Thanks Hawkeye. For the clarity and the hugs! 
I gave him the 3 alternative scenario-- he goes and his mom calls him worthless one more time before she dies, #2: she is happy to see him and apologizes, and #3 it's a scam and she lingers, demanding he take care of her.
I'm simplifying, of course, we've role played all outcomes, I think. I hope. I just want him to not be blindsided and made to feel stupid (she's good at that).
Bottom line: he has a choice to make, and I am behind him and will support him, pick up the pieces and we'll get over this no matter what it is and how long it takes. I'm taking my cues from him, offering advice where I can, but being his quiet, loveable, strong pillar of strength.
Arg. I'll just end up crying when he cries and comparing everything in my head to mine and my father's situation. But we have each other. We'll just keep it simple and do one thing at a time.
Sleeping will help. Sleeeeep. Any... second... now...!
Hey! Fellow East coaster! No sleep for you? And thanks for the prompt reply... 
~nelly~
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Hawkeye! You fix me!
