Re: How did you get so wise?!
04/18/07 02:50 AM
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Blondie13
Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England
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Your words are spot-on, as always! The poem made me cry my eyes out, it hit so many spots.
He has got a little more grown-up about it, from what I can tell - with a good start that the money has shown up in my account, so I suppose I have no reason to worry that he won't honour the car agreement. I guess we'll have to see!
That's the funny thing with his approach to the IBS - whilst he didn't try as hard as me to stabilize, he certainly tried bloody hard, did what was necessary, rarely had a go at me when it caused a problem, etc. He even joked, when I was at my worst, that if I never left the house again it wouldn't be a problem - he'd build a bar in our dining room and invite everyone to ours instead! I guess he never meant it... 
Today's the first day, since it happened on Friday, that I've felt knocked sideways by this. Now I have nearly all my stuff from his house (will do a proper update above) it feels more complete somehow. And even though it was 100% over from the second he said "I don't love you like I used to do", this really hammers it home.
I just wish I could suss out how I feel about him - why aren't I thinking about him 24/7? Why don't I cry when I do? Why does it take someone being all nice and hugging me to make me cry? Why, when i imagine him with someone else, does it not make me angry or sad or disgusted?? Why do I just feel well, slightly sad & disappointed in him??
I just don't get it, yet.....
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