Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Man, I hate to even admit this....

but when my husband I were dating while in college, I hated when he went out with his "friends" there. They were guys from high school, and they didn't have girlfriends, and all they wanted to do was drink and meet girls in bars. And besides all that---they were just losers. (He isn't friends with them now, and through no interaction on my part.)

I KNEW he wouldn't cheat on me. But I knew his friends would put him in situations, on purpose, that would come close to crossing the line. So every time he went out with them, we nearly had a fight. He always said "Why can't you just tell me to have fun?" which is what he always did when I went out. But it was hard. And then I always felt the need to grill him when he got back. And believe me there were a few times where he didn't necessarily cross the line, but he didn't put up a stance I thought he should have (and he agreed with me) and that just fueled my fire.

Anyway, our relationship matured, with major bumps---ok, mountains!---and he realized those guys were losers. as we got older, we started to hang out with the same group of people, so we each know all our friends really well, and going out alone is nothing. Even when he sees one friend from highschool who wasn't such a loser, I don't even think twice. I say "don't get arrested!" and that's it. But I never even think about it now.

Part of it the security of marriage and just knowing we are both grown ups and can handle ourselves and be mature. And I think just ultimate trust. Hard earned, but it's there.

Ginger

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