Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Hi everyone,
So all this time (about 6 months now) that I've been on the boards, there is something I've been avoiding bringing up, even though it's like one of the biggest issues that makes my IBS worse - it's also something that I feel is just so disgusting and gross and I know that we talk here about the gross and yucky all the time and it's okay - but somehow this just seemed too far gone and I didn't want to bring it up, but it's getting bad again - so here goes. If you're squeemish, I'm warning you - STOP reading NOW!! So alittle over a year ago I was going through awful times of stress and not really knowing how to take care of my IBS. I was having D attacks about 2 - 3 times a day and every time I went all that was in me was D and I had horrible cramping to go allong with it. After a couple months of this, the D was really aggravating my hemmerhoids. I've problems with hemmerhoids for about the last six years now to lesser and greater degrees. But with the continuing D and just not taking care of myself, things got worse. I ended up with an anal abscess (I hate that word! - I will call it AA) from the hemmorhoids and the D. Having the AA lanced and drained was about the most painful and humiliating thing I have ever been through in my life! When they did the surgery, told me I had not developed a fistula, this is a good thing. But I do still have an opening down there where the AA was lanced. Since I recovered from that there have been two other times that I started to have small amounts of drainage from the area and I got worried and went on antibiotics to clear things up. Both times the antibiotics worked and I didn't have to get surgery, but any antibiotics horribly aggravate my IBS and I will not digest my food while I'm on them. I eat nothing but rice and dry cereal and pudding and the like and I drop weight like crazy (good to a certain extent, but it got a bit out of hand last year when I went down to 115 pounds at 5'7 feet tall)! So earlier this week I noticed the drainage again. There is also a bit of blood in it now, just to add to the fun and I feel that marble hard lump poking out of my skin and I am almost certain it is AA that will have be lanced. I'm really almost ready to cry as I write this becaue I DON'T want to go through that again - that surgery was just SO awful! Maybe I'm just a wimp but I'm not dealing with this well. I havn't even been all that sick recently, so I don't know why this has flared up like this. I've been pretty gassy for the past two weeks and I've had a couple attacks, but nothing like what I was going through when I developed this before! Why is it happening again? It makes me feel like I've done something bad so my body is being bad back at me and that makes me all depressed. I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow morning and I am so worried! I don't know the doctor (my primary care physician was not available - she hardly ever is so she rarely sees my anyway - I hate hospitals!). But I'm so worried about going in and dealing with this again! I havn't heard anyone on the board talk about issues like this - another reason I was hesitant to write about it - but if anyone has any advice, or just some support, I would so appreciate hearing from you guys. I'm a mess about this, in more ways than one! Sorry for the long and wining post. Thank you for listening.

Min

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