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Ha! I'm amazed I could stop laughing long enough to hit the reply key! Everyone always seems to think I am so driven, and inside I feel like such a mess. Truth be told, I'd abandon my career and my life in New York to be with my bf in London, where I'd have a hard time working. He's hesitating all of a sudden (about EVERYTHING), and I'm questioning a lot myself. I know that if I do have a career I want it to be in law, and probably at the firm I'm working for this summer, but I also never saw myself as a career woman. I always imagined I'd be married right out of college, would have a thousand babies and stay home and take care of them. When it was clear by senior year that that wouldn't happen, I decided to go to law school, kind of on a lark. Once I got there people just seemed to push me in a certain direction, and I let the current take me. Now I'm somehow editor-in-chief of moot court, which is a huge, prestigious position, and I feel like someone is going to come to their senses one day and realize that I'm a total goofball! It's reassuring, I guess, that I come off as having it all together, but it also makes it hard for me sometimes to admit that I need advice, etc. I feel afraid to shatter people's perception of me, you know?
Do you think guys think about this sort of stuff?

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Yeah ... all the time, unfortunately.

It's funny to read this. I've lurked here a long time and I've always definitely thought you had it all together! But, sorry, my opinion still hasn't changed, even if you think you're a mess. You couldn't be where you're at right now if you weren't at least somewhat with it.

I've read your other posts about your BF. Like lots of other women here, I went through this with my husband as well. He didn't want to go sow wild oats -- he didn't have his eye on other women -- there was nothing wrong with our relationship -- he just Wasn't Ready To Commit. I ended up deciding to stick it out because the thought of leaving him sort of made me feel like vampire rabbits were gnawing on my internal organs. We had our one-year wedding anniversary two months ago and are really happy together. (and if only I could suppress the horrible "nagging" gene handed down from my mother we would be even happier)

I don't know what's tougher -- sticking it out, or deciding not to. I know it must be even worse for you since BF's in London. I wish you luck with whatever you do decide.


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jen

"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC

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