but I had gained about another 10-15 lbs. So I'm back to wqhere I was before I went to the gym now. Stupid.
But there's gotta be something else we can do!!
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Keep on keepin' on...
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There are some great concepts to mull over in this post. Obviously many of us can totally relate.
Have you heard of the saying 'what you focus on grows'? That's why its so important to try very hard to repeat positive affirmations. I've worked very hard on positive affirmations and self hypnosis.
I have to agree also, that when I smoked pot, my intestines -c- behaved very favorable. I just don't like some of the side-effects. The smell/paranoya; the lack of motivation; lung damage; and of course the munchies.
I too have noticed that the more I try to loose weight the more my stomach acts up.
The more I try to 'suck it in' (make it go away) the more it acts up. I think its something to do with abdominal muscles. If I just relax and let it all hang out - everything's fine.
I just started a new job a month ago, and was nervous about the new routine. My favorite affirmation was one about accepting and deserving the good; self worth and deserving success and abundance. I think many of us realize that the 'burden' of IBS is a manifestation of many other things going on in our lives, and that when we work on the other things, the symptoms ease up.
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That much humidity, it would be no surprise. Make sure you stay super hydrated...and this is not your fault, it's the weather (with some IBS on top), so don't beat yourself up!
Glad you found some suits. Good luck!
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I think all of us here know how it is to get bloated and feel very large, even though we know logically that it is just bloat. Keep drinking the fennel, lie down with a heating pad and try to relax. Stressing about it is just going to make it worse. Plus, it is quite unlikely that anyone will pay enough attention to your stomach when you go in for an interview to matter.
I am feeling the same way as you, though, right now. Sometimes we have to just keep being positive and trying to get over this horrible IBS. Keep your spirits up, hon, and good luck with the job interview!
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Elizabeth
all those years it wasn't IBS - it was celiac!
send me an email: liz@dopple.net
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That we have to be on special diets, feel camps and pain and D/C, bloat, expel gas... and don't get to wear cute, form fitting clothes.
Not to mention the fact that the bloat plays nasty mind games making us feel fatter and look fatter than we really are! My little vent on this whole lousy deal! 
Can you tell I've been having bad days with my GI system.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Re: Mary
#186718 - 06/16/05 01:19 PM
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Wind
Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178
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Mary, I feel like yelling at you. You are not a fat cow. You are a human being totally worthy of feeling confident and intelligent and beautiful in a new suit. Calling yourself nasty names will only make you feel worse and potentially react undesirablely. Get a new suit! Feel great and beautiful just because you are! Continue your health habits.
I swear it's fluid retention. It sounds like you're building muscle too! Muscle weighs more than fat and looks a heck of a lot better too.
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Hi Beth,
Thanks for the good luck wishes. I am really nervous.
I had the same thought regarding the Fiberchoice-I was having terrible gas with them. I stopped taking them. Yesterday I felt better, but today I went shopping again and bloated up like a basketball and sore all over again.
I haven't taken the Fiberchoice for 2 days. This really stinks!!!The only other thing I have had different in the last week other than the Fiberchoice is some soy milk-which I usually have no problem with. I tried a new brand-West Soy fat free. I can usually tolerate soymilk in small quantities.
this has just been a rotten week. It is my TOM as well and I can distinguish any more between those cramps and IBS. It seems like I am always having abdominal pain and back pain.
Anyway-THANKS everyone again!!!!
Hugs to you all.
Mary
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It only takes a few committed people to change the world!
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Sorry you are having such a hard time. I was in the same boat for months, but now I can't remember the last time I was bloated. My key---I quit the soluble fiber supplements! I just could not tolerate them. They were making me much worse. I looked and felt 9 months pregnant and was miserable all the time.
I figured out that what I needed to do was watch WHEN I eat things. Lots of things upset my stomach if I eat them on an empty tummy. But if I eat them after eating some soluble fiber, I do fine. For instance, I eat salad but only after having a piece (or two) of bread first. The same holds true for a glass of wine or a rich dessert.
By the way, Fiberchoice was the WORST for me. It gave me such horrible gas that I was doubled over in pain!
Hope this helps. Good luck to you~
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Thanks for all the support. And I needed to be yelled at. It is so easy for me to be overly critical and totally trash me. Something I would never do to anyone else, but I would tear myself down.
You guys are great and yes I should stop focusing on this IBS and tummy and just get on with it. Focus on the interview and how great it is going to be. And I look good anyway. So I can't wear the tight skirts and my dress size is higher-so what!!!
I really needed perspective.
My gratitude to all of you guys.
Mary
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It only takes a few committed people to change the world!
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did you check for that?
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Last night we went out to eat at Bucca de Peppi, an Italian place. I had a big glass of red wine, then a big salad topped with proscioutto and gorgonzola cheese. Then, my husband and I shared a chicken dish, topped with proscioutto and artichokes and a lemon sauce that I'm surec contained a stick of butter.
Miraculously, I had no problem with any of this----I think because I ate 2 large pieces of bread before anything else.
Today was a different story altogether. We ate lunch at PF Chang's (a Chinese place.) I had 1/2 order of lettuce wraps and 1/2 order of a scallop dish with white rice. By the time we left, my stomach was rumbling. I was a nervous wreck riding home in the car, afraid D would hit me anytime. It did hit me---but fortunately, it was after we got home.
The difference, I believe, in the way the two meals affected me was that I ate the first meal after filling my tummy first with soluble fiber---and the second meal, I ate on an EMPTY stomach.
I always have D if I don't follow the cardinal rule (fill tummy with soluble fiber FIRST). I don't know why I got so relaxed today. I guess I was a little too comfortable after having no problem last night!
I need to repeat after myself: I will have D if I eat most things on an empty stomach!!!!
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hi mary sounds like you need a hug--*HUG*  hehe--i felt *exactly* like that before i knew i had IBS. i was going thru some depression then and out of nowhere-- BAM!!! all these crazy problems and i looked [dare-i-say] PREGNANT?!!?! i was 16 and totally clueless. i beat myself up with the same names and saw myself as a HUGE blah-nothing  it just didnt seem fair that all the girls at my school got to wear cute summer shirts and cute clothes all the time and all icould wear was anything baggy to conceal my bloat  i cant remember how many times i cried myself to sleep hoping, wishing and praying somehow that i would be able to not have the problems. i was such a health freak!! so why me?? i ate right--and worked out almost everyday after school--it just never felt fair. so dont worry, you are far from alone and you look so lovely in your picture that i bet its the symptoms getting to you--can you remember a time not-so-far-off when bloat and pregger-tummies didnt overtake your mind? if so--then just tell youself that with each day that passes, youre one day closer to your old self i keep that in mind whenever im feeling blue you sound like you maintain a very healthy lifestyle, so keep that up! it will only reap benefits hang in there!!! peace~
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VEGAN ASHLEY~IBS/C
www.myspace.com/dutchflowers
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