Thank you so much for your response. I have these vicious cycles of anxiety/insomnia and feel like I can barely function. Other than the Ambien and very occasion Ativan I never took anything else. One precription would last for months. They just didn't help at all this time.
Went to my very understanding doc last week and she spent a lot of time with me discussing the anxiety thing and breaking these cycles. She put me on the lowest dose of Zoloft (says low doses of antidepressants are used for anxiety) and hopefully this will help. However, it takes about 4 weeks to kick in so until then she has me on the lowest dose of Klonopin in the evening. I have been sleeping better, thank God.....I just feel nauseous in the morning. How I hated, hated, hated to take this route, but I also have to function.
A friend of mine has been helping me come to terms with all of this. She has fibro, chronic fatigue, arthritis and takes a cocktail of low dose drugs every evening...same low dose of eveything has worked for the past 15 years...without the drugs she literally would not be able to live. She finally got me to realize that drugs are there for a reason and if you're under a doctor's supervision and you can have a better quality of life, why would you not want that?? Another friend of mine has taken 2 mg of Ativan and a glass of wine every nite for the last 25 years. She knows she is addicted, but doesn't care. It has made her life liveable.
If I could just wipe this IBS out of my life I wouldn't need any of these meds, but then who knows, maybe it would be something else!!! The IBS is, however, the root of my anxiety. I am much like you when it comes to making plans or going someplace....I start getting panicky weeks ahead of time. People just don't understand why you can't plan a shopping day two weeks in advance.
So far now, I hope the meds help and eventually I'll be able to not need them. However, if I do, I'm going to try and not beat myself up over it. Thank you for your kind response. I've read all of your posts and you have been through so much in your life. With everything you deal with, your optimistic, cheerful personality amazes me. You give so much support to others on the board.