i don't know if it's schedule, tiredness, stress, or what, but another late night that didn't go to well.
pre-gym: luna bar
post-gym: jay robb egg white protein powder in water (no soy milk in the house so i gave this another shot. not the protein powder for me.)
oatmeal (cinnamon instant)
1 pc soy pizza
1/2 c apple sauce
honey wheat pretzels
3 hardboiled egg whites
small pb&j sandwich
vegan strawberry banana mufiin (grrr - not what i wanted to do in that the pb&j was supposed to cut it for dinner before the play i saw, and in that i am really not in a position to be spending money on food. but i wasn't full from the sandwich, and... grrr.)
then, getting home at 11 after the play:
wheat thins (not sure how many - straight from the box!)
frozen raspberries
small spoonful of reduced fat pb
(grrr again - i was feeling like snacking, so i set out some raspberries to thaw... and while i was waiting grabbed the crackers. i was tired and just not thinking or exerting any control. (i need to find something better to replace wheat thins & teddy grahams, both of which i love in part for the dense, crunchy texture, and both of which i'm too prone to binge with.) then, after the raspberries, really tired and about to go to bed, but having this weird snack impulse i get when i'm tired, as if it's something to do to fend of the tiredness - like that's a thing to do at midnight! so i had a bite of pb, as if to just shut my hungry self up, and then i went to bed. sigh.)
gym: dragged myself out of bed for 30 minutes on the elliptical, crunches, push-ups, and lifting (arms).
calories probably around 2000. meh.
i'm in another spell of money-stress (what's new, right), and really set on not eating out for a while, bringing all my food to work. but what i have just isn't really filling. throughout the day i'm fine, but it's not working for dinner when i'm seeing a play at night - i don't know if that makes me eat too early, so that i'm hungry again when i get home but too tired by then to make good choices, or if it's just watching my (metabolically gifted) roommate eating that makes me want to eat, too... coupled, again, with being too tired to make good choices. we're going out again tonight (this time the ballet) - if i weren't broke we'd have a good dinner before, and maybe it's just psychological, since my calories are fine, but i'd feel fuller and more satisfied. maybe it's just the mental thing of, the way things are now, not having any real meals, just lots of snacks throughout the day. i'm not hungry, really, but i never feel full.
okay, that was a really long rant. i mean, i'm also, the last few days, a little bored at work, so it's just a confluence of, like, everything except pms. (give me a few more days till that.) and i'm not craving unhealthy foods, just more food. your thoughts would be very appreciated.
-------------------- jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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