Wow, I'm so sorry you had such an unpleasant experience on that island. I have been to Hawaii at least 4 times in the last 5 years, not to Lanai, but to Maui, the Big Island and Oahu. I've never had a bathroom experience as you had but I do understand that parts of Hawaii are very rural. In many cases visiting Hawaii is similar to visiting Mexico...the tourist areas are wonderful but once you leave the area things change dramatically. The entire island relies heavily on the tourist industry economically.
On all of my trips there I eat with great caution not to trigger an IBS attack. As we all know, the food at hotel restaurants isn't the greatest quality since it's mass produced. Breakfast is usually oatmeal and toast, lunch is a hamburger, dinner a safe pasta dish. Eating chicken out in restaurants is always a gamble.
Accessibility to bathrooms so far has not been an issue but I do plan finishing my meal and sticking around for at least an hour in a "bathroom safe" area. I realize you were there in a very social setting and that may not have been possible. We will be visiting Kauai next year, a more rural island, so I'll have to report back afterwards.
Here is one thing....when you have IBS, home can easily become your favorite safe spot 
I encourage you not to give up on Hawaii altogether but try someplace like Maui where there is a bathroom almost everywhere you look! Happy New Year to you!
~Alicia
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Re: A warning: IBS in Lauai (Hawaii)
