Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Pity Party (Some icky details)

Hi guys,

You know, when I came online I was really looking to just vent out all my frustrations and get a little pity party for myself going but then I read Nelly and Michele's posts and realise that I really shouldn't be feeling so sorry for myself when so much is going on to all my IBS friends!

Having said that, I do feel like I could use a little support from the only people who I really think will understand what I am going through. I have been off work for a few months now and I really want to get back to work, but it seems like every time I start to get somewhere, something happens.
I went to Mexico and came back, really sick. I went to get tests and found out it looked like I had parasites, which seemed like really good news because I was sooo sick and if I heard "it's just IBS" again, I was gonna freak. So I took a ten day course of nasty medication and thought I was starting to feel a little better.
Then I started feeling worse again and I went today to get the stuff to do another stool sample to see if its the parasites still or while I was waiting at the doctor's office, had to run to the bathroom from the waiting room. Then I got home, felt all crampy and then suddenly... I didn't make it to the bathroom for the second time in the past month.
WHAT THE HE!!????
I just turned 25 years old, and I am starting to think I am gonna have to start wearing diapers if I wanna go back to work?! I am feeling so humiliated and low, and obviously can't talk to anyone about it because who can relate to this??
I feel so disgusting and awful, I just want to hide away. After all this D and stuff, my poor tush is so sore that I can't even sit comfortably. A couple of years ago I had a really bad fissure (rectal tear) and I really hope that's not what's happening again, but it is so painful at the moment.
I am making a pot of rice and have brewed up some strong peppermint tea to try to physically feel a little better but I just feel so blaah emotionally.
I had an appt scheduled with my GI doc later in the month but they called me today to offer me an appt tomorrow instead as there was a cancellation so I will see her tommorow AM. I haven't seen her for a couple of years, and I really don't like her very much. But I do need to see her, I guess. Because of the blood in my stools and the crystals from the parasites I have to do another colonoscopy, so that'll be fun.

Anyway, sorry to go on and on but like I said, who else can I talk to about this stuff? If anybody is interested, I will update what happens tomorrow at my GI appt.

thanks for listening and being there for me!
Steph

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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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