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Thanks for your reply..
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with your stepfather, and that makes total sense why you would have issues with aggressive people. I was never abused but also hate aggressive people, and I espically hate being snapped at! I also get really messed up from relationships with men, I can't eat when I date them and espically when we break up, and often get loose BMs, etc.
It is cool to meet another sensitive extrovert. I call myself an introverted extrovert- I love people but I seek out very intimate emotional relationships with individuals. I love the world of feelings and I love sharing that world with others.
You do sound pretty hardcore in those other ways! And I admire that you are such a strong role model for children. Congrats on being able to handle being a teacher- I was an afterschool teacher and had to quit that job because of stress!
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Thanks for all the sweet things you've said.
I know what you mean about OSC teachers- I've done that and daycare teaching too, and it doesn't remotely compare!! I ran a dayhome and was almost SUICIDAL after that 4 months. The baby I took in was my daughter's age and cried CONSTANTLY. I researched like a maniac to try to "help" her but i finally gave up because I couldn't handle the crying and my hubby being angry about getting no sleep(he owns a restaurant and works nights) and the kid was awful and the parents were Nazis. 
ANYHOW!!!! It lasted four months. So did my daycare stint, LOL.
As for the stepfather from he!!, he was gone when I was 10, so it's residual but it wasn't lifelong, thank God.
Yeah, i know what you mean about sharing feelings- my friends have always been super extroverted, and when i married my Dh, I got out of the party scene and lost a lot of friends. Now I'm in this new city and have few friends, and of course, being someone qwho craves that "best friendship", it drives me NUTS that I am a substitute teacher who never gets a place of work to go to every day...and that my DH works nights andf weekends, so there's no "couples nights" etc...etc...It will get better, but just like you, I'm sorta stymied in life too.
I want to have another baby, but till I get a full time teaching job we can't afford to. We want to buy a house, but till i get that contract, we can't afford to. I can't ge5t a teaching job when there are none out here, and we can't move ecause my DH has just invested a ton in his restaurant. AUGHHH!!!It makes me insane. The worst part is there's nothing I can do to make it better beyond what I have done. Teaching jobs find YOU, not vice versa. I've applied for each one I see, and just have to wait till it comes. i'm a very outgoing person who's so willing to do what it takes, and the principals out there see that, but they can't give jobs they don't have. So stupid. 
OK, I'm done now. What a rant. And I wonder why I'm in gut agony today.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Cyndy
#183538 - 06/04/05 07:40 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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As much as I agree with you that Tinkerbelle would do better if she had stuff to do away from IBS, I hate anyone discouraging anyone from posting! She's had genuine questions and that's fine...if you feel stressed by her stress, then don't read all her posts at once. Educating yourself is a big part of the healing process...some people need to jump in at the deep end and can only move on once they can't think of anything more to ask! 
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Soooooo glad to see you back...I hated that you went away. 
You sound you're doing really well...working FT - wow! Good for you. 
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Hi Linz, thanks for that post, I appreciate it! Today I drew a picture, read, did some yoga and danced, all at home, but it's a start. I also went to Whole Foods which was a fun outing... so I'm trying!
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Great start! I've never been to Whole Foods. Did you get some yummy, IBS-safe treats?
Cute pic, by the way!
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it didn't come out the way I meant it too! I wrote Tinkerbelle again lower down in the thread to encourage her to keep posting.
I was having a rough day and when I logged on I was already sort of stressed and I could tell Tinkerbelle was too. You know how when you are around stressed people you get more stressed and when you are around calm people you tend to calm down?
I apologize that my post came across the wrong way. I just felt all this stress when I saw 5 posts all started at once from the same person. Sorry again. I hope no one is mad. I certainly didn't mean to discourage anyone from posting.
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Baby steps, sweetie...baby steps. The first thing I ever did when I was in a Fibro-hermit-rut was go for a 5 minute walk straight up the road and back! Was a tiny thing, but made a hell of a difference. Trips to HFSs are a good way to make yourself get outside....and everything you did at home sounds very therapeutic! 
PS. Maria's right, you are such a cutie!
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S'ok!
#183547 - 06/04/05 07:51 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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I just get a bit worried about that kind of thing now. And Tinkerbelle's a sweetie!
PS. It's kinda my fault she got into a posting-swing - I was answering back for ages when I should've been doing something useful around the house! 
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Thanks for being so kind and supportive of me! I went out tonight for a few hours with my best friend as a favor to her (we've both been going through depression and not wanting to go out), but it was also good for me. I felt tired and physically unwell the whole time, but at least I was out and got to meet some nice people, and I got my mind at least half way off my body! It's a good start for an ex-socialite!
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