Hey Dalia- hard to know how to respond, you know? Seems like a mixed bag for you, damned if you are, damned if you're not. I hope whatever happens, it's for the best.
I would love to accidentally get pregnant, as we really really want to have a baby, we have the money, the space, the stability etc. I just don't have the time right now. To that end- we're still using LOTS of birth control. I've never heard that the rhythm method was very reliable.
But, to sympathize with you, I'm paranoid about getting pregnant. If my period is even a little late I freak out. I usually just take the test though. I figure peace of mind is worth it!