Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Making babies ... and then staying home with them!

Hey, I was going to post this in the other thread but it was WAY too long.

This is something that's really been on my mind and I'm not sure who else to discuss it with.

So here's the deal.

I'll be 24 next month. DH will be 33 in January. We are going to start trying to have kids after Christmas. The only reason we aren't trying now is so that we will have time to get all debt except mortgage paid off.

I really want to stay home with my kids -- at least until they go to school. I firmly believe that ***I*** should be the one to raise my kids -- not the daycare! (I know this is a controversial subject -- but the sad fact is, the daycare will be there for most of your child's waking hours.) DH doesn't really feel the same, but has agreed it is OK with him if I stay home with the kids until the second one is 3.

Here's my problem. I am in a technical field and am very good at what I do -- I already make 20% more than DH (who is in the same field with twice my experience). However, the job is demanding and it's easy to very quickly lose skills. Presuming I had my two kids a couple years apart, I would've been out of the job market around 7 years. At that point, getting a similar job would be impossible.

I am really good at money and I don't foresee any problems living on DH's income. But I wonder if I am going to make a mistake essentially giving up my work. It is not what I want to do long-term -- it is not a family-friendly job as I am basically on call 24/7 and spend long hours at work. But, I have worked really hard to get where I am and am really respected where I work -- which is really tough for a 23-year-old woman in a technical position, let me tell you!!! So in some sense I am a little reluctant to give it up.

It's possible I could go part-time at my current job -- I haven't talked it over with my boss because I don't want him knowing I plan on getting pregnant so soon. But, I am a very workaholic person and I am afraid that the part-time hours would creep up more and more and I'd end up in the same boat. Working at home is not an option, and neither is consulting.

Again, it's not really the money that's a problem, it's getting back into the job market. My thought was to use the time off to maybe go back to school for something that WOULD be more family-friendly. I always wanted to be a teacher (elementary school) but ended up going into a technical field instead. But when I brought this up to DH he wasn't very happy about it, pointing out how little teachers make.

So I don't know.

Anyway, sorry for the long post! But this is preying on my mind and if I do get pregnant in six months I am going to have to figure out what to do!

Advice please?

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jen

"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC

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