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Thank you Stephie.

But you know, I've done all of that.
Hrm, you have done ALL of that stuff I suggested? I understand if you FEEL like you've done so much that there isn't anything left to try, but I find it a little hard to believe that you've tried everything that's been suggested to you on here. I know it sucks and it takes patience and time... but giving up is going to affect you more than it does anyone else, and you owe it to yourself to be open to trying new things. Right now I'm just eating Chicken and Rice. Yesterday I was doing just fine, everything going good, had a little trip to walmart, watched Hot Fuzz at night. I also ate chicken and rice for dinner.
I just want to point out that I know you feel limited, but I'm not suggesting that you eat only chicken and rice. And of course, the day I'm supposed to go to the faire, I have problems. And its a different kind of problem. I haven't gone to the bathroom one time today. But every single second I feel like I need to, and that any moment I'm going to seriously need to. I'm so afraid to get in that car. I have no choice, I have to go. I have medicine from the doctors, and I'm taking Immodium. I'm already loaded up on it, and I have to stay up all night to leave. If I go to sleep, I will wake up with some hefty problems. I still can't go to the bathroom, but I know that the moment I get into that car, I'm going to have to. You said that thing about remembering all the 15 minutes I've gone without having to go. Yes, I've done that so many times, expecially today. I mean if I get an attack really early in the trip, there will be no stops for me. Ugh! why couldn't I have just gone yesterday, or even earlier today? But no, everything seems to conspire to make my life worse and worse and worse.
This sounds to me like a typical STRESS reaction to the IBS. You feel fine one day, but the minute you have something important to do, you get sick right? Think about where you are mentally. Are you worked up because you are thinking about going? Are you telling yourself over and over that you're going to get sick? I'm not suggesting these things are your fault, but they are behaviours that could easily trigger an IBS attack and you need to consider getting a handle on that.

And what is wrong with groceries?! I went to every health food section in that store, every single one of them, EVER SINGLE ONE! had wheat, milk, and or nuts.
This really, really suprises me because of all the vegans and people with severe nut allergies, etc out there. Where do you live?

So you know what I got? Grapes, and plain chicken...MMM MMM! I don't even think I can have grapes. I lost 50 pounds in one year.
Grapes might be hard to digest, but it's all down to you. Maybe they don't bother you. That's where the food diary comes in handy. You said you have tried everything, have you tried journalling everything you eat and drink and your reactions, etc?

last year at this exact same time, I weighed 220 pounds, now at this very moment, I weigh 163. That came from not eating, and eating like I have to now. by the way I stopped eating bread. I've been taking fiber every day now, the one from this website. I believe it helps but...who knows.
And are you using it every day in really small amounts and verrrrry gradually increasing it? It hurts so much every time I see someone just up and go and have fun, they can just go out and have a great time, they can leave at any moment, wake up and just go, they can do whatever they want at any time. Every...single...freaking thing Is hell for me. Any fun activity is just a terrible trap for me, full of suffering, anger, depression, fear. Hey you want to go to my lan party? NO, I can't go, because my life sucks. Anyone can tell me to just "not worry" but thats impossible, you can't just not worry, expecially when the reason your worrying is because you are actually having the problem right at the moment. There is no way around it.
It does suck. You are absolutely right. But I really think that you will feel better if you try to have the best attitude you can about it. Sure, there will be times that you get really bummed out but take some "power" back in your life and decide you are going to do whatever you can to get yourself healthier. Focus on the positive things in your life and try to recognise when you begin to spiral down in negative thoughts, accept them for what they are, and then let them go!

I've had a colonoscpy, endoscopy, that ridiculously long 5 hour x-ray, blood tests, stool tests, THEY EVEN WANT ME TO REDO MY X-RAY BECAUSE THEY LOST MY RECORDS! I've gone in for countless little assessments, and pointless talks. Its stupid that I had to go through hell just for them to tell me what they want to do to me some other time.
Like Sand said, if you don't like your doctor than find another one. Once you find one that you trust, really trust them. If he/she says to redo a test, do it.

I don't believe in Hypnotherapy, I don't believe yoga would do a thing, and I'm pretty sure I've made just about any adjustment to my life that I can.
Tell me something, why don't you "believe" in these things? Have you tried them for an extended period of time and had them not give you any benefits? An open mind is the best tool you have to solve a difficult problem. You know I'm atleast 2 years behind in High school because I had to drop out of regular high school to do this computer program...even then I still have to go in to a school building atleast once a week. Everyone my age has long graduated and I'm still in it...Any and all foods I love have wheat in it...I swear its like some sadistic freak is up their making sure I have the worst time possible.
You can adjust. It sucks and it's hard. But you adjust and you move on. And you are far happier, because you are healthier. That is, IF you don't have a tolerance for wheat. And that will take time to figure out. And have you ever ate a plain potato or plain white rice? I can't stomach it, its gross. It needs something in it. Are you kidding? I have lived for days upon days upon weeks on bland food and sure, it's not very yummy but... seriously? A plain baked sweet potato is not the worst thing in the world and you need to try to remember that. It's your attitude that it holding you back here. I know it sucks, but you have to pull yourself up for your own good. Seriously, after this whole faire thing is over, I don't even care, I'm eating a whole freaking ton of Chinese food...and I'll just live in my room and play harvest moon.

What I planned on doing to make this trip easier is after the 8 minute drive to the fork in the road that starts the 15 minute road leading to the 10 minute road to the gas station 5-10 minutes away from the faire grounds, is to take a movie (the grinch) and play it at the moment we go down that road so hopefully time will pass by very quickly. The reason I'm so afraid of this road is because of my brothers wedding. On my trip back, it was terrible, and it seemed like the longest road ever.

Hurmpf...I have no idea what to do.

Good luck, and keep us posted. Reply to this post if you can and want to answer any of the questions I have put to you. And try to focus on as much positive in your life as you can, it will help you get through rough times. You are young, and rough times will come and you need to figure out a way to get through them for your own health and future happiness.
We are all pulling for you!
Steph

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