Oh, Emma, don't get so down on yourself. Life sucks sometimes, and when it does, well, even the best of us kind of suck at being a decent person.  If you find a cure, let me know, I have been setting new records on the Bitch-o-Meter lately too.
I'm sorry to hear about your dog.  It is very traumatic when a pet dies -- they're family, too, probably the only kind that unconditionally loves you. (that is generic "you", not specific "you")
Sorry, I have no sage advice, but I'm thinking of you -- hang in there, and be nice to yourself.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Re: feeling a bit bad
