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Hi there,
First I just wanted to say Hello and Welcome to this site. I really hope that the information and feedback you get here will really help you to improve your quality of life.
Okay, first I wanted to agree with what Casey (atomic rose) said about salad - I would call myself at times 'fairly stable' and there is NO WAY I would eat a salad! I don't know for sure if it is a problem for you, but I would do as Casey said and cut out all raw veggies for a while.
Secondly, have you ever been on amitryptiline? That's what I got put on in UK (I lived there for 2 years until recently) by my GI doc and noticed a big improvement with both my anxiety and my D. At the same time, he also put me on Celevac tablets, which you can get over the counter and they seemed to help me quite a bit as well.
Third, if you have something you really would like to go to.. what stops you? Is it pain or D or the anxiety? I ask because if it's D (which often leads to anxiety, I know!) then you and I are sometimes in the same boat and I remedy that sometimes by just taking some good ol' Immodium. Immodium advanced, I think it is called, also says it helps gas symptoms as well so you might want to give that a shot if you haven't already. In fact, when I was working in the UK and was far from stable, I took Immodium every day until I started to get stable (and got the meds from my GI doc). If the full dose is too much for you, you can also get it in liquid form and just take enough to help you stabalise.
Have you ever tried going on the 'What to Eat when you Can't Eat Anything' Diet for a few days? This might help your tummy calm down before you think about adding other things into your diet. Are you still excluding wheat, by the way? Just curious. I know a lot of stuff on that diet have wheat in them so it might be a little more difficult, but it shouldn't be too too bad.
Sometimes hypnotherapy is something you really have to work at - Like going through a program more than once before you see any real results. Actually being able to calm your mind down and get the benefits from it takes a long time of 'training your mind' but then is often really effective. On the same note, have you ever tried yoga? Yoga may help you with any pain, gas, or anxiety that you are feeling. Again, the meditation part of yoga is something that takes a lot of training so don't give up if you don't see results right away!!
Have you ever considered going to see a psychologist/psychiatrist? It might really help you get some things off your chest person to person. If you can vent to someone, you might feel like a weigh has been lifted and it's not there when you are around other people (ie your girlfriend).
Okay, so about your girlfriend. This is a really hard situation, I know. A lot of us have had problems with partners or with the concept of dating for exactly all the reasons that you mentioned. It is really hard to find someone who is completely understanding to all our needs. I don't really know what to say to fix your situation with your girlfriend because here is my take on it: Before you can worry about other relationships, you need to focus on making yourself well. I know you are already doing that, and it seems like you have really put a lot of effort in so that's awesome. Then if you are in a relationship, you need to be totally honest with each other. These are my limitations, and these are how I feel about your limitations. If they are too much for her, she may need to take some space from you and that's not your fault and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years now, and I know how it feels to have to always say no to going out to the pub and stuff - it used to make me just devestated. Eventually, we had to have the big talk about how HE felt about all that and it turns out that he can deal with it. That put my mind at ease because then it was one less thing for me to constantly stress and have anxiety about. Otherwise, that anxiety is just adding to the problem and making it even harder for you to get stable. If he had said that he couldn't deal with it, that it was too much, or that it was making him too miserable I don't know what I would have done. I'd like to say I could just let him go, but I know that he is one of my biggest supports so I'm not sure that I could...
I think the first thing you need to do is to try and find ways of dealing with your anxiety - I am SURE that if you do, your stomach will see some improvement. Once that is all dealt with, THEN I think you can focus on your girlfriend but for now you need to try and focus on YOU! It's not being selfish, or anything like that, it is making you able to live a happier life which you have every right to!!
Good luck, we'll be here for you to help in any way that we can!
Oh, by the way are you near London? I ask because I saw a GI doctor at Farnborough hospital called Dr. Asante (GI doc) and he was EXCELLENT.
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Have a talk someimte with no pressure and tell her that she can really help you just by doing little things. It took my DH a while to realise this, but he's been wonderful. Ask her if she'd read Heather's book...it can help explain alot. And say you really want to try and beat this and you'd love it if she could help you.
Just a few thoughts. My hubby got very good at being my food police...if he saw me going to eat something bad, he'd go "do you really want to be eating that?" and that helped. Also, he got really into discovering new safe foods and finding helpful places we could go out to.
I know it's hard, but it's very important that you don't let the IBS dominate your life. Relaxing and having fun will actually help the IBS as well.
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For me and I probably am recommending it but I don't really, when I cut off alot of my social life and backed off into the house, I let myself forget things.. dwell on past situations, mostly about me and who I am and what can I do to make things better. Trial and error will tell you in time what you need to do, and it's only these little steps that will help you. I was and still am to a point consious of my breathing, sometimes feeling like I need to calm down and in a way my mind makes my body contrict my breathing making me that much worse.
It's hard to explain but the train situation you explained yeah i've done it, I've done a 'hard' thing once and dared and done it and the feelings disappated, next day im panicking in mind if im ok etc over that same situation and its like asif I went backwards instead of forwards. To me that was when I knew I was insecure, I use to keep thinking 'god I hope no one sees me like this' like really laboured and panic looking(if I was, I dont know!). I was pretty paranoid after those initial situations that I didn't look normal anymore to passing people!
You asked me on the other forum about meds if I had taken any, I did briefly go on anti depressants but I was too put off with the effects after just 1 weekend. I went on beta blockers though reluctantly, did they help or didnt they.. I've never been sure, they do not affect mental state at all, merely stop your body over reacting I think. I can see alot of great uses for them in certain situations. Interviews, busy places etc. I was on them every day for many months but soon wanted off them. There was a fear that a situation without them wasnt handalable but you make your own personal adjustments on how to deal with it, even if you make a step backwards just to get off them.
