How did you exsplain IBS to others?
#154239 - 02/25/05 04:19 PM
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I think the books I bought address this somewhere.
Haven't read it yet.
I am still very shy bout my IBS.
I'm still in the "NO, I can't come. Something I ate didn't agree with me" phaze.
When and how do you openly admit this?
And to whom?
When people ask what is IBS, how do you describe it and exsplain it to where they GET how serious this is?
I hate that my inlaws think I have a social anexiety problem, or am lazy or am just making hubby do stuff I can't. My MIL was once a nurse long ago back when IBS type stuff was considered "all in their head".
Any advice on what to say?
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I tell people that I have chronic stomach disorder so there are certain things I can't eat and that I need to be very careful with my health as a result. Some people it takes some emphatic "No, I will get sick and I don't want to do that to myself" to get the point through to them, but I'd rather have offend someone than make myself sick!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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family and close friends I've been honest and specific with.. coworkers and not so close friends I mention food allergies (I am allergic to dairy) and I treat the other foods that set me off as allergens to them... most people if you mention having multiple food allergies get much more understanding of your being picky about food.. a few coworkers who comment that I wear dresses when we have a relaxed dress code at work and I am friends with I have told that eating the wrong thing bloats me and a few have even seen it on days I've worn pants so they understand! it works... as to the rest- I have a medical note about a chronic bowel condition on file so bathroom runs won't affect job performance in a stats oriented company, but otherwise I just cope and try to avoid making a big deal out of things.
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I just flat out tell them I have IBS. Doesn't bother me one bit nor am I embarassed about it. You will be surprised how many people know what it is or even have it! And when they ask what it is I say Irritable Bowel Syndrome and that speaks for itself. Usually they don't want to know any more!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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This has come up not so long ago I think but it was in terms of dating. It's here if you're interested (my post is there too somewhere). Hope this helps.
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Amy
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I am very open about my UC. As a result several co-workers came to me and admitted they have the same problem. One girl told me that she was so happy about how open I was (I make a lot of jokes about it) that she felt comfortable enough to confide in me. As a result we had a small group of IBS and UC sufferers support group at work. Others who had to go for colonoscopys or began to experience problems came to us for advice. The best thing you can do is be open and honest about it - people will understand, ask questions, read up on it and try to help. Prayer is a great remedy too. Good health to you. If your MIL was a nurse maybe she can help you out, direct her to web sites that can explain it isnt all in people's heads - open up to her privately - it will improve your relationship. In defense of the all in your head people - I thought my problem may be all in my head too - it isn't, its the other end (LOL). Feel well.
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I have told all my friends. They know that I have IBS which means I have a restricted "diet" and that I occasioanlly have bad tummy days. They aren't grossed out or anything. They feel bad for me.
My family knows.
My work does not know. I got called into my head bosses office yesterday because I missed too many sick days last year. I told him that I had a condition last year that was really bad and that's why I missed so much time. He stopped me right there and told me it was none of his business and I didn't have to tell him. So I didn't and never will. But taht's your choice to make. I didn't get in trouble at all. He just laughed about these new absenteeism rules and told me to never worry that they would never ever fire me. YAY to that! 
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I wish I had your boss. Mine is constantly on the verge of firing me. If I wasn't so very good at what I do I know I'd have been gone the first six months. Yet I'm still hanging on after three years. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't send him an email and just tell him "Look I have this condition that puts me down sometimes." But then I remember what a jerk he is and I don't bother.
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Sometimes I walk backwards to see where I have been!
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This has been one of the hardest parts of the IBS for me. The people I currently work for know what I have and its surprising how many people that work there actually have IBS as well, but aren't even aware or doing anything about it. I'm moving jobs soon and am a bit worried about having to tell them, but to be honest, if they have a problem with it, then thats up to them - best to be honest I reckon, yes, it can be a bit embarrassing, but sticking up for yourself and being strong is the best and only way! Helps with going out for meals with them! My family aren't very aware of what happens and they still are asking "can you eat that" or say "oh, sorry you can't eat that can you" and it rubs me up the wrong way each time - I want them to understand; but I guess its going to take a bit more time!
