I totally understand the not being able to deal with it. My grandmother died 3 years ago, I still cannot talk about her without crying my eyes out, I could not cry when she died. I was working hard tending to everyone else in the family, I still have not afforded myself the luxury of greiving over her. I want to go out to the cemetary (I have not been there in all of this time), to leave flowers for Mothers Day. Afraid that if I go, I will have a break down. Ackkkk.
Enough sad stuff, just want you to know I totally understand it all. Hope it gets better.....
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Dont tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is !!!