Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: Do you believe, Michele?

Well, yes, I have to keep telling myself that the pain will get better. When? I don't know! I just keep telling myself that everyone has something to deal with, some people seem to have to deal with much more than others. Why? I don't know that either! Is it fair? Absolutely NOT!

I know its hard and it just plain sucks. Some days my pain is so bad, I have to ask Will to brush my hair because I can't even hold a hairbrush. Does it get me down and make me cry, yes. Does it get harder each day the pain continues, yes. However, we only have three real choices as I see them. 1. Suicide, not a good option, especially for you religious people. It would be an easy way to stop the pain but think of what it does to the people we leave behind. Also, what if they come up with a new drug or treatment to help us in the future? We have to keep hoping! 2. Be miserable and make everyone else around us miserable. To give in to the pain and let it ruin our lives. 3. Try and deal with it the best we can. My friends and family can see the swelling from the RA, can see the bruising from the medications, can see my tears every time I hold a baby. Sure I get angry and upset when, at 35, I can't even rake leaves for 15 minutes or weed my flower beds but if I let it consume me, than there is nothing left but the pain.

So, my house is dusty and my garden is weedy and I can't go out with my friends very often but I try and look at what I DO have, my husband and Harley and friends, even if they are cyber friends!I try to enjoy the sunshine even if it is just sitting on my deck starring at the weeds! LOL!! Sure, after an especially bad day or days, I'll look at all the pill bottles next to the bed and think it would be so much easier to just go to sleep and not wake up but to do that is to let the pain win. To do that is to let down my friends and family. I know you don't have a husband but you DO have a lot of friends and people who care about you!

If your PCP is telling you he can't do anything for your pain, then you need to find someone who is willing to help. Remember, I had THREE doctors tell me I was JUST depressed when, in fact, I have RA and Fibro. Unfortunately, not all doctors are good doctors and not all doctors really listen to us. I know you don't like to take medications but I'd be lost without my antidepressant and RA meds and pain meds and everything else I take. I just can't believe there is nothing to help you. Even if it is an anti anxiety medication or an anti depressant medication. If you can't afford it most pharmaceutical companies have drug assistance programs. Talk to your local social services. You should at least qualify for some counseling or pain management. You have people who care about you, look at everyone who replied when Alicia said you needed support! Love and hugs!!

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Taking it one day at a time.....

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