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I told the people at work thinking it would relieve some pressure for me (in case I have to use the bathroom), but now I am constantly worried that I am going to have to use the bathroom and excuse myself from a conversation with someone...I think because they know, I am constantly trying to prove myself healthy. Does anyone have any advice for me on how I can look at this situation differently?
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Brochure
#154408 - 02/26/05 08:25 AM
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Kree
Reged: 10/08/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Northern NY
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This brochure answers that very question...
web page
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"Anyone can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline." -Garfield
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Thanks Kree!
#154419 - 02/26/05 08:59 AM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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I'm going to print this out when I go back to work Monday!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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That brochure is great!! Thanks for the link Kree!
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I basically say the exact same thing. My friends all know what I have, and nobody has ever made me feel embarassed. My family has been AMAZING, and my sisters-in-law both always make sure they serve at least one thing I can eat. My bf knows and is totally sympathetic, as long as I leave out the details. I think most people would not appreciate hearing the details of you symptoms, but would also be pretty understanding if you just say exactly what Melissa and I say "I have a chronic stomach problem that is usually under control, and sometimes isn't." I had to use that exact line today, when I missed a group thing at my law school. I felt bad for leaving my group hanging, but I explained that I couldn't leave the house. 'Nuff said. Everyone has had D, everyone wishes it would never happen again. If someone ever presses me, I will tell them I have IBS. I am not ashamed of it because I didn't choose to be this way. Most people will either say "oh" and leave it, or say they've never heard of it and ask questions out of pure curiosity, which I don't mind answering. I've almost never had someone say "ew gross" or tell me that it was all in my head. Most people are pretty cool. I am careful not to get all "poor me," because I think people tire of that act pretty quickly. I try to make light of it, and say something like yeah when I'm sick I really feel awful, but I control it by watching what I eat very carefully, and I generally feel great! And I try to smile the whole time I talk about it -- which may seem weird but I think it makes it easier for people.
For your close friends or family, you might consider having them listen to the fourth disk on the IBS Audio Program 100. (It's a hypnotherapy program that has helped a lot of us. Info is on the Hypno board). The last disk is specifically to explain IBS to others. Be warned, though -- it's pretty graphic. This is only for people who won't get grossed out, and who really need to know the details of your illness in order to help you get through each day. Because you MIL has a medical background, maybe this would be a good way of explaining to her, since it's pretty technical and talks about all the tests and the symptoms and everything. Also, sit down and read through Heather's The First Year IBS. There is a particular line in it that says something like even though the symptoms may be caused by your brain sending the wrong signals, the pain is very real and not in your head. You might say something to your MIL like, I don't know what is making me sick, maybe it is my stress or something emotional, but the symptoms are very real and I'm making an effort to control them. Maybe that will help, since she'll still get to believe that the IBS is psychologically related (and it very well may be), but she'll also have to accept that no matter what the cause, you legitimately do feel ill, and she's in a position to help you.
Alright, I've rambled enough. Very good luck to you.
Panda
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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That's too bad. What an awful feling thinking that you could get fired at any moment. I would be very hard to replace and I think my boss knows that. I think yours probablt does too or, like you said, you would have been fired in teh first 6 months.
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welcome to the ibs board. now for being shy about ibs around people and relatives. i have the same problem. some people understand what ibs is and some people dont get what it means. or what ibs people go threw in life. i would suggest have them read about ibs, so they can get the pitcure. hope this information can help you. jasper
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ive had ibs for 8 years now. im learning alot on this web board. thanks again everyone
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Hi there Toilet prisoner,
Dont be so disheartened. We are all with you. First and foremost you have to get it into your head that IBS is not a disease but a change of lifestyle. There is nothing to be ashamed of and all you have to do is tell your friends that there are certain foods that dont agree with you and this is a common thing with thousands of people. Then when you go out you make sure you eat only the food you are allowed to eat or which agrees with you. Dont eat too much when you go out. You have to also make sure that at every meal you dont drink liquids inbetween and wait for an hour after meal to take liquids. This will help in not getting gas. Buy some fennel seeds, roast them and keep them in small bottles at home, in your bag and in the office. Chew on these after meals or if you feel like in between. Avoid spicy foods, deep fried foods, milk and its products and any other gassy food. Try this out and drink plenty of herbal tea.
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