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i've had ibs since i was about 6 or 7, although we think it might have been since birth as i was a very colicky baby. anyway, it's great that he's diagnosed & you've come here to get some support. one of the best things about heather's stuff (the books are fantastic) is that food can be really fun and yummy without creating problems afterwards. i think a good 12-year old meal would have to be home-made pizza. no cheese, no red meat, just take a pizza base, add tomato paste, maybe some chicken/turkey/roast vegies & whatever other non-dairy, non-red meat things he likes & hopefully that'll be a way of showing that eating variations of old favourites can be quite good too. just a quick caveat, not everyone can tolerate all foods, but red meat & dairy are big triggers, so cross fingers that something like that pizza will be ok. the recipe index should also give you some pointers.
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That was great advice Sara!!
I have a son who is ADHD and deals with sensory issues and he is 7. We (my husband and I) know certain foods can trigger an attack which causes him to become out of control. Our child use to cry for 2-3 hours and it took a lot of our own reseach to figure out why. Doctors typically don't understand how foods can affect people.
To make a long story short, our son now knows which foods he can not eat and understands why. Last Valentines Day at school he told his teacher he couldn't eat the cookies, because it had red color in it.
It take time for children to understand and just be patient and understanding with your child. 
Barbara
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Here's some ideas for kid friendly foods that might help. Try Jenni O Turkey hot dogs the whole family likes them.
There are soy cheese sticks I found them at the grocery store. Let him eat soy delicious ice cream.
Yogurt is good as well. Be sure to look for live active culture on the label. Note yogurt has a binding effect so don't eat to much!! You can make home made mac & cheese with soy cheese. Make hamburgers out of lean ground turkey. Home made potato fries that are baked not fried are really good. (My son likes Sweet Potato fries.) Make home made muffins for sweet snacks. I found soy milk in the pint conatiners. That would be good for a lunch box. We found turkey ham at Wal Mart, it tastes o.k.
Once you learn the boundaries of eating safely you will find that your kid will be at ease with his food limitations. If you came to dinner at my house you would not notice that we are eating a primarily souluable diet.
This is how we manage the dinner table as my husband has IBS_D. We base all of our family meals around what dad can eat. Veggies and other not so safe foods are served on the side instead of mixed in with the dish that is served.
All desserts, snacks are made or based with safe ingredients. I hope this helps a little, Michaela
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