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I actually went to counceliing (as you can see I didnt attend spelling classes so I spelt that wrong haha) and he gave me the best piece of advice.
Remember - once you have expressed your feeling and you two have discussed it just remember that what happens after this point is not your responsibility. It's easier said than done but it does work and helps with the anxiety. Don't dwell on the fact that your feelings were hurt from the discussion because they can sense that (men are like horses - they sense fear haha) just remain normal. If he has said he'll try harder take it as that. If it happens again - then worry about it. Don't dwell on it now.
Like I said it's easier said than done. I have used this method and it does work for me. You and I seem to have alot in common with our husbands.
Hope you can try this and see if it works. I know it helped me alot because I always dwelled on the what-ifs now I just deal with the what-nows.
Lana_Marie
I am in Saskatchewan, Canada
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Thank you once again, Lana....It's real refreshing to have people to talk with that are going through or have gone through the same things. My husband doesn't know that I do this online...not that he would mind...just might not understand how it helps.
Did you go to counseling by yourself or with your husband? I went by myself a while back for a few sessions for grief counseling (not sure if I'm spelling that right). It helped and helped me get of Zoloft for depression. But, I have to admit it also helped my IBS for a time.
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I went to by myself. I mostly went because of some childhod issues I had to resolve for myself. But I found that resolving some of these issues helped with my relationship with my husband.
Lana_Marie
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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My husband and I have been together 8 1/2 years and married for 5 years! We do the same thing, I bring up things that bother me and he waits until he can't stand it and we have a huge fight. He usually takes my moods personally and although I feel bad, I don't think he needs to feel it is always about him. Sometimes I am just frustrated with myself. I am bad because when we fight he always apologizes and I usaully get around it so I don't have to apologize. Aren't I bad? I am trying to remember to apologize to him when I need to.
We had to get our van fixed today and I ended up stuck at my in-laws house with the girls for six hours. I kept calling my husband with updates and he keeps apologizing. He is always trying to fix everything and make everyone feel comfortable. I find this is one of the qualities I love the most. He is such an awsome guy. He even gets up in the night to take care of our sick children. I just had to add that.
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I have a great guy also, torbetta....I don't know what I would do without him...that's why I feel so horrible when I bring things like this up. Because, I know I could have it much much worse. There is a 13 year age difference between us (he's older) but we have been together since the first time we talked on the phone.
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Hi
I quite understand your frustrations w/ your significant others. And the increased anxiety it can bring on the body, and thus, the IBS episodes. I spent 29 years w/ a man who gave me migraines...until I decided to do something about him and them! 
I suggest you both ask your hubbies for what you need. State it in positive terms, using "I" messages (I need for you to call when you are going to be late or {whatever the situation might be} because when I don't hear from you, I become anxious, worried, scared,(whatever the emotion might be), and your phone call helps to calm me down, and then I don't get anxious, etc  . Having said that to them, leave it. You have asked for them to fill a need you have, it's now their responsibility. If they start talking about it in terms of checking up on them, ignore that. It's a red herring (a diversion from the issue). And I think in both instances, it worked for them, because you both are kind of finding excuses for them , and feeling rather emotional about it all, thus, not helping your anxiety or your IBS. You know, in their hearts they know they should have let you know something...and that's why they are using the red herring.
I also suggest if you haven't read it to get John Grey's book about Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
I am no expert, ladies, but I feel your pain and want to help...
Good luck 
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Sue
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Hey Nugget, I am from the wonderfully flat state of Illinois. I have never been to Wyoming, but I would like to go sometime, I hear it is beautiful!
SharShar
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Who knew life was possible with out chocolate?!!
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Thank you for your advice....that is pretty much what my councillor told me too. That is the same message I tried to convey but I guess I didn't really make it clear enough haha. I 100% agree with you and your theories though.
Thanks
Lana_Marie
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Hey SharShar!!! My mom and grandparents are from Illinois! Southern Illinois....
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Thank you Sue....Actually we have the Mars Venus Book...but it has been a while since we've read it....maybe we'll re-read it......
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