Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | I remembered what I was going to say

The other thing I learned about forging friendships: You MUST be open with them. We want our friends to be supportive of us, but how can we realistically expect them to be if we only tell them part of the truth? Now I didn't use to be, but I am a very open person (as I'm sure you saw by the last post). Let me give you an example about openess leading to stronger friendships.

Back, in August, I was "teaching" in the nursery of my church with about 4 or 5 other women. 1 of them who was just a sub that day, not a regular teacher, was someone I never met before named Linda. Linda wanted to strike up a conversation with me and asked how I was. At the time, I was seriously struggling with money. I had just gotten my MA in May, but no one had hired me. I was working a part time job only earning about $100 a week, I was just barely scraping by, and really not even that well b/c checks were bouncing left and right. Instead of saying I was find or just having some money problems, I opened up, told her everything. The other 2 teacher were also listening to what I was saying. When I finished I was in tears from all the stress. The other 2 teachers went back about their business, but Linda gave me a big hug and then wrote down her phone number and told me to call her and she might be able to help out. She ended up hiring me to clean her house at $10 an hour and even though I was still just getting by, no more checks bounced. I worked with Linda and her husband Bob from August through October and coming over every weekend to clean. I also learned a lot about them. For instance, they had 5 kids, all adopted. 2 were bipolar and 1 was autistic, 3 of them were a set of triplets (the 2 bipolar and a "normal" one). The 2 bipolar kids had LOTS of problems, they have other health issues which causes a problem with their bipolar episodes.

Over the course of those 3 months, Linda has become my best friend even though she could be my mother, and her family has "adopted" me. They really are supportive of everything I go through, medical and otherwise and have become like advocates for me. I can't really do anything for them, at least not anywhere close like they do for me, but I listen and I encourage especially Linda who's health is not so great from all the stress. We spend time together after the kids are in bed and just relax and talk. In Feb., I noticed Linda was really stressed out so I took her for a weekend to a resort hotel to "get away from it all" and just relax...I would have sent her and her husband instead, but I couldn't take on caring for their bipolar son, long story. Anyway, the point to this is that all of this was possible b/c I opened up to a stranger.

The moral of the story? Be open, don't put up a wall to try and protect your feelings. Sure, you may get hurt in the process, but even just 1 friend like Linda is worth it.

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Erin
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IBS-D, GERD...
I got it comin' outta 1 end or the other!

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