It really sounds like he could use counseling. Someone, even you if you feel you have a good relationship with him, needs to point out to him how successful he is at getting attention through these negative ways and help him figure out what other "talents" he has and how he might use those to get attention instead. Some kids are willing to do a "social experiment" in which they try to change someone else's behavior (parent, teacher) by doing something (just one thing) different themselves. This can be complimenting someone, doing homework every day for a week in just one subject (going for more is not likely to be successful - too much change too soon!), making a bed, putting dishes in the dishwasher without being asked, etc. Hopefully, the person who needs to attend to these things in a positive way does so (a clue to them is not inappropriate!!) and it can be a small start to a new way of behaving. As for how to talk with his mother, that depends alot on how concerned she is. She may either appreciate your input or not want to hear anything that sounds like a challenge to her way of doing things. You could just try sharing with her your positive observations of his work with you so she can hear someone say good things about her son (it sounds like the school has a lot of negative things to say!). This is definitely tricky and you'll have to use your good people skills to figure out how much and what to say to her. Good luck - again, he is so lucky to have you in his corner!
Andie
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Re: More info....
