I'm just devastated. It was the hardest thing to look at my two babies on the screen and be able to see there little fingers, arm, legs, I mean like looked just little little sleeping babies. I kept telling the dr that they were just sleeping and that we had to be wrong, that they couldn't be dead. They just kept telling me they were sorry. I feel like such a failure, why can't I grow my babies? I feel so terrible for Will, he deserves so much better than this. We both wanted these babies more than anything in the world. How am I supposed to deal with this. So many bad things have happened in the last couple of years that I'm just drained. I feel all my streagnth is used up.
How am I supposed to handle the funeral on Friday?? I can't possibly bring Jessica any more pain right now. She was so happy for us and we even started calling her Auntie Jessica. I still look very much pregnant. The dr's said something about a LOT of edema in there while doing the ultrasound but I can't imagine all my belly is going to magically dissapear overnight. Its just cruel to still look pregnant, feel pregnant and have to sit here knowing my babies are dead inside of me. I don't think I'm sucidal, I couldn't put Will through that right now but I just don't see how I'm going to go on. Do I just try to pretend everything is ok at the funeral for the sake of Jessica or do I tell her??? Why is this happening to me again, what did I do to deserve such pain????
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re:Thank you all so much
