I am currently seeing 4 doctors (GI, a new PCP because I didn't have one, so he doesn't really know me yet, just started with a Health Psychologist (2 visits) and I've been seeing a psychiatrist for some meds for about a year. Yep, believe it or not, I'm on an AD!
I do see the doctor Bob went to....Dr. Michael Jones. But he seems more interested in laughing and cracking jokes than taking this seriously and giving me answers/tests/relief.
Okay, going to take another risk by opening my mouth and saying something else that I may regret sharing later (I must be feeling really free and open this morning to let my guard down for all the people on the web to read my personal thoughts). I don't understand why people are so scared to hear people say they want God to let them go to Heaven now. Isn't it better than the pain? We put animals out of pain ....but for some reason humans must remain in pain?
Maybe I really don't want to die. Maybe I would be upset if I was taken from this world... who knows. And yes, it would greatly upset me to hear someone I cared about say this same thing. Not because I think death is so scary (we are all going to die one day), but because I wouldn't want them to be hurting so badly that they thought this was their only hope for relief.
I don't have any plans to kill myself! But I do sometimes pray for God to take me home if the pain continues. But, I also pray that God gives me the strength to make it through the day and to learn to live with this pain. Maybe I'm praying for two contradictory things....maybe that's why neither are happening...they are cancelling each other out. (guess I have some sense of humor left, huh).
The fact that God has brought some people into my life who are able to have faith and hope for me...people who have shared their beliefs, passages from the Bible, and have given me such encouraging words of comfort and continue to try and "coach" me through treatment has been a blessing. For that I am grateful...I guess God is giving me strength to go on through other people since I am not able to have it for myself.
Sorry so long and reflective. I think a lot is going on in my mind...and I should probably start a diary instead of embarrassing myself on these boards!
These posts may be deleted when I "wake up" a little more this morning!
-------------------- ~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Re: I TOTALLY relate
I don't understand why people are so scared to hear people say they want God to let them go to Heaven now. Isn't it better than the pain? We put animals out of pain ....but for some reason humans must remain in pain?
I think a lot is going on in my mind...and I should probably start a diary instead of embarrassing myself on these boards! 
