Any Moms of IBS Kids out there?
#176824 - 05/05/05 08:56 AM
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Lilac
Reged: 12/08/04
Posts: 7
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I have a 15 yo son who is so miserable with IBS symptoms when he goes to school. It's so embarrasing for him to be in the bathroom for long periods of time, and is causing him not only physical pain, but mental anquish as well. When he is home he can manage it, but stress induces the pain and he is pretty much isolating himself into the house now. Has given up his music lessons, won't go out with the family, and school is excrutiating for him. We have modified his diet and that has helped a lot, but this pain is definately a result of anxiety. We have tried anxiety meds, but no luck.
I've ordered the self-hypnosis CDs and we are going to try that next.
My question is how do we handle the school? They are trying to understand, and have temporarily modified his school day, but he is still suffering so much and they expect him to go back to full days on Monday. Has anyone had any luck dealing with the school?
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My 10-year-old son was diagnosed in the last month. Before that, he missed about a month of school while we were trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He just has pain with some other associated symptoms, but no D or C, so he doesn't have the embarrassment issues, thank goodness.
I met with our school guidance counselor and she recommended going through a 504 or ES process; I believe the 504 is federal and the ES is state-based, but they are similar. They are designed to support a student that is going through something that disrupts some aspect of their schooling. For example, a kid with a badly broken leg may need some kind of accommodation to get the most possible out of school. There is no money attached to this to pay for private tutors or anything like that, but in Vermont anyway, the school is legally obligated to provide for kids with medical difficulties. We only had one initial meeting, so I don't really know what our options will be.
It sounds like this is a very difficult time for you and your son. I wish you the best of luck.
-Annika
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i don't have kids, but i'm 26 and i remember suffering in high school... it feels like yesterday, ugh! i think that fiber could help a lot, and fennel/peppermint teas. i have a post on the fiber that helped me, but everyone's different. get the acacia fiber though, and tell him to cut out the fats. try to get him stablized. (there's a list of "stuff to eat when you can't eat anything". it helped me for the first few days for sure.)
actually, for me the worst part wasn't even the IBS itself, but the embarrasment and shame i felt from it. i totally understand the never wanting to go out w/ friends and stuff... it's awful. and i mean, when you're 15 you really feel uncomfortable talking to your friends about what's up... i mean, i couldn't even tell boyfriends why i'd suddenly want to go home or couldn't go out that day or whatever... i mean, now i don't even care anymore. my friends all know i go to the bathroom more than most people, and i can't eat certain stuff, but it's like, when you're 15 the thing you don't or can't realize is, NO ONE CARES!!! if i had known that when i was 15, my life would have been SO much different.
the thing is, once i started talking about it, the more i realized a LOT of people have digestion problems, and they're all so embarrassed about it that often just finally talking about it makes you feel so much better! seriously, have him come on the boards and talk to people. it really helped me about a year ago; i was feeling suicidal and just being able to talk to others with the same crappy intestines (no pun intended) was so comforting.
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Thank you so much. What a nice post. I will print it out for him. I have asked him to come here and read, but he's embarrassed. I think if he knew another guy that had the problem he'd feel so much better. But he does complain that he is the only person who has all these problems. And being in a small town and a small school doesn't help. I think your post will help him feel less alone. Thanks so much.
Edited by Lilac (05/06/05 12:07 PM)
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Thanks for your post. I'm sorry your son also has to deal with this. My son does have an IEP for another medical condition, but they are having a hard time understanding that he is in pain, not trying to avoid school. It's such a fine line between letting him stay home and risk him getting comfortable with that situation and making him go to school and suffer all day.
I am meeting with the GI doctor on Monday, so I'm hoping he will consider a letter to the school about modified schedule or homebound instruction. We only have 5 weeks left to go!
Good luck with your son. I hope he finds relief.
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Lilac, My 11 year old son was diagnosed in March. (IBS-C)
He missed lots of school until he was stable. We worried that he might have to repeat the 5th grade because he fell so far behind. We were just at the point of arranging for a tutor when we discovered this site and the combination of this diet and medication (antispasmodics, acid blocker) made all the difference in the world. He has been back in school full time for almost 2 months now with only a few days out due to a bad attack. There weren't many people at school who were very helpful or understanding. But it got to the point that I didn't care what they thought....my son's health was the most important issue. How can they expect someone to do well in school...or even go to school for that matter, unless they felt well? My son is a "worrier" and this stress aggravated his symptoms. Anyway, I can really feel for you and your son. The important thing now is to help him become stable. Then he may be a little more comfortable about school and/or outside activities. The hypnosis route is a good idea. As for dealing with the school, I'm not sure I can be much help. Different districts have different rules. Have you checked into having a tutor come?
Good luck with it all...please let us know how you're both doing.
CK
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