Feeling embarrased
#16324 - 08/05/03 11:05 AM
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Fia
Reged: 07/21/03
Posts: 56
Loc: Sweden
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I've read both shawneric's and airplanegirl's messages today and thought about toilet habits. A piece of me is actually jealous of airplane girl cause she can "crap" without having to feel embarrassed . :o But I wouldn't give up my lovely family just so that I don't have to feel embarrassed. I've always hated to go to the toilet when someone is right outside the door. If I was a guy it would be OK but girls just don't do "it". Recently I've tried hade to be open to my partner about what I'm doing in there, I just say "please take care of the baby, I'm going to read Garfield in the bathroom". It was to hard trying to hide it from him and everyone else. Who can pretend to take a shower or brush ones teeth's five times a day?! I've even put up a picture with a comedy that yokes about my biggest fear - that he hears what I'm doing.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Fia
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Fia - I know exactly what you mean. Unfortunately, I believe this is one of the main causes that brought on my IBS anyway.  I could never "go" when soemeone was around. I mean physically coudn't. I really did try. And then one night it just felt like something "ripped" in my left side. blah blah blah...I won't go into all detail, but yeah, I know what you mean.
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I understand too, for me it's mostly the embarassment of having to go so often and for so long. My family doesn't understand and my roommates just look at me funny because it seems like i'm always going to the bathroom. Luckily this coming semester I only have 2 roommates instead of 4, still with a bathroom with very thin walls. 
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I know the feeling!
At work is the worst....the bathroom is right above my bosses office .... if everyone is out of the office it is no big deal.... unless I don't have time  to turn the phones over to the answering service....then I have to listen for the phone and hope I'm finished... 
When out shopping... I KNOW where the bathrooms are.... and in some cases I know the employees that have to let me in the back and wait for me to come out. I'm sure they want to run the other way when they see me.......(even if I'm NOT going to ask them)  And if I'm with my Hubby.... he just points to the direction of the bathroom and says "I'll watch the cart".... then I pray nobody is going to be in the stall next to me!! I carry a small book of word searchs and a pen in my purse.... so, when I'm in a place I feel embarrassed... I take that out and try to take my mind off of it. I does help!!
The CLOSE family members know that when I say I need to find a restroom that means NOW!! And usually they just give me space.... unless we are at a rest stop or something and they want to take advantage of the stop too.
I will be going to my In-laws home for our 1st Christmas this year.... not sure how that will go over.
At home it is no problem at all....... just tell hubby, "I'll be needing some reading material" and he KNOWS he will not be seeing me for a while 
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I too understand your feelings of embarassment. I also think this bought on my IBS. I use to be constipated all the time because I would hold it til I got home then I couldn't go.
I recently went on a Christian Weekend Retreat and was under attack the entire weekend. I had my nerves in a frazzle too. Kept having people knocking on door asking if I was okay...Then the toilet got stopped up.......It was horrible. But since then I feel if you gotta go...you gotta go.......I will never suppress it again. It only makes it worse.
It is a normal function. Some of us just partake in it more often. God bless
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Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; Psalm 55:22
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I understand how you feel. Although I have no trouble at all going at home because that's my home. I doesn't embarrass me because my husband knows that IBS causes this problem.
When we first started dating though - urggg I hated it...I was so scared of him hearing me. But I used to turn up the TV "Said I didn't want to miss the program" Then I knew he wouldn't be able to hear me in there.
Public is where I have to most trouble because I am scared people will just think I am rude for not waiting until I get home to do "that" But I have learnt that when you gotta go, you gotta go and it doesn't matter anymore to me. I have had to use a mens washroom for pete sakes. I pretty don't mind anywhere ha!
I hope you are able to get over this soon. You really need to relax when you are at home about it. Your partner loves you and will not judge you because of your IBS!
Good luck!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Shell - good luck with the trip to the in-laws at Christmas. I can relate. Last year I had to go with my fiance to visit his family. I hated it! Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they only have one bathroom, and a gazillion people over for the holidays. Last year the plumbing was acting up and you couldn't even flush from the evening before we left until right before we left the next am.  Do you know what that is like for an IBS-Der - trust me, you don't even want to imagine! Luckily their house is surrounded by plenty of woods - just in case! 
When we go back, I'm sure it will be better since this time around I'm armed with Heather's diet & my hypno & lots more info than last year. I'm sure you will be fine since you found Heather's diet too. 
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One of the ways I "told" my family about my problems was to leave Heather's book on the sink in the bathroom. Looks like everyone read it because suddenly my whole family was asking questions and urging me to see the doctor. 
What was embarassing for me was living in a girl's dorm for 4 years at college. 4 bathroom stalls to 65 girls!!!! And though it is rare I feel like actually going, when I need to I need to go right then. I told some friends- some understood, others thought it was just sooo funny. When they saw me walking to the bathroom (sometimes running...) they would say "It's about time! What's it been? Like 10 days now?" Then they actually marked on a calendar for a month to see how often I went since it was just sooo funny.  They also told others and soon it was a girl's dorm joke. "Oh no, Sarah's in here. Better go now cause the stall won't be available for another hour!" Needless to say, since graduation I have not spoken to them. Nor plan to.
This year I have my own bathroom. Although I did find out (from a fellow sufferer at college who actually introduced me to the term IBS) that I could have applied for a dorm room with a private toilet since my college considers IBS and Crohn's a disability. They give you a private bathroom (though there are few rooms like this) and a handicap parking pass in case you need to go right then and can't find a parking spot. Wish I had known for the 4 years I was there. Now I know to ask. Although my IBS diagnosis is not official yet so I wouldn't necessarily qualify....
But I find that a major step in recognizing IBS- an entire campus devoted to our convenience! YAY!
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I get the most horrible gas sometimes and on my first date with my boyfriend (5 years ago!) I got a huge gas bubble and tried to hold it in with all my might. Well, it finally won and I let out the biggest fart in his tiny truck. I was mortified, but when he saw my face, he strained and produced one of his own!! Then he said something like, "You won. But I'm glad we got that out of the way early in our relationship! That is supposed to be a milestone." Can you see why I am hanging on to him?
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Thanks Mags....
I'm sure I will be fine. There are two bathrooms and one is connected to the room we be staying in. So, there can be lots of reasons for me to go to the room Now, that is at my Father In-laws....I'm not sure what will be at the Mother In-laws as they are remodeling right now.
But, I do have Heather....and I've learned a lot in a very short time from her. Plus, I will have some experience with traveling next weekend for our 1st anniversary too
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www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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