More to the point, I just started over I suppose, hence the point I didnt go outside hardly.. became completely independant very slowly, and built up from just doing simple yet hard things for me, going to the shop.. becoming comfortable with that, going to a slightly further shop - as time went on and it was hard to relax even still.. really thats where one of my old school friends came into play and I hanged around with him, I explained bits and bobs to him but I think its very hard for people to understand. Anyway that took alot of focus and worry out the way when I was out, I could relax and have a laugh and take mind of things, even if I did worry alittle he could speak about anything and it'd draw my attention away. I suppose a part was the worrying and having the mind on it. Gradually became more comfortable. I wasn't working during this long period and nor was he, a very laid back person(even lazy in a way!). Things just built up, I was struggling to think I could handle a job until I found the right one that I was comfortable with.. and I just gradually and still am now becoming alot more secure, even going into shopping centres and clubbing I do. I'm still not as independant as I was, like going into a shopping centre by myself. It's something im not pushing myself to do, I'm pretty comfortable with a large slice of my life thats the main thing and one day i'll come to it.
I think a large part of it is just the worrying and making a big deal out of things. If you go in there more relaxed and casual it tends to be alot better. Infact going back to that train situation(or anything close I see it like this).
I view it as first situation : relaxed, thinking if i feel uneasy i can turn back least ive tried and come out.
second situation : am i feeling as relaxed, how am i feeling, am i ok like last time?
In short i'd say your too busy worrying about comparing it to the first situation and that's why it just doesnt seem any better.
Anyway I hope this helps if theres anything you'd like to ask please let me know.
I'd summarise that whole chunk and say it's really just being comfortable with yourself again and it takes time. Old friend's go a long way to helping though.
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Hey, Roid
Your post really hit home in some aspects. I developed IBS while in university and can still remember the day it happened.
I know what you mean about the panic attacks. I used to get that feeling of dread that you described and felt uncomfortable discussing it with anybody. As a result, I withdrew from my neighbors in the dorm. Any emotional connections that I had previously were severed. I thought that every sleep would be my last.
I endured this for over a year. At first it consumed 95% of my idle thoughts. Then 90. Then 85. Etcetera. Then 10. Then 5%. And finally I was able to suppress it.
So I am pulling for you. Do something to get your mind off it! Stick with it and you will get through it.
Keep trying to get your stomach under control. Believe it will happen. My stomach still gets the best of me at times, but it is 10x better than it was a year ago.
Last, DON'T SABOTAGE YOURSELF!!! I'm gonna say it again -- don't sabotage yourself! If you keep giving your G/F the impression that you aren't good enough for her then you will lose her. Do not use IBS as an excuse for not trying new things.
Keep at it. I'm pretty sure that many of us here have felt defeated by this debilitating condition, but found the courage to deal with it and eventually rise above it.
Best of luck, man
EvilCats
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Its weird because 6 months ago i felt i had everything under control. My ibs wasnt causing me problems, my bms were usually normalish and i was getting on with my life.
But then thr whole anxiety thing hit, and everything fell apart. Sometimes i think i may not suffer from ibs at all, and all my problems are anxiety / stress related. But i guess the two are so closely linked that i'll never be sure.
I'm going to mention amitryptiline to the docs when i go tuesday, it seems like it has helped alot of anxiety / ibs-d sufferers. Seems like the best one to try first. I know when i went last time, she mentioned prozac, but after reading here and from various other resources, it looks like that might not suit me, as it has D side effects.
I'll keep you all updated, and thanks for the advice and support. It's comforting to know ppl i dont even know can take a little time from their day to try and help little old me.
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Oh forgot to mention the med I was actually on(the beta blocker) was Propanalol
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Thats what i've just come off, didnt really do anything for me!
I've just read most of treatment called the 'linden method', which is written by someone who suffered with anxiety for 8 years, but managed to beat it.
Its made me think quite seriously about not going onto anti depressants. Maybe its just his evocative writing, but alot of what he says does make sense. At the end of the day anti-depressants just masking the anxiety, like a band aid over an ingrowing toe-nail. It doesnt address the underlying problem. So im going to have to have a good chat with my gp i think.
One one hand, going on ad's would hopefully take the edge of my anxiety and thus allow me do more things and build confidence etc, but would i then begin to rely on them to be happy? Would the anxiety return as soon as i ceased the ad's? I guess i wont know until i try them, but run the risk of nasty side effects.
Or do i continue as i am, and have been for the past 6 months, and hope that by continualy pushing myself i will eventually beat it.
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Everyone seems to have answered your questions, not much more I can add except I know about the wind and I know about how traumatic it is when you are with someone that may possibly take offense to it! I have to let my wind out or I get VERY bad pains and it just gets worse and worse. We could be wind buddies!! 
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This morning a family friend, who has been taking reiki lessons came round and gave me going over. I must say it was very relaxing, and the heat from her hands suprised me.
Reiki is a Japanese form of alternative healing, which involved her holding her hands on part of my body, channeling the energy or something. I dont pretend to understand whats going on really.
After the session i did feel really relaxed and calm, which was good. I had been warned there may be some reaction from my body ( from the release of toxins i think), and i did suffer an attack of D, but not til about 7 hours after. Maybe it was conincidence, but i hadn't eaten anything strange or more anxious than usual. Weird, but im going to give it another go soon!
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...of a-d's being prescribed for panic-attack type anxiety before. They certainly helped me cope more easily, but I wasn't having big anxiety issues to start with.
Glad the reiki helped. I'd really recommend yoga too, even if for no other rason than the breathing techniques you learn are very helpful in stressful/panicky situations.
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