Hi everyone,
I am not new to the Boards, although I have been gone for about 10 years. Okay, maybe 14. I been bad. I didn't think I had IBS, which is why I left. You see, I do everything wrong. I do not obey Heather's Ten Commandments. I have long forgotten which foods are soluble and which are insoluble. I had to order her books -- which I just did -- to freshen my memory. I always drink coffee, and I have a Red Robin cheeseburger every week. Okay, maybe twice. But I substitute their bottomless fries for a salad, so that counts, right? No, wait; that's insoluble . . . oh dear, I can't remember. I consume dairy, even though I am lactose intolerant, fried food (an egg HAS to be fried), and of course my beloved Jack Daniels. Believe it or not, he's my best friend; when I'm doubled over with cramps, and nothing helps, I turn to him, and he makes the cramps go away almost instantly. I know, it's crazy; my doc can't figure it out either. (I tried marijuana, but it did just the opposite and made my cramps even more intense.) Doc sent me for an ultrasound, which came back normal, then a HIDA scan, also which came back normal. Now he's convinced I have IBS, even though he's told me he knows nothing about it. He sent me to a third gastroenterologist who disagrees with him and claims I do not have IBS, but he can't figure out what it is that's cramping me up. For years, the morning cramps were always accompanied by vomiting. I couldn't leave the house until I had my morning vomit. Diarrhea accompanied the vomiting at the same time, so I have vomit bowls in all my bathrooms so I can sit on the pot and vomit while pooping. I went on a low-fat diet, and the vomiting stopped. However, low-fat doesn't mean low-cal, so I'm back on my low-cal diet. I eat a lot of broccoli and grapes -- I refuse to peel the grapes before eating them, however -- even though they're insoluble (I think). I can't tolerate artificial sweeteners, any of the "tols" (such as mannitol and maltitol), and most chemicals, such as carrageenan, so yeah, I have a lot of the symptoms of IBS. I might also have gastroparesis, so the next test will be "stomach emptying" if this course of MiraLax that the doc put me on doesn't do the trick.
Anyway, I'm glad to be back. This Board has always been an incredible means of support and information for me. Thanks for listening. 
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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