Dating & IBS
#132997 - 12/26/04 01:04 PM
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shandy
Reged: 12/21/04
Posts: 85
Loc: Alabama
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I've recently re-entered the dating world (so far so good), but how on earth do you explain to a new prospect about your eating requirements? First dates are almost always centered on food/drink/coffee and I don't want to scare everyone off by my high maintenance food issues! And, my guess is that a discussion of your digestion challenges (or worse, an explanation of what IBS stands for) isn't going to get things started off on the right foot...
Along with this question, has anyone come up with a quick & easy way to explain the IBS diet to people who are marginally interested? My family always asks how I'm doing with my food sensitivities and I'd like to update them, but haven't quite figured out how to explain WHY a diet centered on soluble fiber works so well??!!
Ideas???
Jen
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Jennifer
42 years old
Neither D nor C - just sluggish
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I don't know... I've always gone by the less is more approach, and I always said on the first date that I have "stomach problems" and a restricted diet because of it. If they want to know more, they'll ask, but usually they don't until a few more dates into it.  And by the way, I've had IBS since I was a pre-teen, so I've ALWAYS mentioned it on the first date.... and through 2 husbands and a bunch of boyfriends, NONE of them have had a problem with it.
As for the family... all I can say is good luck.  I adore my family, but I haven't even *attempted* to explain the diet and why it works - I just give them the rundown of what I can't eat, and remind them that it's never going to change. LOL! Actually, knowing how to cook for me when I visit has been good enough for them - they don't care about the "why", so I'm definitely not going to be any help there. 
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Excellent advice... "stomach problems" and "restricted diet" are terms I can get into. I've always said I had food allergies which works well too (and was the truth as I knew it). Do you have any suggestions for first date safe places to eat? Sushi would work, any others? I'm GF and terribly intolerant to soy too, so where d'ya get plain rice and a sweet potato???
Jennifer
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Jennifer
42 years old
Neither D nor C - just sluggish
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I've had some of my best luck at diners and American-food-chain-type-restaurants like Ground Round and Applebees. Actually, if you have a Ground Round, I've found those to be the best, because they have fairly plain grilled chicken on the menu, so there's very little you have to ask for in the way of modifications. The other places, you can usually find that sort of dinner and ask for sauces on the side, and a baked potato or rice instead of mashed, etc. I know it's not exactly a romantic restaurant sort of place, but... well, you have to go with what's safe. And believe it or not, diners are VERY accomodating - I've gotten excellent fish/chicken and baked potato dinners at diners, prepared with no oil or butter, and the waitresses didn't even make me feel like a tool for asking for something special.
I also have really good luck with Indian food, but if you've never had it, or haven't had it recently (and therefore know that it's safe for you), I wouldn't risk it on a first date. The second or third one, though...
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I was actually wondering this as well. especailly for weekends away with boys? HOw have ya'll dealt with this?
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Post deleted by Heather
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I don't think you should be using this website to promote your own products...this is a place where people can come to share fears, feelings and advice without having to deal with more messages that cause confusion - there is enough out there with ibs...don't mean to be harsh...just feel strongly about it..
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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My attitude is simple-if you're THAT insensitive to someone in pain that you can either ridicule or distance yourself from them for thier SPECIAL DIETARY NEEDS,then F**K you.Thanks for sparing me the pain of getting attached and finding out later.PERIOD.Theodore Sturgeon said it best:"90% of EVERYTHING is S**T."What most people don't realize was that he was refering to PEOPLE as well.Life's short and painful enough without wasting any of it on people like that.
Andrew L.
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They are...
#133068 - 12/27/04 03:17 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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... and I already reported them to Heather, so fear not, I'm sure they'll be taken care of shortly. 
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Precisely!
#133069 - 12/27/04 03:25 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I've always referred to my health problems as my "a**hole filter". That's why I mention it on the first date: if someone's going to be a prick about it, they're not worth my time, and it's best to find that out ASAP, before I waste too much of it on them.
Good luck, everyone!
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