This from a man who had harsh words with his mother, tonight...
12/27/04 08:23 PM
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RDumas
Reged: 12/19/04
Posts: 64
Loc: West San Fernando Valley
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I'm sorry to hear about your son. It seems like this woman is causing unnecessary grief in your life and to your family. That is simply not right. Perhaps, you could just take care of yourself, for now; and let the dil's hostility burn itself out.
It's unfortunate that some people never seem to "get that grip" on the consequences of their "inter"actions and do damage to relationships. Hopefully, this will not cause too much of that kind of damage to your relationship with your son and his children.
I can't really begin to give you tangible, step-by-step advice as to what to do with this situation. This is because I am going through something similar. And, I'm seeking therapy from a psychologist -sent an introductory email to him, today  . Hey, it's about getting well and staying well. No pride; no shame.
I've found that if one puts in effort towards resolving a conflict or long-standing issue, it does get better. In other words, make the effort and the situation will improve...be the result is unplugging yourself from the dil until she "grows up and realizes it's about the kids, now, and not her", seeking some kind of counsel through therapy, a clergy member, wise confidante... or using some other tried and true alternative. Time can be a great healer, too.
It's truly sad that in this world we have times when it get too difficult to simply enjoy our time with each other (especially family) and make the best of our relationships. And, being a person who stays in recovery (it's in the contract!) this means that if something is keeping me sick, I have it healed it as if you would any other malady. And also sadly, this woman seems to simply be a malady in your life. It needs to be healed with our without her involvement.
-a few thoughts on the matter sent from someone who has to heal his heart quite often.
Dumas. 
Edited by RDumas (12/27/04 08:32 PM)
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