Husband with IBS
#115277 - 10/23/04 08:34 PM
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chelsikins
Reged: 10/23/04
Posts: 4
Loc: Santa Fe, NM
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Hi all!  My husband was just diagnosed with IBS (thankfully - now we have a plan of action!), but after reading all the FAQs and pieces of info about IBS, I'm a little concerned. Not for him, but for me....I love the occasional trip to McDonalds or a Pagliacci's Pizza (those in Seattle know that place). He obviously can't eat at those places any more, but I don't want to feel bad for doing so. Not that I'd eat it in front of him or anything - just if I happen to be out....
I guess I'm asking how the spouses of those with IBS cope. Are you irritated if your spouse doesn't follow the diet along with you?
Thanks for any advice!
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I am a sufferer of pretty severe IBS and I am an avid cook and baker. I enjoy so much to see others enjoying their foods, even when I am just eating dry toast. My husband enjoys beautiful home made meals almost everynight, when I just have a bowl of soup or something (my diet is still very very restricted). There is no way in the world I want him to follow my diet. It would make me feel so sad to watch him eating something ibs friendly (a lot of the ibs friendly foods are yummy, but when you are at my stage of restriction, its not fun!) when he has the blessings of someone that can eat what he likes.
We often go to restaurants and he gets a meal, I get a cup of tea and have made sure to eat something before we go so he doesn't feel bad and I don't feel hungry.
I can't speak to all ibs sufferers, but if your husband loves you, and wants you to be happy, he will be glad and supportive to watch you tucking into something you enjoy. if he is frustrated/angry about it in the beginning give him time and be sensitive (the smell of pizza always makes me jealous!!!! ), but he should understand after a while.
being diagnosed with ibs is a bit of a rollercoaster because though it is not life threatening, it really imposes on your life (depending on its severity)....suddenly a persons relationship with food becomes very clear...your husband may do some soul searching.
I would eagerly advise you (esp if he was a food lover) to spoil him in other ways. If he enjoys films, buy/rent him his favourite movie etc etc
Good luck!
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Hello and welcome!!!!
I don't mind when my husband eats that kind of food as long as it is not right in front of me. Not because I get mad but because I get tempted to eat it to. That makes it hard to stick with my diet when I want to eat what he is having.
I have found so many yummy recipies on here that it has not been a huge problem lately. He eats his fast food and junk food at work. Then comes home and eats an IBS safe dinner with me. It's a little harder where my daughter is concerned she is a very picky eater and I almost always have to make her something else to eat. I don't mind.
It will get easier every day!!! Let him know he can come here any time he wants for addvice or support or just to vent. Same goes for you!! IBS effects the whole family. It is a good thing they love us!!! 
Good Luck
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Heather7476
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welcome chelse skin. we are all here to help your husband with ibs questions. jasper
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ive had ibs for 8 years now. im learning alot on this web board. thanks again everyone
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My husband can eat anything without ever getting sick. So can my children. I don't mind at all what they eat in front of me. But it really bothers me when I say that I can't eat something and they give me the look like "sure you can't". It is like they don't believe me. Please, just let me eat what I want with out looks or comments about it. Sometimes people that haven't been in your shoes don't understand.
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when we eat out together we go places where I can at least order a plain potato and chicken/fish... but he eats out with friends without me sometimes.. and with getting the house ready to sell he had 2 electrician buddies over doing stuff and another friend over helping move stuff around last night, so they had pizza and I had a turkey sandwich.. There are some things he doesn't eat in front of me because they are my favorites from before.. but he definitely doesn't eat IBS safe at home.. we had company for dinner on Fri night ()and furniture moving) and he smoked ribs on the smoker and made potatos and chicken breasts to go with... interestingly the women ate chicken adn the men all ate ribs, but thats ok... we all had fun and good food.. he often grills a burger or a steak for himself and chickne/fish for me... but as others have said there is a lot of yummy food we can eat, so he eats with me a lot too... same foods just fine...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Hi, Chelsikins. My husband is very understanding and supports me 100%, though he does not follow my diet. Well, he never had anyway because I'm a veggie and he is not. His eating habbits have never bothered me; I gave up fried foods and the like years ago and just don't care for them anymore. I feel much better without the "junk" in my sytem. So your occasional fast food should not bother him, either, as long as you are very supportive and try to understand him. I think people who are free of IBS should be able to treat themselves. My treats are the wonderfully flavored herbal teas and an occasional small peice of chocolate.
I wish you and your husband luck and hope that he feels better soon.
Steph
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Hi,
Usually when we go out to eat I can always find something that I can tolerate. For instance, Mexican....chicken fajitas rolled in flour tortilla (he puts all kinds of junk on the fajita but I eat mine plain): Chinese.....steamed white rice & lemon chicken: Italian......spaghetti with sauce on the side and lots of italian bread. We like to eat out a lot on the weekends so I have found ways to cope and I really never mind what he's eating. I'm sure he will find foods that agree with him when you eat out, it just takes time and patience. Encouragement & understanding from you would help a lot. You might also try to eat the really "bad" stuff at a time when he won't be with you.
Good luck
Barbie
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That's what I was planning. I don't tend to eat out much, but sometimes I just get a craving...I figure I can always grab something for lunch when we're not together.
Thanks for the tips about what to eat when we go out! We've been cutting down on the number of times we eat out, but sometimes it's nice to treat yourself. I was a little concerned about what he *could* eat when we go out. EVERYTHING is full of fat and grease - even if you just get plain pasta they tend to slather it in oil and/or butter. Is it just a matter of trial and error to see which places you can tolerate?
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Thanks.
Are there pieces of chocolate that are better than others? He's a BIG chocoholic - I'm afraid he'll just say "screw it" and eat too much chocolate anyway. :P I seem to remember hearing that dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate....true?
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Thanks! He's not much one for message boards, so I doubt he'll ever venture in here. Honestly, *I'm* the one doing most of the research about IBS - I'm just summarizing what I find for him. I figure since I'm the one doing the grocery shopping and cooking, it's probably best if I know what I can and can't make.
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I can understand that one!
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