Thanks for answering. And what do you mean self-centered? How the heck were you supposed to know?
Trust me, the program helped me BIGTIME the first time around. You should have seen me before! I was so much worse. These are just a few things I had hoped would eventually work themselves out, but haven't yet so I'm giving the program the Round 2.
The thing is, I'm wondering if I'm expecting too much out of the hypno. Have you ever heard of this: web page Well, I kinda feel the same way, except for pooping, not peeing. I just want to get over it!! I've tried to find info on the BM's instead of the bladder fear, but I can't find anything. I wonder if I'm the only freak sometimes.
Actually, some people I do tell about IBS. But trust me - some I just CAN'T tell. I would if I could, but I can't. Not because I wouldn't want to. Well, I can't really get into it. It's just not possible. And the pathetic thing too is, I can worry when we are going for a drive up the road on the SAME STREET!! Yes, on the same friggin street. I just don't understand what's wrong with me. I could easily go by myself. *sigh*
I used to take imodium before everything I had to do. Luckily, between EFI & the hypno, I hardly ever use it anymore. Occasionally I'll use Levsinex. The only problem is it makes me tired and as it wears off, sometimes it give me headaches. So, I don't like to use it if I have to do something important.
Dentist - haven't had to tell him yet, but I wouldn't have a problem telling him anymore. Believe it or not, I didn't go to the dentist for almost 3 years after my attack in the chair. But, after the hypno last year, I've been 2x, and I've got another appointment I think in May. He doesn't bother me at all now.
For the hair - last time was only my second time going to this place. I do want to tell her, but haven't worked my way up to it yet. It's kind of hard to just announce it to a stranger! lol Especially when they've got sharp objects near my head! Seriously, I plan on telling them, because they're gonna pretty me up for my weddin', so I want to be as comfortable as possible with them. Plus, I think just the fact that if she knows, it'll take the pressure off. Because last year, I told my coworker about it because she and I share the same bathroom, and whenever she'd go in, I would about hyperventilate and SWEAR I had to go the whole time she was in there - yup, 9x out of 10, false alarm. Damn IBS!!!
Unfortunately, this is not wedding stress. I honestly believe this "phobia" thing is what helped get my IBS up and rolling to begin with. I had a mild case, and this just made it worse I believe.
OK, and I really don't know how it got to be this bad. Yeah, I may have had it a little before, but when my IBS first started, I'd just go to the bathroom where I was at and go and get it over with. But, I couldn't go if someone else was in there. Unless it was a huge bathroom and tons of people where in there so I kinda felt alone. (God - this is so hard to explain!) Now, if I even think I have to go when I'm out I freak out. Somewhere along the way this thing turned into a nightmare and I don't know when, how, why, or what to do to get rid of it. Now, whenever I can manage to go potty in public or at someone else's house, after the crisis is over, Chris and I are very proud of me. This doesn't happen successfully often, BTW. I can remember 3 times.
BTW - I often wonder if this had anything to do with me being an only child. When I grew up, it was only my mom and I till I was 18, when my mom remarried. Oh yeah - could never go when my stepdad was home either. *sigh* I'm just a mess.
Well, Bev, thanks for "listening". Honestly, I'm wondering if "confessing" and hashing it out here will help me get over it more. I don't know. And sorry if any of it doesn't make any sense. It's hard to explain what doesn't even make sense to me.
Edited by Mags2003 (02/18/04 08:22 PM)